What Prevents Infidelity From Appearing In A Relationship?
As much as our conception of what a healthy loving relationship is has improved in recent decades, that does not mean that love life is no longer full of imperfections. Infidelity is one of the most frequent, for example.
In fact, today it is estimated that The most common reason for divorce is extramarital affairs and it is not unusual for research to show that around 4% of people with a partner consulted claim to have been unfaithful in the last 12 months.
Taking this into account, What is it that causes infidelity to never occur in some couples? Let’s see it.
Theories about what makes a relationship stay strong
In a recent study published in the scientific journal The Journal of Sex Researcha team of researchers set out to detect which factors They prevent couples from falling into the temptation of infidelity
To do this, they tested the validity of a series of theories that try to explain the ways in which people with a partner behave in contexts in which, if they wanted to, they could have affairs of this type. These theories, which for years have tried to explain what is the glue that holds people together in romantic relationships, are the following.
Moral theory
For example, according to the morality-based theory, beliefs about what is good and bad in a relationship they would have a determining weight in the actions of those who are married or are not single. Of course, morality seems to have weight in love life, given that in practically all cultures relationships outside the couple are seen as something that speaks badly about the person who commits those acts.
On the other hand, economic theories propose that people who are in a romantic relationship they think rationally about costs and benefits What it means to be in a relationship with a specific person, with all the sacrifices and management of time and efforts that this entails.
It is assumed that all people who have been investing a long time in a relationship, or who believe that they can benefit a lot from continuing with the one they have recently started, will be less likely to have relationships outside of it, or at least will demand That other potential partners provide them with much more than the current one to make the infidelity worth it.
evolutionary theory
Evolutionary Psychology tends to emphasize the role that genetics and in general the heredity that passes from generation to generation influences the behavior of individuals, and in the case of the psychosexual context, normally these patterns of behavior are described in terms of differences between men and women. The reason is that, if we take into account the influence of evolution on sexual behavior then the fact of belonging to one sex or another has to influence the “starting point” from which each person judges a possible option of this type.
Normally, men are described as individuals who value quantity more than quality, while the opposite is true for women, and they would value more the possibility of being with a partner who provides stability and emotional commitment. The reason why Evolutionary Psychology has defended this idea is not based on the existence of stereotypes about differences between sexes, but from a genetic inheritance resulting from opportunities and costs which, by the way, would occur in many other species of living beings.
According to this perspective, females, having a limited number of eggs and having to be pregnant and therefore “vulnerable” for a long time, before conceiving need to ensure that they will have the collaboration of a couple committed to the task of helping to provide material goods necessary for the survival of the family, as well as protection.
Males, on the other hand, would have less reproductive value since biologically their commitment to creating a family is less, so their concerns would be more focused on ensuring that they are not raising the offspring of another individual (females, when forming embryos, have a much easier time knowing who is his offspring and who is not).
Thus, from the evolutionary perspective, men should be more likely to be unfaithful, while at the same time they would be more afraid of the possibility of their partner establishing direct sexual contact with other people, while women would be more worried about the possibility that their partner would establish direct sexual contact with other people. your partner connects emotionally with another person.
On the other hand, monogamy would be limiting both for one sex and the other, since in the case of men it reduces the variety of possible sexual partners to a minimum and, in the case of women, it prevents them from investing in other potential relationships that may be more worthwhile. The possibility of forming a fixed community around them, whether family or a substitute, would be an aspect that would contribute to the unity of these relationships once they have been formed.
Based on the previous explanations, the researchers created a 34-item questionnaire and administered it to 110 people between 24 and 60 years old, married for at least 2 years, with at least one son or daughter as a result of that relationship. The questions in this questionnaire referred to elements that, personally, each individual could value as aspects that would prevent infidelity on their part.
The results show that the aspects that most contribute to preventing infidelity from occurring They are the moral standards, the consequences that infidelity would have on the sons and daughters, the fear of being left alone, and the effects that deception would have on the other member of the couple.
Furthermore, the data obtained reflects, to a certain extent, that evolutionary ideas are fulfilled, but only in a very timid way. Men are somewhat more likely to commit infidelity, given that the well-being of children and moral aspects have greater weight for women.
