Have you ever wondered: What qualities are important in friendship? And in the couple? What would I ask for if I had a magic wand and were granted 3 wishes? What would I like a day in my life to be like in 5 years?
All these questions are directed to find out what is important to you, clarifying what your values are, in a certain way, involves imagining, discovering and observing. Thinking about what you consider valuable will be the beginning of being able to maintain a life based on your values, and not on what third parties consider essential.
Values can be defined as a person’s principles and beliefs about what is important in life. In this way, they define a part of how we are, influencing the determination and expression of attitudes and behaviors, guiding the way in which we make decisions, act, think…
Throughout childhood and adolescence, each person’s value system is built, decreasing the probability of change in adulthood. This does not mean that the values present at age 16 are the same at age 32, however, it is true that over the years this system tends to stabilize.
Thus, values can be transitory and variable throughout life, but It will be in adolescence when this system becomes especially relevant At this stage the young person’s own identity and autonomy develops, where choosing the values on which they would like to live will be essential.
Decisions made during adolescence could mark or condition your state of well-being for years. For example, the values by which a teenager lives will influence what he decides to study when he finishes compulsory education, what type of job to look for, what people he interacts with (friends, partner…) or how he spends his free time.
Young people often present values similar to those of their family and friends On the other hand, on many occasions, adolescents’ values do not coincide with those of their parents and extended family, and this will be a normal part of the development of their individuality. They begin to think for themselves, generate independence from their mother and father, developing their own vision of the world; They may reject values that they previously maintained, and, perhaps, later, they may integrate them again.
As for friends and schoolmates/institute, They may exert pressure to perform behaviors that are in line with what is “socially desired.” and not according to what the adolescent wants to do.
Creating your own value system
Developing your own value system involves:
Values are present to guide us in most of the decisions we make, but they do not have to be 100%. There will be times in life when we do not act in line with a certain value and it doesn’t have to be something negative: values should guide us, not pressure us.
How to support teenagers?
Many teenagers want to “do what is right” but do not know how or do not feel confident enough to make decisions based on their beliefs, and end up prioritizing the opinions, ideologies and thoughts of their friends or family, before their own.
Thus, It will be important to help the adolescent:
If these skills are not worked on, it may be that, even if they discover which values would be in line with themselves, they do not feel the ability to act on them
