I tell you that I love you, but I never make space for you in my life. I will write to you that I want to see you, but I will never make a date. I will conquer you and, when I know that I have you in the palm of my hand, I will leave… And I will return again and again as long as you accept me.
That would possibly be the speech of a person who does breadcrumbing if he were really honest. Have you experienced a situation like this? In the following lines we will explain what this phenomenon is about and how you can free yourself from falling into its networks.
What is breadcrumbing?
Have you found yourself in a situation where someone sends you sporadic messages, shows interest at times, then disappears? This could be breadcrumbing, a form of behavior that keeps you hooked on crumbs of attention.
Breadcrumbing is a form of emotional manipulation that is characterized by a lack of consistency and commitment in a relationship. The breadcrumber gives you small doses of attention or affection to keep you interested, but never offers you any real, meaningful commitment.
This can be very confusing and frustrating, as it creates false expectations and makes you feel like you are rolling down a road without knowing where you are going. One day you feel love and connection, the next you feel neglect and confusion.
It is important to recognize that breadcrumbing is not healthy for any of the parties involved. If you find yourself in this situation, it is best to talk to the person and express how you feel. If she’s not willing to change her behavior, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.
The detail is: How do you know if you find yourself in a situation with these characteristics? You will find out in the next lines.
Signs of breadcrumbing
Below, we will show you some signs that you could be a victim of this type of emotional abuse:
Intermittent communication
Lack of commitment
Surface ratio
Constant confusion
empty words
- The promises he makes do not materialize into tangible facts.
- They fill you with promises that they never keep, which generates distrust and frustration.
- They make you feel like they’re just telling you what you want to hear to keep you interested.
Lack of reciprocity
- You try hard to maintain communication and connection, but the other person doesn’t respond at the same level.
- You feel that you are the one who always takes the initiative to keep the relationship alive.
- You do not receive the same level of attention, affection or interest that you offer.
Secrecy
- They are secretive about their personal lives, as if they have something to hide.
- They don’t share important details or evade you when you try to delve deeper into their life.
- You feel that there is no transparency or trust in the relationship.
emotional upset
- After interacting with this person, you feel bad about yourself, insecure, or confused.
- You experience emotional ups and downs due to the inconsistency of their behavior.
- The relationship generates more doubts and uncertainty than peace of mind and satisfaction.
Keys to act against breadcrumbing
If you have identified signs of breadcrumbing in your relationship, It’s time to take action to protect your emotional well-being and build healthier relationships.
1. Observe from the outside
Analyze the situation as if you were an objective spectator. What advice would you give to a friend or family member who is in the same situation as you? Would you allow him to settle for crumbs of affection?
2. Recognize your rights
You deserve a relationship where you feel respected, valued and genuinely loved. Reflect on what your ideal relationship would be like and compare it with your current reality. If there is a big gap, it’s time to act.
3. Prioritize your well-being
Open communication: Talk honestly about your emotions and expectations. Ask directly what the other person expects from the relationship.
Clear limits: Set clear boundaries and communicate what you are willing to tolerate. Don’t be afraid to distance yourself if you don’t get what you need.
Strong self-esteem: Recognize your value and honor your desires. You deserve a relationship that makes you feel fulfilled and happy, in which there is reciprocity.
4. Move towards a healthy relationship
If breadcrumbing persists and there is no genuine commitment, evaluate whether the relationship gives you what you are looking for. If not, consider moving on and opening yourself up to new opportunities that give you the love and respect you deserve.
If you have discovered that you are in a situation where someone is manipulating you with breadcrumbing, don’t blame yourself! Identifying these practices is often a challenge, because the people who apply them are experts at camouflaging their intentions. Be grateful for realizing it in time and start taking action. In any case, keep in mind that vreadcrumbing can cause significant damage to self-esteem, and in some cases it is advisable to go to psychotherapy.
Are you looking for psychological assistance? If you are interested in starting an online psychotherapy process, count on Psychologist Plus. On this digital platform you can find the therapist that best suits your needs depending on the characteristics of your problem.