What Are Relationships Based On Emotional Dependence Like?
People who experience this affective disorder usually have difficulty detecting where their emotional needs begin and end.
By not visualizing the limits established between both members of the couple, the person is trapped in a kind of emotional limbo in which you may end up trapped for a long period of time.
The characteristics of emotional dependence in the couple
In general, the emotionally dependent person tends to be attracted to dominant people or people with narcissistic traits and, furthermore, this attraction is usually mutual with this type of profile.
By not having completed a correct learning about what it means to have a healthy relationship, these subjects They can be involved in dysfunctional and unequal relationships in which there is role play Usually, one of the members of the couple is the dominant one, and the other will submit, taking a submissive position.
There are some cases in which these roles alternate between both subjects, but they are hardly perceived as equal, unlike what occurs in secure attachment relationships.
Warning signs
The beginning of the relationship is usually marked by a marked and somewhat disproportionate intensity Fireworks are the soundtrack of this meeting.
However, the person who develops this emotional imbalance associated with a relationship begins to enter an enchanted forest where, gradually, they will begin to blur.
The dependent person is often trapped in a relationship that, as time passes, stops adding value to your life However, the taste in the mouth left by the fireworks at the beginning of the relationship causes a deep desire to experience them again.
Although the feeling of discomfort may last over time, and the dependent is not able to abandon the relationship, he remains in the hope of recovering the intensity previously experienced.
By not finding it in a positive way, you will tend to look for it even if it is in a negative way such as through heated and disproportionate discussions.
A dysfunctional relationship that keeps people trapped
The narcissist and the dependent share an emotional lack that they make up for with each other Just as the dependent believes that he needs another person to stop feeling the permanent emptiness with which he is accustomed to living, the narcissist also needs the other to exist, since they are usually completely empty people who are nourished by the vital energy of others. those around him.
The dependent showers his narcissist with unconditional love as long as he does not abandon him and, in this way, avoids reconnecting with the emotional emptiness inherent in it.
The narcissistic person can abuse the dependent by playing power games and on some occasions, they may take a position of submission if they see that they can extract some benefit in this way. Emotionally dependent relationships are dangerous, since both members of the couple they risk losing their identity as individuals and, furthermore, they can become hooked on their partner, whom they usually see as an emotional provider.
Cases of gender violence largely reflect the dependence of those people who find themselves trapped in the clutches of their abuser, who, possibly, this last person is someone with a narcissistic character and jealous traits.
In the most serious cases, both members of the couple are completely nullified by their partner and may encounter serious difficulties in breaking this vicious circle.
emotional dependence It is comparable to the addiction produced by certain chemical substances in drug addicts ; These people also share similar behavioral patterns, since the same neurological processes are activated as those who suffer from a drug addiction. It is common that when the person manages to leave the relationship, they go through a period of readjustment in which symptoms derived from the abstinence caused by the deprivation of the emotional provider may appear.
The neuropsychological bases of the problem
Generally, in the processes of falling in love, the brain secretes a series of hormones that cause a healthy and necessary attachment to the partner. However, when there is an imbalance in this process, a hormonal cocktail is produced that can lead to a hook similar to what an alcoholic may feel with drinking.
The dependent person is usually a highly demanding person towards his or her partner since no matter how much the other person gives him all his attention, he never has enough and increasingly needs more emotional demonstrations.
What can be done?
Each one of us deserves to enjoy a healthy relationship that offers authentic well-being and gives us emotional security. Ending this vicious cycle is a complicated process, but not impossible.
Normally, these situations occur in people who are marked by deep emotional wounds, and therefore, The key to beginning to overcome this emotional imbalance is to detect the wound and then begin to heal it
One of the most frequent wounds hidden behind these behaviors is the emotional wound of abandonment. The person may have experienced real abandonment during his childhood and it is even likely that abandonment has not been experienced in a real way, however, the infant may have felt helpless or have the sensation of abandonment by one of his parents.
This wound is activated when the person comes into contact with their emotional world, letting the pain that emanates emerge and subsequently creating these behavioral patterns.
Before starting a new relationship it is essential fill ourselves with self-love and then be able to share it with another person, since we cannot deliver what we have not previously cultivated.
Learning to be alone and enjoy our own company can be a revealing experience if we open ourselves to it without resistance. Remember that inside you there is still the child that you once were, wanting to be showered with love and only you are responsible for him receiving it properly.
