Abuse and domestic violence wreak havoc on the person attacked both physically and mentally, whether woman or man. But violence does not only affect the members of the couple.
When there are children involved, they suffer both from observing the abuse of their loved ones and, in many cases, from direct or indirect violence applied against them. Some of them are even physically or psychologically attacked with the purpose of harming the other component of the relationship. What these children are suffering is called vicarious violence
The vicarious concept refers to the substitution or replacement of one individual by another in the exercise of a function or in the experience of a situation. An easy to understand example can be seen in vicarious learning, in which we learn from observing the actions carried out by other people and their consequences.
Once the concept is understood, it is understood that vicarious violence will be defined as situations in which some type of aggression is going to be carried out on a person or in substitution of another, which would be the true objective, or collaterally. The motivation is usually associated with revenge.
In practice, this occurs especially in the family context, and that is why it is generally considered a form of domestic violence. The cases of those who harm their sons or daughters to harm an ex are especially serious, a phenomenon that has even given rise to scandals such as the murder of boys or girls at the hands of their father or mother.
On the other hand, The erroneous belief that vicarious violence is a form of sexist violence is widespread or that it is only carried out by men who harm their son or daughter to harm the mother. This is not the case: by definition, vicarious violence does not involve gender, beyond the fact that statistically it may have greater representation in one sector of the population or another.
It is clear that gender violence is one of the scourges that remains in force in today’s society, but it is not entirely clear that parents are the main perpetrators when it comes to attacking their children with this vengeful purpose; There is a lack of information in this regard, and taking into account that the people who spend most of their time with their children tend to be women, vicarious violence could be more present in both men and women; Neither hypothesis is far-fetched.
Vicarious violence: what it is and why it is carried out
Vicarious violence is a type of domestic violence that includes all behavior carried out consciously to cause harm to another person, carried out secondary to the main one. Said violence is normally a form of child abuse that can range from the visualization and witnessing by the minor of attacks by one of her relatives on another or from suffering direct attacks as a method to cause harm.
In many cases the son or daughter is used instrumentally with the aim of harming the real target of the violence, the couple. The individual who practices abuse takes advantage of the fragility of minors, violating and undermining their physical or psychological integrity in order to psychologically harm their partner, awakening in them suffering, pain and a feeling of guilt for not being able to defend the people most loved by them. the victim.
Vicarious violence or the threat of it is also used as a mechanism of coercion and control towards the adult victim: given the knowledge of what the aggressor is capable of, the spouse or minor is forced to give in to the claims and desires of the other and also due to the fear that the minors will be attacked, the adult victim has fewer options to report, seek help or do something that puts them at risk.
This type of domestic violence can occur in multiple ways, both at the level of psychological abuse, deprivation of basic needs, physical abuse and even sexual abuse. In some cases this type of violence can lead to the death of the minor whether in the form of homicide or premeditated murder.
Aggressor profile
Although the trigger for attacks can be very different depending on the case, In many cases, behind vicarious violence can be found a deep sense of inferiority and lack of self-worth, which generate frustration in the abuser that is aggressively discharged through violence on others. As with other forms of domestic violence, it is believed that it usually involves men between twenty and fifty years of age, although there are also cases in which the aggressor is a woman.
For the most part, the aggressor tends to seek dominance and the exercise of power through the submission of both his partner and the children, feeling like an authoritarian figure and enjoying obedience and control of the situation with which he tries to compensate. their insecurities. Sometimes violent behavior can be aggravated or triggered during states of intoxication or alterations of consciousness.
Suffering from this type of violence will generate a series of physical and psychological effects on the minor that will deeply mark the vast majority of vital areas, causing a series of serious damages in their development.
Firstly, one of the most immediate effects can be observed when the abuse occurs on a physical level. The attacks that the minor may suffer can lead to severe injuries that may require hospitalization and may even lead to disability (depending on the areas that are injured) or even death.
On a psychological level, self-esteem and self-concept can be severely damaged. As a general rule, a deterioration in the ability to pay attention and concentration, a drop in academic performance and a high level of demotivation are observed. The appearance of post-traumatic stress disorders is common, reminiscent of attacks, avoidance of situations that are reminiscent of abuse, and a high level of physiological activation. It is not strange that anxiety or mood disorders such as depression also appear. Fear and anhedonia are common symptoms that can even warn the social environment that the minor is suffering some type of abuse. Suicide attempts at some point in the life cycle, including childhood, are not unusual.
On an emotional level The acquisition of social skills, the emergence of empathy and self-control problems are greatly hindered In this way, the appearance in the future of different psychotic disorders or antisocial, aggressive and psychopathic behaviors is also encouraged.
At a social level, these minors tend to develop attitudes of great distrust in their interpersonal relationships, making the emotional bond with third parties more complex. All of this results from the violation and abuse to which they have been subjected, especially aggravated by the fact that the aggressor is a significant and close figure. The fact that there is an emotional connection makes it more complicated for them to report or take other types of actions. It is also possible that the abuse visualized or suffered is dissociated from the rest of the experience, maintaining a relatively normal social life outside the home as a compensation mechanism. It is not uncommon for overprotective attitudes to develop with the most significant people in order to prevent them from suffering the same condition as them.
Finally, the vicarious violence to which they have been subjected can cause the affected minors to acquire the behavior patterns that they have been able to observe, generating vicarious learning from the situation in which in the long run they can replicate the abuse when they are accustomed to them and consider violence in the family and couple as normal behavior.
Treatment
The treatment of this phenomenon must be approached from a multidisciplinary perspective, in which social, health, educational, administrative and judicial services work together. For this purpose, several action protocols have been carried out in cases of child abuse in the family environment.
Current legislation must guarantee the right to the provision of healthcare services to minors who suffer or witness abuse that address the needs derived from the situation of violence, being in both cases a victim of domestic violence and requiring the prevention of new situations that may cause physical or psychological harm. In this aspect, the detection and reporting of cases of abuse is essential, which is why different observation protocols have been established in institutions such as hospitals and schools.
At a psychological level, it is necessary to work psychologically with victims of attacks, both with affected minors and adults, regardless of whether they have witnessed or suffered attacks. The need to give an explanation to the situation will produce deep frustration that they must be able to express, and it will also be necessary to work with the cognitions and emotions caused by the mistreatment.
Collaborate in the processing of the situation suffered, favor and promote a realistic self-concept, avoid behavioral avoidance and eliminate typical self-blame of a large number of victims are common therapeutic objectives, which must be undertaken by validating the sensations of the individuals and accepting them unconditionally.
With respect to the abuser, regardless of the legal consequences of their actions and the preventive measures imposed (such as the restraining order), various rehabilitation therapies have been created that aim to modify their abusive behaviors and improve frustration management, through behavior modification techniques and other cognitive and emotional techniques.
