What Is The Savior Complex? 8 Signs That Indicate That You Are Trying To Save Others

Many times we worry so much about others that we forget that the most important person, and also the only one, who will be safe until the last of our days is ourselves. This type of behavior may be due to the so-called “savior complex.” We must keep in mind that to help others, we must also be well. This means listening to each other, respecting each other and, above all, taking care of each other. So how can we detect if we have a savior complex and what to do about it?

What is the savior complex?

It is understandable that in adverse situations, you want to help someone who is in trouble or requires your support. But, if in the event that this person does not want your help, it is important to respect this decision. When someone has or feels this need to ‘save’ others, they may suffer from what is known as complex or savior syndrome People who have these attitudes must learn to stop trying to help others when this ends up damaging their own mental health and their relationships with others.

How do you know if someone has a savior ‘syndrome’?

People who have this savior complex They are usually characterized by the following attitudes:

1. You only feel good when you help someone: People with this syndrome often seek to help others to fill a void they feel. In fact, in reality, on many occasions they want to give this help to feel better about themselves.
2. You believe that helping others is your purpose: Although helping others may be a valid goal for your life, when this ends up harming you and those around you, it may be a sign that there is this complex behind it.
3. You are attracted to vulnerability: You like people to be vulnerable. That is, you feel more attracted to those people who have had many problems in their lives. This may be because you yourself have experienced pain and anguish and feel a lot of empathy for those who have suffered as well.
4. You try to change people: The people with the savior syndrome They often have the belief that they are capable of impacting others. In fact, they tend to believe that you know what is best for those you intend to help. But, these types of attitudes can end this relationship because a person must want to change for it to happen.
5. You always want to find a solution: Not all problems have an immediate solution. Typically, people with a savior complex They usually want to fix everything, even though they cannot offer a good solution to the problem. Although giving advice is not necessarily bad, the reality is that sometimes it is better to listen to those who are in an adverse situation.
6. You make too many sacrifices for others: A person with a savior complex may be able to sacrifice personal needs to care for people who don’t really want their help.
7. You think you’re the only one who can help: When someone has this savior syndrome They often feel these impulses to help others, since they believe that no one else is capable of doing so. This belief can also imply a sense of superiority, although in many cases they are not aware of it.
8. You help for the wrong reasons: With this tendency to save others, you believe you are doing the “right thing.” That is, you try to “save” others because you feel you must do so even if it harms you.

How can it affect you?

Trying to rescue a person who does not want your help usually does not have the desired result. In reality, these saving tendencies can also have a negative impact on you, and even cause the following:

• Exhaustion: Using a lot of your time and energy to help others ends up taking a toll on yourself.
• Interrupted relationships: If you think that a friend or partner needs changes to improve and you start a relationship with them with the intention of ‘fixing’ them, it is possible that your relationship will not be successful.
• A feeling of failure: Trying to change a person will never work. In fact, no one is capable of solving other people’s problems, in the vast majority of cases. Failure to do so can lead to chronic feelings of self-criticism, inadequacy, guilt and frustration.
• Mood changes: A permanent feeling of failure can lead people to have many unpleasant emotional experiences, such as sadness, resentment, frustration or a feeling of losing control.

How to stop this behavior?

If you identify with these saving tendencies, it is important that you keep the following in mind:

• Listen instead of act: If you have a tendency to act instead of listening to others, you should focus on improving your active listening skills. In fact, being attentive to the feelings and emotions of others is already very helpful.
• Help in a less intrusive way: It is best not to intervene until someone explicitly asks for help. Even so, you can always offer your help, but in a way that is not forced or intrusive to others.
• Get to know yourself more: In some cases, people may try to help others because they don’t know how to address their own trauma or emotional pain. This way, you should try to take more time to identify what you really need to solve these problems.
• Go to therapy: Talking to a therapist can help you identify and control what’s driving your behavior.

He savior complex It is an attitude that can end up making you distance yourself from your own problems and needs. That is, you will try to ‘save’ others before yourself.