He pocketing In a couple, also known as a pocket relationship, it occurs when one of the members of the couple tries to hide the other person from their social circle or social networks so that no one finds out about the relationship. This type of situation has become one of the main causes of breakdowns in relationships. In these cases, it is common for one of the parties to want to shout their love from the rooftops, while the other will do everything possible to hide the reality by resorting to justifications that are not always truthful.
In this PsychologyFor article we will explain what is the pocketing in a couple and how to detect it. This way, you will be able to better recognize the signs to understand if you find yourself in this type of situation.
What is pocketing as a couple?
The term pocketing comes from the English word pocketswhich means “pocket” and is used in the context of romantic relationships to describe when someone keeps their partner hidden or apart of their social environment. This may mean that the person does not introduce their partner to their friends or family, avoids mentioning them in conversations, or does not include them in social activities.
This situation can occur for different reasons. For example, someone may do it unconsciously out of shame and insecurity, or because they want to keep options open with other people or to avoid conflicts or criticism from their environment.
However, the pocketing in love can generate feelings of exclusion, rejection, jealousy and insecurity for the member of the relationship who is being hidden, so it is not considered a healthy or beneficial practice to maintain open and sincere communication in love. In this article we explain how to have a healthy open relationship.
How to detect pocketing as a couple
There are several obvious signs that a person is doing you pocketing in the relationship. For example, he will avoid visiting public places with you at all costs and will never make plans that involve being in your company in places where he could bump into someone he knows. Other signs of this behavior may be:
- He will never talk to you about his friends or family because they are not interested in you having contact with them.
- Will try any way do not upload content to social networks where it appears next to you.
- Will look for a thousand excuses to Don’t introduce yourself to your friends
- He will never tell you about his past
- He is not going to introduce you as his partner and He will not talk about you with the people in his close circle such as family, friends or co-workers.
In addition, he will never invite you to his house, the meetings will be in secret places or where he knows that he will not meet anyone he knows and he will always have an excuse to leave you alone and not spend extra time with you.
Why does pocketing occur as a couple?
In the best of cases, the pocketing It occurs in the couple because there is an unresolved privacy problem or low self-esteem. However, most experts in this area, such as psychologist and PhD in relationships Callisto Adams, assure that this behavior is not a good sign and may be due to other reasons such as:
- Your partner is married or has children and you are just a passing adventure in their life.
- His family embarrasses him and does not want you to have any type of contact with them.
- There is a religious barrier social or cultural that prevents you from approaching your social circle for fear of being rejected.
- You have doubts about your sexual orientation
- You are trying to obtain a material benefit from someone and, although he may not want to lose you, he also does not want to lose the material goods that the other person provides him.
In some cases, you may also not want to make your relationship public because you have fear to fail or because he needs to keep you hidden from his ex-partner to avoid conflicts. In any case, the pocketing In a couple, it can cause feelings of discomfort when you feel that you do not deserve love or that you are not good enough for your partner to show you off.
How to act if your partner makes you pocket
There is no magic formula for this type of behavior because each relationship is different. However, if you find yourself in this situation, the first step will be keep calm to evaluate the situation in its entire context. The main goal is to reach an agreement that both parties feel good about.
Below we leave you some recommendations that you can follow if your partner makes you pocketing:
- Reflect on your feelings: Before broaching the topic with your partner, take some time to evaluate how you feel about it. Does it make you feel uncomfortable, excluded or undervalued? There is nothing better than understanding your emotions to express yourself clearly and assertively.
- Start an open and honest conversation: Choose a suitable, calm time to talk to your partner about your concerns. At this time, express your feelings calmly and avoid accusations or confrontations. Use “I” instead of “you” to focus on your emotions and personal experiences.
- Share your expectations: Explain to your partner why it is important for you to be included in their social life. Communicate your needs to feel valued, respected and to be an integral part of their life. The idea is that you let him know that transparency and open communication are essential for you in the relationship.
- Actively listen to their perspective– Allow your partner to express their thoughts and feelings about the situation. Try to understand their motivations or concerns behind the pocketing and don’t forget that two-way communication is essential to understanding the big picture and reaching a solution.
- Seek professional help if necessary: If the situation persists or generates recurring conflicts in the relationship, it may be useful to seek the help of a couples therapist. A trained professional can provide guidance and tools to address communication issues and build a healthier relationship.
Remember that The foundation of a strong relationship is trust, open communication and mutual respect. If your partner continues to hide or ignore your emotional needs from you, it’s important to consider whether that relationship is truly healthy for you in the long term.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What is pocketing as a couple and how to detect it we recommend that you enter our Feelings category.
Bibliography
- Hurtarte, CA, & DÃaz-Loving, R. (2008). Communication and satisfaction: analyzing couple interaction. Ibero-American Psychology, 16(1), 23-27.
- Quiroga Quiroga, LL (2021). Sexuality and Communication in Couples.
- Polaino-Lorente, A., & MartÃnez Cano, P. (2002). Communication in a couple: most frequent psychological errors. Madrid: Rialp, 2002.