What To Do If Your Teenager Doesn’t Want To Go To School: 7 Strategies
When a teenager does not want to go to school, parents find themselves in a delicate situation that they do not know how to deal with. One of the predominant feelings in situations like this is helplessness.
If a teenager says he doesn’t want to go to school… What do you do? Parents, naturally, become very worried and afraid when their teenager refuses to go to school. In this article we will talk about some strategies that you can implement if you find yourself in this situation.
Strategies that you can put into practice if your child does not want to go to school
Let’s explore 7 strategies that can help and guide you if you find yourself in this situation. Following them will not guarantee that your child will want to go to school, but they can help and guide you in this complicated situation. Furthermore, you probably don’t have to put all the strategies into practice, since they will depend on each specific situation.
1. Don’t assume your teen is being defiant.
We all know that if teenagers are characterized by something, it is for being defiant with respect to limits. This process is normal and healthy, and is part of adolescence. However, Don’t assume that this defiant behavior is the only reason your child refuses to go to school Many times, there are other issues at play. If you only focus on this cause, you may overlook other problems that may be explaining why your child does not want to go to school.
In line with the previous point, it is very important that you identify the reason why your child refuses to go to school. Do you feel pressure to study? Does he suffer bullying? Is he depressed and doesn’t have the energy to get out of bed? Is he overloaded with tasks and very tired? Is there a social skills problem that makes it difficult for you to relate to your peers?
Observe your child closely: your routines, use of new technologies, school and extracurricular tasks you have to do every day, what use you make of your leisure time, who you go out with, sleeping habits, eating…
Some of the main reasons why adolescents do not want to go to school are bullying, academic difficulties, anxiety and depression. Although there could be other situations that explain a teenager’s refusal to go to school.
3. Specifically explore the possibility of bullying
Bullying as a possible cause deserves a special point. Sometimes avoiding school is one of the first signs that your child is being bullied Therefore, I encourage you to be sure to investigate this possibility. Keep in mind that many teens are embarrassed to admit that they are being bullied and may not tell you.
Likewise, it is important to remember that bullying can occur in very different forms: coercion, social manipulation, social exclusion, intimidation…
Remember to consider the possibility that harassment may be happening in the world of technology and social media Cyberbullying is the order of the day and is usually more difficult for parents to detect.
What do you think can help your child right now? Surely it will be comforting for your child to know that his parents understand him and that it is difficult for him to go to school. To do this, you can use active listening techniques, such as giving him your full attention, not doing other tasks while he is talking, not interrupting him, encouraging him to continue talking, not judging him…
5. Inform the institute
A point that is always necessary is to inform the institute of this situation that is occurring Your teachers are going to be an indispensable source of information. Think that they are your eyes when your child is in school. Furthermore, it is very likely that the institute will have to be part of the solution.
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6. Avoid engaging in a power struggle
If your child refuses to go to school, try not to get angry This can make the situation worse and cause stress for both yourself and your child. Having arguments at home is not going to make me want to go to school, on the contrary, it is going to be another source of problems.
Likewise, avoid power struggles with those in charge of the institute. Many times, when we are overwhelmed, we look for blame and attribute the problem to external causes beyond ourselves. This is not going to help your son. It’s about joining forces and rowing in the same direction
Related article: “Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication”
Maybe he doesn’t want to tell you what is happening to him, but he may feel comfortable talking to a psychologist. Also, if your child is having any problems with anxiety, depression, bullying… There is work to be done with a mental health professional to work on all those symptoms.
If your child does not want to go to a psychologist, you can consider the option of going yourself. A psychologist can help you deal with the situation better.
Remember that your child is unique and has unique circumstances, therefore, this problem requires an individualized response. In any case, the three components to solve the problem are usually the adolescent, the parents and the institute. It is a collaboration, many times they blame each other and that is not the way.
