What To Do If My Son Tells Me That He Has Been Sexually Abused
Child sexual abuse It is among the most traumatic experiences that a minor can experience, and that is why both Psychology and health sciences in general have invested a lot of effort in investigating this phenomenon and developing tools to prevent it and evaluate it.
Among these resources, we find psychological tests that are applied in the context of forensic psychology, as well as strategies and behavioral guidelines that are disseminated so that parents know what to do if a son or daughter tells them that they have suffered sexual abuse. . Therefore, in this article we will talk about What caregivers should know and keep in mind when helping a child who has been abused and take the first steps in the judicial field to ensure their protection from that moment on.
Guidelines to apply if your son or daughter says he or she has suffered sexual abuse
Any boy or girl who finds themselves in this situation may feel helpless if they do not receive the necessary family and professional help. This becomes a challenge, because, as for their parents, they are often disoriented and not knowing what to do or where to go to care for their child.
From the field of clinical psychology, child sexual abuse is a widely studied topic and in which a series of action guidelines have been established that we must follow if our son or daughter tells us that someone has sexually abused him or her.
On the other hand, From forensic psychology, a series of psychological tests are made available to families that help demonstrate that the abuse has taken place where it has occurred, and also allows estimates to be made about how it has affected the mental health of the minor.
With the aim of providing a useful guide to know what to do in these dramatic cases, below we will review the keys to take into account if your son or daughter says that he or she has suffered sexual abuse.
A common mistake, although understandable, is to interrupt the minor due to the emotional reaction that this generates in parents, who may feel that at that moment they “lose control” and feel an expression of anger or even impulses. violent. To the extent possible, it is important Don’t let this reaction come to the surface intensely enough to make your son or daughter afraid faced with the consequences of having explained what has happened to them, whether due to the stress generated at that moment when seeing what is happening to their father or mother, or due to a feeling of guilt when observing how it generates discomfort; Victims of abuse tend to judge themselves negatively and blame themselves, in part, for what happened.
Therefore, it is important that from the first moment the focus is placed on making it relatively easy for that person when it comes to taking the difficult step of talking about what happened, without generating situations of disruption or that take attention away from what is most important.
2. Apply active listening
When our son tells us that someone has sexually abused him, the most important and primary thing is to listen to everything he has to tell us, tactfully, without interrupting him or questioning anything he says at that moment This first step can be painful, as our child may be affected by what happened and he may have difficulty explaining his experience openly. To do this, we must show him that we listen to him and that we consider what he says is very important, that we take it seriously, since this will be seen as a sign that we can take effective steps to help him and ensure his safety.
We must keep in mind that any child/adolescent who decides to tell their parents about these types of traumatic experiences has had to make a very great effort and perhaps has been suffering for several days or months in silence for fear of possible negative consequences of everything. guy.
In the listening phase there is no need to go into details about the type of abuse they have suffered or who the perpetrator was if the minor does not feel ready to talk about it, already in the first talk about it, so that they do not feel overwhelmed. In addition to offering direct and open listening, it is important not to question anything he tells us and we must also tell him that nothing that has happened is his fault.
Secondly, it is important to ask a series of key questions so that both his father and mother know what type of abuse our son has suffered.
This phase can begin after a few hours or the next day, depending on the degree of certainty with which we know that he is not in danger in the family context to make sure that the boy or girl is ready to talk to us about these types of painful topics and is willing to remember the experience again.
These questions about the nature of sexual abuse must be adapted to the developmental level of the boy or girl, since asking a 3-year-old child is not the same as asking a child 7 years old or older. That is why we must make ourselves understood and ensure that he or she tells us everything that happened.
4. Undertake steps at the judicial level and request an expert psychological evaluation
The next step is to report the abuse suffered by our child to the police, something that can sometimes be difficult, especially if the abuser is a family member or person close to the family.
The complaint must be made as soon as possible to initiate all legal procedures as quickly as possible with the ultimate goal of guaranteeing the well-being of the minor.
In parallel to this, it is advisable to contact psychologists who offer forensic psychology services, since in this way you will be able to have an expert psychological report that provides relevant information about the case; This facilitates the process of proving that these abuses have taken place and, in addition, It helps to know the extent of the psychological consequences that it has left on our son/daughter
The expert psychological report is the legal and scientific tool prepared by expert psychologists to help clarify the facts that are being judged.
This report is one of the essential pieces of evidence used in all types of judicial processes in which it is decided whether or not there has been a crime of child sexual abuse; This is a document written by psychologists who do not take a position for or against anyone, and who simply work from a technical role to gather relevant information and provide their conclusions analyzed from their point of view as specialists; This information is then taken into account by judges and lawyers.
The psychological report written by an expert psychologist It contains all the evidence that gives credibility to the minor’s testimony and also the conclusions of all the tests and psychometric tests that have been administered to carry out the complaint in a criminal proceeding, such as the drawing tests in which the child or adolescent explains what happened, the analysis of chat conversations, the results of clinical evaluation tests to find out if there are signs of psychopathological sequelae, etc.
In addition to that, psychological reports contain what is known as pre-constituted evidence, that is, the victim’s recorded statement in which she recounts her entire experience or experiences of sexual abuse.
5. Ask for help from other health and educational professionals
When we learn of the sexual abuse suffered by our son or daughter, it is important to file the case, not only with the police authorities, but with pediatricians, psychologists or psychiatrists specialized in this type of case who can tell us at all times what to do or what actions to take. in every moment.
The support and guidance of a professional They are essential to adapt to the needs of a minor who has suffered abuse, given that they surely cannot interact with their environment in the way that would be expected in a young person of their age.
6. Seek help on a personal level
Fathers and mothers do not have to go through this entire painful process without ever abandoning their protective role as adults who never lose their cool; sometimes, They should focus on their own health and be able to vent, expressing their fears, worries, etc Therefore, it is important to seek help from loved ones and psychotherapists.
Are you looking for forensic psychology services in cases of abuse?
If you need forensic psychology services, contact us.
In Azor & Associates We have a long professional career in this field, and we apply the most appropriate expert evidence for each case. You will find us in Tres Cantos.
