Getting a son or daughter to start respecting their parents is not always easy. Normally it is not a relational dynamic that appears spontaneously for the simple fact of maintaining a direct kinship relationship. In most cases, you have to work proactively to create this healthy bond between parents and children.
In this article we will see some key ideas to know what to do so that a child respects his parents Knowing how to resolve this type of conflict in the most constructive way possible and without aggravating the situation is essential.
My son does not respect me: what to do?
Each family and paternal or maternal bond with a boy or girl is different. Particular problems require particular solutions, thought out after sticking to the specific case. This makes many adults feel disoriented in many issues related to parenting, and managing authority in front of children is something that frequently causes headaches.
Specifically, there is a pattern that is repeated many times: I want to have a healthy and loving relationship with the little one in the house, but He doesn’t make it easy for me and breaks the rules …what to do if my son doesn’t respect me?
Fortunately, although each case is unique, there are general aspects that can guide us when it comes to managing the upbringing of children well. Below we will see some very useful tips to solve the type of parenting problems derived from the lack of respect for those who want the best for their children.
1. Establish lines that should not be crossed
It is important to be very clear about what types of behaviors are totally unacceptable and to differentiate them from others that are simply undesirable but have less importance. These ideas will be the main structure on which our management of the lack of respect of our son or daughter must be erected
It is very important, therefore, to establish from the beginning what is not going to be tolerated in any way and whose non-compliance will require compensatory actions on the part of the boy or girl. It is also crucial to act consistently and not show inconsistencies when applying these rules of respect. Weeks of work can fall apart if a few exceptions appear, since it clearly shows that in practice these red lines do not exist.
2. Listen to each other
Once the above is done, it is very important that you talk about the problem that exists. You should express your concerns and why you are upset when your son or daughter disrespects you, and he should have the opportunity to talk about needs of his that he believes are overlooked. This way It is possible to reach agreements that both parties value and, consequently, are not seen as an imposition.
3. When something is breached, demand compensatory behavior
This should not be seen as a way of getting revenge, and it is important that the minor does not perceive it that way either. Having talked about your point of view, it is easier to justify why you ask for compensation for the discomfort caused, but you still need to explain again why in this complete case it is necessary to make a sacrifice and rebuild mutual respect.
This compensation should always include an apology, and sometimes this will not be enough. Of course, physical punishment should not be considered an option Simply, they must be tasks that require an effort proportional to the damage caused, even if it is a symbolic compensation.
4. Enforce the rules immediately
When a rule is broken, It is important to demand compensatory behavior immediately , not waiting for a context in which it is more comfortable. In this way, the association between the violation and compensation is more direct and evident, and the experience is memorized as a whole.
5. Set an example
This is a point that many parents forget, because it puts them in a compromise. However, it is worth remembering that among the sacrifices involved in fatherhood and motherhood is that of setting an example. It is not only so that our children learn by imitation and do not cause us problems: in addition to that, it is the right of children to have references of appropriate behavior in their fathers or mothers, so that it is not difficult for them to adapt to society and coexistence with others
6. Avoid framing the restriction of freedoms as if it were a renunciation of pleasure
It is important to always show that family rules are indeed a limitation on individual freedom, but they are also a way to expand collective freedoms. Thanks to following reasonable rules, it is possible to have friends and allies, trust each other, and in general demonstrate the love you feel for each other.
Thus, complying with the rules is not a necessity because it deprives us of pleasant situations or because impersonal and cold treatment is desirable, but because in fact allows our relationships to be of better quality and, in general, that we enjoy life better in the company of others.
7. Show your humanity
Disrespect, no matter how much it comes from young children, hurts. It is good to show that discomfort so that your son or daughter also faces that part of the consequences that their behavior has had.