What Makes It Difficult For A Person To Trust Others?
Human beings are social beings, which means that we need contact with other people to survive, satisfy our needs, fulfill ourselves at all levels and be happy throughout our lives. Now, to maintain this network of mutual support it is necessary, first of all, to be able to trust others, since without trust it is practically impossible to compromise and reach agreements.
For this reason, some people who find themselves incapable of trusting others have their quality of life greatly damaged, since they only have the purely formal aspects of support that the fact of having the citizenship of a country gives them and, in In any case, with the unconditional support of immediate family members; a type of help that in the vast majority of cases is insufficient to live well. But, if putting up barriers to not trust others brings problems… Why do some people fall into this type of dynamic?
In today’s article we will see in summary what are the main consequences of not daring to trust others, and what are the main reasons why many people have certain difficulties when trusting others
Trust is a highly studied aspect in the science of Psychology, and constitutes one of the most important elements in the flourishing and maintenance of interpersonal relationships; Not in vain, it is popularly said that trust costs a lot to gain and very little to lose. It can be defined as the psychological disposition to assume that one has the support of a person or group of people who will be able to act in a manner appropriate to needs if it reaches the point of requiring their support and who will respect the agreements established between both parties, in good faith.
When we do not dare to trust someone occasionally, we may be protecting ourselves from some real or imaginary threat, but in many cases it can also mean that we are closing ourselves off from interacting with someone who perhaps wants good for us.
In this way, we may be wasting an opportunity to collaborate jointly with someone with whom we could obtain a benefit while he or she also obtains it, thus achieving a hypothetical beneficial collaboration for both parties.
In the field of clinical psychology, those people who present more extreme cases of avoiding trusting someone at all costs and who never manage to trust someone in any area of their lives may present a phenomenon called “pistanthrophobia”
Pistanthrophobia is the irrational fear that prevents people from establishing an intimate and personal relationship with others, as well as from fully trusting other people on any topic. This very specific disorder is included within phobias, and like all of them, it is based on the feeling of exacerbated fear and also of threat that does not exist in real life.
People who suffer from pistanthrophobia usually have serious interpersonal relationship problems and usually have great difficulties relating normally with other people, both in the area of friendships and with their romantic or sexual interests.
Now, you don’t have to go to such extremes to suffer from problems trusting others. The most common consequences that this type of problem generates are the frustration of not being able to express what worries us and that belongs to our most intimate side or (putting into words what makes us feel bad is an important therapeutic resource); jealousy problems in relationships and/or friendships; recurring thoughts based on the fear of receiving criticism or suffering betrayal; and the frustration of having a love life full of unstable relationships.
Main causes why people find it difficult to trust others
Although each case is unique, a series of causes generally stand out when explaining problems trusting others.
1. Type of attachment
The type of attachment that is established in childhood with parents is one of the main elements that can cause a distrustful personality towards the world and the people around them in individuals.
Attachment is the emotional bond that we create as children with our parents, and develop an ambivalent or anxious type of attachment (based at all times on the lack of security with the parents and the belief that they will abandon us) usually results in children who do not trust their parents and who have a constant feeling of insecurity.
Another type of attachment that generates distrustful people in adulthood is avoidant attachment which is one in which the child develops the idea that he cannot count on his parents, which causes permanent suffering.
These people will be distrustful by nature as adults and will have great difficulty establishing normal relationships with other people in their environment.
2. Borderline personality disorder
Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that affects the person on a personal, emotional, social, family or work level.
People who suffer from this disorder have their self-image affected, that is, the way they see themselves, their thoughts and ideas about themselves and other people, and the way they relate to others.
This disorder is characterized by great suffering and little tolerance for the idea of being abandoned and due to a great difficulty in relating normally with other people, always establishing short-lasting and unstable relationships.
Borderline personality disorder is also related to great difficulty trusting other people, since those who suffer from it believe that others will always betray or abandon them.
3. Traumas
Traumatic experiences related to violence or episodes of great emotional impact on a person they can also end up generating a distrustful personality towards others.
Some of these traumas may be mistreatment in childhood and in the family environment, an episode of robbery with violence, a case of rape or sexual abuse or an experience experienced as traumatic that involves betrayal by someone very dear.
4. Shyness
Extreme shyness can be an obstacle when it comes to functioning correctly in society and constitutes one of the most common interaction problems that psychology professionals receive in their consultations on a daily basis
Furthermore, it is often the trigger for a distrustful personality with which a person has difficulty relating normally to their peers.
5. Social phobia
Social phobia manifests itself in people like an irrational fear or exacerbated anxiety when participating in social events where there are many people or strangers
People with social phobia have real problems relating to other people and experience symptoms of discomfort both physically and emotionally when they are in a place where there may be many people.
The origin of social phobia is the fear of being judged by others, as well as being ridiculed or rejected by the peer group.
6. Obsession with work
Obsession with work is also a common cause in people who are extremely distrustful of their environment.
This obsession with work can generate thoughts of distrust of others by assuming that they want to steal our business ideas or take advantage of us financially, which generates great discomfort and a need to isolate oneself and not trust anyone.
7. Very painful couple breakups
Breakups are episodes that can leave very deep consequences on the affected person, which can contribute to generating radical thoughts of discomfort, suffering or desolation.
These negative thoughts They tend to push the person to not believe in love to believe that you don’t have to trust anyone and to think that no one can ever love you.
8. Complexes
The complexes that carry over from childhood or adolescence, linked to low self-esteem and which are usually related to how we see our own body or our sexual identity, they can also end up generating feelings of distrust in the person. Generally, the idea that we are an “easy target” for people with bad faith around us makes us anticipate hostile intentions in those around us.
