What Is The Relationship Between Self-demand And Anxiety?
Self-demand is defined as an attitude of demanding oneself, of always wanting to improve and achieve new goals; This can be adaptive, but when it increases excessively it can lead to the appearance of an anxiety state or disorder.
A person with a high degree of self-demand will show low self-esteem Always focused on achieving unattainable goals that generate frustration, you will constantly perceive the negative aspects, with a high degree of self-criticism and without the ability to delegate responsibility or say no. All of these traits cause different alterations to occur in it, such as the presence of anxiety.
In order to reduce discomfort and make it more adaptive and functional, it would be advisable to train different skills and abilities, working on irrational and negative beliefs, teaching the patient to relate appropriately with others and with themselves so that they know and understand themselves. Spend more time, with the purpose of reducing your anxiety and being happier.
In this article we will focus on How anxiety and self-demand are related and what problems they can cause.
Anxiety is defined as a combination or set of emotions that arise due to the possibility of future danger, that is, it appears without an external stimulus that provokes it, the subject anticipates the possible negative consequence that may occur.
This emotional state is made up of a triple response system: the subjective, referring to the cognitive part; the physiological part, which would be the somatic and motor part, referring to the behavioral part, although the cognitive component is the one that stands out the most as a response.
On different occasions, the term most used to compare anxiety and thus better understand its characteristics is fear. In the case of anxiety, the response given is more diffuse and, as we have pointed out, there is no external stimulus that causes such a reaction, but rather it is an anticipation of possible danger in the future. On the other hand, fear is a reaction where biological and automatic components are activated to a greater extent, occurring when danger is present, at the current moment.
Anxiety Won’t Always Cause Problems ; It is common for it to appear in situations that we feel respectful about, such as before taking an exam. The problem will occur when it does not decrease and continues to occur, which may even lead to the appearance of an anxiety disorder.
In reference to self-demand, this is defined, as the term indicates, as an attitude of demand and criticism of oneself. This attitude can be positive if we know how to control and regulate it since it drives us to grow and continue improving as people. Although it is also true that when this self-demand is excessive it can have a serious impact on the person, affecting their mental health and can generate pathological symptoms typical of disorders such as depression, anxiety or stress.
How self-demand and anxiety are related
In the previous section, when we defined self-demand, we pointed out that this attitude towards oneself can be beneficial, making us improve and guiding us to achieve the intended objectives. But when this exceeds adequate levels, alterations may appear, which can lead to serious disorders.
When self-demand begins to be pathological or negative, we detect characteristics such as set unattainable goals which he understands as obligations, a very rigid mentality and only focused on achieving the desired goals, they like to be recognized for their work, it is difficult for them to delegate tasks and their own conception of themselves will depend on achieving the intended results, they have a low tolerance for frustration with high self-criticism, always focusing on the negative aspects and fear of failure.
In the same way, it is also characteristic that very self-demanding people present dichotomous thoughts, this means that for them everything is good or bad, black or white, there is no gray in between. Likewise, related to thinking, this is focused on results, they do not value or take into account the process to reach them.
All these typical characteristics maintained in the long term have negative consequences or effects on the person who presents them, since will enter a loop where nothing will ever be enough, always demanding more. Thus, it is common for the self-esteem of these individuals to be altered and to depend only on the successes achieved, nor will it benefit their self-esteem if their thinking focuses only on negative things, always analyzing and evaluating what has not gone well, in what has failed.
On the other hand, it is common for him to want to cover more than he can, always saying yes to everything that is asked of him, since, as we said, he wants to feel good, valued by others. Likewise, it will be typical to show somatic conditions, pain in different parts of the body such as the muscles or the head given the accumulated tension and pressure.
Given the characteristic and habitual traits shown by individuals with a high degree of self-demand, if this is maintained over time it can lead to alterations in the subject’s psychological state, especially in their mood. If we keep in mind the definition of anxiety that we have described in the first section, we see that this discomfort and anticipation of negative consequences also occur in self-demanding people.
It is for this reason, because the two terms show similar features, that it will be common for people with high self-demand to also present symptoms and may even be diagnosed with a anxiety disorder.
The subject will enter a vicious circle of more self-demand and, therefore, more anxiety, it will never be enough, he will always want more, but paradoxically this constant thought of always giving more of oneself on many occasions will not allow us to act, it paralyzes us and this leads to Therefore, a greater feeling of anxiety because we see that we are not making progress and that we are moving away from our goals.
How to control self-demand and reduce anxiety
There are many factors that influence our degree of self-demand, it is true that there is a predisposition of the person to present a greater or lesser degree of this, but the society in which we live also produces effects that always ask more of us, It is a constant of achieving results and having successes and this obviously does not help at all to be able to control our demands and it is common that it leads to anxiety disorders.
For this reason, it will be important to treat it as soon as possible and try to control this psychological trait so that it has the least possible impact on the subject’s health. Asking for help is the first step and it is very important, since we are recognizing that there is something that makes us uncomfortable and we want to change, this being a fundamental point so that improvement can occur.
Currently, the most used type of therapy and that normally shows greater effectiveness in different disorders, anxiety being one of them, is cognitive-behavioral therapy, which, as its name indicates, uses cognitive techniques to modify and regulate beliefs. maladaptive and negative symptoms that the patient has and behavioral techniques to improve the behavior of the subjects and make them feel more functional and better about themselves.
The therapist accompanies and teaches patients tools so that they can face the situation favorably and improve their quality of life. Thus, working on the subject’s self-esteem, proposing a new focus and a new way of valuing it without successes or results being the only ones that influence it and learning to know their limits and strengths to reinforce them and know that they can demand themselves realistic way.
Through cognitive techniques, it will also be possible to work on the maladaptive thoughts and beliefs that these subjects have, trying to make them more flexible and not so catastrophic and negative regarding oneself. In the same way the person will be trained to learn to self-evaluate positively and to self-reinforce yourself, being aware of the good aspects you have and thus being able to reward yourself for them.
In the social or relational sphere we can work to make them more assertive, know how to defend their rights and be able to say no without thus thinking that they are disappointing others. On the other hand, as we already mentioned, it is common for them not to delegate work and end up doing it all themselves, so to reduce the overload of work it will be necessary for them to trust others and delegate responsibilities, know how to do it correctly, know how to direct, what’s more functional even than doing everything yourself.
Finally It is essential to dedicate time to yourself, that we listen to ourselves, that we know our thoughts, how we feel, since in this way we can organize them and act preventively if we see that something is not going as it should. In this way, take time during the day to relax, to disconnect from work and to do the things that really make you happy and make you feel good, live in the present.
