What Are The Psychological Problems Due To Avoidant Attachment?
The attachment we establish towards our fathers and mothers during childhood greatly influences how we live the first years of our lives and whether we are more or less happy at this stage of development. However, it not only affects us in this way: it also leaves a mark on the way we grow psychologically.
In fact, developing one attachment style or another can lead us to suffer various forms of discomfort in our lives as adults. In this article we are going to focus on the psychological problems that can appear if our personality has been consolidated on a basis of avoidant attachment
To understand what avoidant attachment is, it is first necessary to start from attachment theory, developed primarily by psychiatrist John Bowlby in the 70s and 80s This is one of the most important theories in the History of Developmental Psychology, and is based on the idea that the bond we establish with the main support figures in childhood (in practice, fathers and mothers) have a great influence in shaping our way of developing psychologically and consolidating one or another type of personality.
According to attachment theory, it is not possible to grow without developing a certain attachment style, for better or worse; In fact, even children who suffer neglectful treatment from their caregivers experience one. We must not forget that, in this case, Attachment is a psychological process that, although it involves more than one person, has its seat in the mind of the little one It does not have to be based on a balanced or reciprocated emotional bond.
Since in our childhood we learn about ourselves and the world based on what the adults who care for us offer us, knowing what to expect from them predisposes us to feel one way or another when we interact with the environment. Knowing that we have the physical and emotional support of a father or mother is not the same as seeing how they only provide us with the essential physical resources to survive in the short term.
According to attachment theory, This first set of experiences and expectations associated with our relationship with these protection figures will mark the way in which we treat the rest of the relationships that we establish for the rest of our lives.
Thus, avoidant attachment is one of the different attachment styles that we can develop from our childhood. This is characterized by the fact that the boys and girls who develop it treat the caregiver in a similar way to how they treat other people, without expressing satisfaction in its presence or actively seeking it.
These are children who explore their environment little regardless of whether or not they are with the protection figure, and who avoid or ignore interaction with the father, mother or legal guardian. It usually occurs in parenting models in which little attention is paid to the boy or girl beyond ensuring their survival.
Main problems associated with avoidant attachment
As attachment styles have a great influence on how personality develops, the way in which it is expressed through specific actions can vary. However, it is possible to find general behavioral patterns associated with one or another attachment style, and that each person will externalize in a characteristic way depending on the environment in which they live.
In the case of problems linked to avoidant attachment and its consequences in adulthood, the following are worth highlighting.
1. Difficulties in creating emotional bonds based on commitment
Many adults who have developed an avoidant attachment style have problems maintaining relationships since they attach great importance to their own independence and do not like the idea of ​​sacrificing part of it to meet a series of commitments.
2. Lack of support derived from little social support
Because of their lifestyle based on personal autonomy, many people who have grown up with avoidant attachment retain few friends as they move into adulthood, and may reach a point where they find themselves in unbearable loneliness. desired for the fact of not having properly cultivated her friendships. This causes them to adopt habits linked to social isolation, unhealthy physically and mentally
3. Problems due to excessive shyness
In people in whom the avoidant attachment has been consolidated in its anxious-avoidant version, It is easy for problems to arise due to fear of showing one’s own vulnerabilities to others These people often feel uncomfortable noticing how someone they don’t know wants to interact with them.
4. Frustration at seeing yourself in roles of caring for others
Aspects such as serving as an example for younger siblings or having to take care of people in vulnerable situations make These people feel more frustrated than average
You may be interested: “What is frustration and how does it affect our lives?”
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