We understand abuse against men as any form of violence, whether physical or psychological, that directly affects the integrity of the man and causes some material, physical or moral damage in his life. This involves carrying out deliberate actions aimed at harming a man’s physical or mental health.
Generally, it is understood that women are statistically more susceptible to suffering cases of abuse by their partners at some point in their lives; Less known are the cases in which it is the man who suffers abuse. However, unfortunately, this type of violent dynamics directed towards men is far from being a rarity, as we will see. What happens is that this social problem is less visible, even giving rise to the idea that it is crazy to imagine that a man can be subjected to a process of continuous abuse within relationships.
Abuse against men in the domestic sphere is usually carried out mostly by their partners regardless of their economic, social, ethnic or sexual orientation, although it can also occur by a close family member.
However, Beyond the quantitative, the abuse suffered by men presents certain qualitative differences regarding abuse against women. Among them, the phenomenon that many men remain in harmful relationships in which they are being mistreated not because they are afraid of physical attacks or do not know how to physically separate themselves from those who attack them, but because of other phenomena linked to gender. So, let’s see what causes many men to endure abuse.
According to a survey carried out in England and Wales in 2017, 6.7 million people have suffered domestic violence throughout their lives in that country and 15% of men between 16 and 59 years old are men.
As is the case with abuse against women, there are many forms of abuse against men, various forms of violence that They progressively undermine the physical and mental health of the victim
These are the main types of violence against men that have been studied by psychologists, sociologists and health professionals alike; dynamics of violence that can occur separately or in an interrelated manner, and that women can also experience.
1. Physical or psychological abuse
Physical and psychological abuse is the most common form of domestic abuse and in England 14% of men in the country have suffered from it since the age of 16, while more than 700,000 men between 16 and 59 years old acknowledge having suffered at least once during the last year.
Physical abuse is the most obvious and the one that can be detected most quickly due to the physical marks it leaves; However, psychological abuse can cause more damage to the person and last longer as long as it is not detected.
2. Domestic harassment
Domestic harassment can be perpetuated by the victim’s partner or by a family member and consists of systematically receive threatening email or text messages, calls or unpleasant treatment at home
This face-to-face treatment can consist of disrespect, serious threats or attempted aggression, which causes discomfort, fear and suffering in the victim. This type of abuse has been experienced by 0.7 of men in England and Wales in the last year according to the 2017 survey.
3. Digital abuse
The Anglo-Saxon term “Digital Dating Abuse” refers to any form of violence exercised between members of a couple in the online environment, that is, from instant messaging, social networks or any other internet platform.
According to a recent investigation, about 28% of American minors between 12 and 17 years old have suffered this type of digital abuse in the last year by their partners and among men it is more frequent than among women, since the incidence in the former rises to 32%.
Some of the ways in which digital abuse manifests itself may be digital harassment or cyberbullying and this phenomenon is strongly related to the occurrence of real physical abuse outside of social networks
4. Vicarious violence
Vicarious violence is that which is exercised not against the person, but against your loved ones, especially your sons or daughters
This type of violence is also carried out to a large extent against men, and currently there is still no conclusive data on its incidence on the male gender.
What predisposes men to endure abuse without ending the relationship?
These are the main causes that lead many men to stay in toxic relationships and endure abuse for weeks, months or even years.
1. The stigma of expressing emotions
The concept of masculinity is linked to the idea that expressing how we feel is morally reprehensible if we are men This is not in itself a cause of abuse and, of course, does not justify it, but it makes men feel more helpless when it comes to reacting when they are being abused; For example, many times they do not even consider saying that certain patterns of behavior that constitute psychological abuse make them feel bad, so the other person has no reason to reflect on their actions and regret them.
The belief that men are stronger and the stigma associated with suffering violence as a man make it more difficult for victims to report the abuse they suffer, for fear of what your surroundings will say and for the shame that being a victim of such attacks can cause them “without having the resources” to protect themselves from them.
3. The lack of references
Finally, the lack of male references among known people who break up toxic relationships of this type It makes many men feel very disoriented and don’t know what to do when they suffer abuse in a relationship.
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