Violence In The Home: Educating Healthy And Non-violent Children
We constantly ask ourselves: How can I eradicate violence in the home and at the same time encourage healthy development in my children? Every attempt will be in vain if you don’t start with yourself. The family is the bastion where we can begin to instill values such as non-violence and healthy and open communication with our children.
To learn more about domestic abuse: “The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship”
Addressing violence in the home and educating from home
The first step is to identify the situations or practices that cause the accumulation of stress and frustration Parents are not machines. The constant demand for your attention and time tends to destabilize you emotionally and physically, not to mention that the current economic and work situation pushes anyone to the limits.
Dismantling our work and/or academic life from our home life is a difficult task, however it is necessary. We should not impute to our children or partner our worries and duties regarding what belongs outside the house. Try to let go of your work or school worries once you are away from work or school, if you need to spend more time on something, Find a moment that you can dedicate exclusively to the activity and be sure to communicate it to your family, requesting their support Remember that your professional and personal growth is also their growth.
Once this is done, here are some suggestions that may help in developing a healthy and harmonious coexistence
Establish and enforce rules of respect at home
In the previous article it was established that the family is the basic social nucleus of every society, and what is a society without norms? If necessary, write them down so that all family members are familiar with the regulations. It is important that the minor conceives the relationship between the internal rules and the external ones, making explicit the consequences of not following them. In your house rules, be sure to firmly prohibit the use of insults, hits, or threats between your family members.
In the article about bullying we establish some types of violence, remember then that all types of violence, whether verbal, physical or the third type, is a transgression towards the entire family, because it results in the triggering of various actions and reactions, in addition that it does not recognize the value of each member.
Promotes assertive communication
The assertive communication It is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct manner. When talking to your children, have you ever felt that they only tell you what you want to hear? Do your children have difficulty expressing their feelings and opinions to you? Do you really know how to listen to them?
Open and assertive communication not only prevents adverse situations, it also provides the space to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence.
At this point it seems important to me to comment that I am part of the generation in which a spanking was not violence, it was correction, which is why I must make it clear that sometimes, when attempts to resolve conflicts through dialogue seem not to be enough and that we need to go to the next step, it is necessary to know that not all reprimands are violent in nature, it is only important to know when and how to discipline children.
Avoid reprimanding your child with a hot head, make sure that the reprimand is of the same “caliber” as the offense committed. The minor must learn that To every negative action there is a directly proportional reaction, whether at home or in society. At the same time, I also want to comment that a vital part of parenting is trusting your instincts, not following fashions or trends just because of what people will say.
Planning
As a family, it is important to live together and spread out healthily Sharing collaborative activities instead of competitive ones, integrating and knowing each other’s tastes is essential. Seeks to plan a time a day when this happens. Organize your schedules, he who seeks finds, even if it is 5 minutes. Quality is worth more than quantity.
Wake up and smell the coffee
As cruel as it sounds, It is better to “die knowing” than to “live deceived” We often do not enjoy our reality because we live longing to have the perfect family. Avoid disappointment and remember the following: No matter what you see on social networks, young children have a lot of energy and are not interested in what adults want from them, siblings will fight. Spot. From time to time, some more than others, it is normal, it is part of living together. Not to mention preteens and teenagers, do you remember when you were their age?
Enjoy those moments, which are sometimes rare, of family coexistence. Abandon your preconceived fantasy, accept the characteristics of the age of each of your children and…
Accept errors and defects
Nobody is perfect, nobody is born knowing. The house where making a mistake is condemned is fertile ground for domestic violence. Within the family it must be established a routine to ask and grant forgiveness, and practice it frequently.
Be the example, encourage generosity and tolerance with others in your children, allowing them to learn to grow through mistakes. Teach them not to trip over the same stone.
Promotes values
The family is undoubtedly the ideal nucleus to promote values from an early age and project in each of its members a way of life that is healthy and transmissible among the individuals that make it up as well as in society. The values They are observable as each member responsibly assumes the role that they must play, seeking the well-being and integral development of the other members.
Rights, why is it necessary to promote them from home?
Your children should know their rights and know that they deserve respect, they should never tolerate violence without reporting it. Teach them to take care of themselves and protect themselves from abuse by being assertive in their personal relationships Review together the importance of each of your rightsand obligations.
The house is the laboratory where they practice healthy relationships, and where your example is substantial so that they assimilate their value. Let’s remember the analysis of violence from the mimetic theory, if your children see you suffer from a violent relationship or violate your partner in their presence, it will be difficult for them to learn to recognize or live a healthy relationship in the future.
Control the influence of environmental media violence
Violence enters your home with your permission. Analyze what the media your children have access to are promoting. Do not allow everyday life and visual culture to determine the development of the value system and the formation of your children’s behavior. Don’t let the media be responsible for educating your children
Continuously exposing ourselves to violent images makes us vulnerable and gradually allows us to admit the inadmissible as normal. Being exposed to violence from an early age has a negative effect on a child’s development.
Don’t be silent, denounce violence
You have already established the rules, and you have taught your children to assert their rights, now it is important to point out violent acts and attitudes, and publicly condemn them. Promote in your children denounce violence the trust they place in you is essential for you to help them detect when their integrity is at risk, they can be victims of harassment even within their own home.
Violence will remain silent when you decide to speak
