There are many of us who were raised under this system of punishing emotional beliefs. being conditioned from a very early age to feel emotionally bad under certain conditions.
When someone gives us a message in order to make us feel like “bad people” for having done or said something “inappropriate,” we immediately respond with a feeling of discomfort and punishment.
This is mainly because our mind responds automatically based on what it learned during childhood.
Some of the psychological guilt systems that we use in our lives are the following.
1. Residual guilt
Residual guilt is that learned during our childhood since parents often use it daily to manipulate us with reproaches such as: “I won’t love you if you do that again” or “You should feel ashamed of that attitude.” These phrases can echo in our adult self in figures such as bosses or paternal images; they can also be evident in our relationships, where past reproaches come to light. This feeling of guilt is reflected in our persistent attempt to gain the approval of these figures.
2. Self-imposed guilt
Self-imposed guilt is not necessarily connected to our childhood. Here people feel immobilized by issues experienced during adulthood, self-imposed guilt caused by not following “Adult Behavior” or the “Adult Moral Code.” The person may feel bad emotionally for a long time, even though the pain of guilt cannot do anything to change the situation. These are reflected in our arguments with someone, or when we engage in behavior that is contrary to that of others.
Examining the concern
Let’s remember that worry is a feeling that immobilizes you in the present for something that has not yet happened. and just as its word pre (before) occupation says, it means before some occupation, so we must focus our attitude on dealing with adversities before worrying. It is important not to mistake making plans for falling into thoughts of fear and anxiety.
Again, it all starts with the erroneous idea that worry is closely related to love and importance to others. This can be evidenced in phrases like: “I worry because I love you” or “You should worry about your future.” But worry has no relationship with love and importance, since this emotion only causes anxiety and suffering in our lives.
Releasing our negative emotions
To leave behind negative emotions such as guilt and worry, we must commit to living our present moment. Learning to live in the now helps us not waste our moments with neurotic thoughts. and to be able to see life in a more constructive and rational way.
Now that you have a better understanding of the psychological system behind these negative emotions, you will be able to work better with your emotions in pursuit of personal development that is less manipulable and more committed to your own happiness.
