It is a feeling that is perfectly represented in different films and books with a predictable structure and a happy ending. However, it is important to identify the stereotypes and myths that describe the nature of romantic love today:
1. There are no impossible things when love is true
It is one of the beliefs that should be overcome in order not to establish relationships based on jealousy, dependence or suffering. Just because a person is in love does not mean that a relationship has a future. There are many other factors why you may decide to walk away and no longer be involved in that story.
2. True happiness is experienced as a couple
It is another belief that derives from romantic love. This seems to show the ideal of a couple that is perfectly united and fully reciprocated. From that perspective, Happiness seems fuller when enjoyed in the company of someone special. However, joy is integrated into many other personal relationships: family, friendship, companionship… And it can also be enjoyed in moments of solitude.
The image of romantic love is represented in two people who experience a high level of connection. And this connection is maintained permanently, even in the face of adversity. They share so many aspects in common that they can be understood with a single look. Well, the reality of human communication is very different in practice. Even when two people like each other and share commonalities, they are not identical.
Your identity, your way of being or your values do not change. In fact, freedom, naturalness and authenticity are essential in a stable relationship. Two people who love each other with emotional intelligence do not become one, but rather they complement and accompany each other (if the overall balance of that bond is objectively good).
4. A person transforms if they are in love
The reasons why a person decides to change habits or routines are internal. He has reflected on the reasons for the change. He has come to the conclusion that he wants to commit to this process long term. Believing that someone changes for the better solely because they have fallen in love is a myth of romantic love. Each human being is responsible for their behaviors, their successes and the consequences that their decisions produce.
But what happens when someone is waiting to observe a great change in the other? The wait may last much longer than necessary if your expectations are conditioned by the influence of romantic love. If you believe that her feelings have such strength that they can transform the other person’s destiny, you fall into the plot of idealization. The truth is that no one should place that level of self-demand on themselves.
Suffering can be caused by different reasons in adulthood. Suffering seems to have a positive purpose from an idealized perspective. For example, it refers to the importance of fighting for the person you love to overcome any obstacle. Well, romantic love becomes a source of unnecessary suffering in relationships, as shown by jealousy, dependency, fear of loneliness or the search for approval.
6. Love as a couple is more important than any other bond
Romantic love connects with the search for a great story. A story that becomes the most relevant. But throughout our entire existence it is possible to live other special experiences in the sentimental sphere. The myth leads to the idea of finding a soul mate who becomes the center of the lover’s personal universe. Her world revolves around that bond that comes to displace other important spheres of life such as, for example, plans with friends.
7. Falling in love lasts forever
Falling in love is a phase that tends to be remembered in a special way due to its intensity. It doesn’t last forever because the relationship evolves and changes. In the stage of falling in love, some defects and other people’s mistakes can go unnoticed. Consequently, the necessary conditions have not been created for each one to truly know the other. They need more time to know if what they feel is gradually evolving towards a deeper love.
In short, the myths of romantic love do not connect with reality, but instead repeat stereotypes that produce unnecessary suffering.
