Envy is a feeling that is easy to explain and difficult to live with. It is defined as a mental state in which there is pain or discomfort due to one not having what another has. There are many reasons why someone may feel envy, whether due to material issues, physical and/or emotional qualities, achievements or events. It could be said that we have all experienced envy at some point in our lives, or even experienced the other side of the coin: someone showing their envy to you through words or actions.
Although there are many reasons to feel envious, the reason behind the feeling is always the same Generally, it is born from a combination between the role of comparison and feelings of inferiority that lead the individual to observe some characteristic in the other person that he does not possess and would like or at least is not aware of possessing. When the idea of being inferior to the rest is confirmed through comparison, there comes an avalanche of frustrations, hatred and, in the most extreme cases, a desire to humiliate the other.
In this regard, many people informally use the term “good” or “healthy” envy to refer to wanting to have something that another person has, but with the big difference that the negative feelings disappear and the basis lies in the fact that The other person deserves what they have and they are truly happy about it.
However, in today’s article, we will focus on envy that makes us feel very bad and brings negative consequences. If you are interested in knowing how you can know if someone around you feels this way and what to do when someone is envious of you keep reading and you will find the answers.
Perhaps you have ever been able to sense that someone is envious of you but due to the complicated situation that this entails, you have felt confused and did not want to misunderstand. This is completely normal since it is not an easy task to know if someone is really envious of you or if what is happening is the result of something else. Likewise, we often use the feeling of envy as a wild card in interpersonal conflicts and of course this is not a good practice. Therefore, what are the signs to know if someone is envious of you?
Someone with envy would try to harm you through words or actions regarding your achievements It can make you feel guilty or even emphasize that what you got was by pure chance or luck. They make you undervalue yourself or feel that you are not worthy of achieving success or good things in life.
2. Competitiveness
Those envious people constantly try to compete with you. For example, you can tell something positive about yourself that the envious person will share something similar or even tell something that seems greater. That is to say, they fit a pattern similar to yours or most of the time they try to be one step ahead.
3. He only tells you negative things
We all like to tell when something has gone well or we have achieved a goal. The envious person, instead of being happy with you, will point out the disadvantages and negative aspects. It may also happen that the person’s criticism is so subtle that he makes it under the effect of a good intention or congratulates you in a very superficial way. The negative consequences of this mean that you unconsciously end up stopping talking about your achievements.
4. He imitates you
Envy often leads the person to start acting, speaking and behaving like you. It’s like he wants to be you. In these cases, The imitation effect is triggered and the resemblance that the person has achieved to you can become uncomfortable
5. He walks away
Sometimes, envious people cannot bear their negative emotion and act cold, behave strangely, and even walk away. You may get the feeling that you have done something wrong and that because of you they feel offended or angry.
Pay attention to the conversations you have with that person and if they talk a lot about others in a derogatory way, they may do the same with you when you are not around. The individual who feels envy recurrently usually experiences more than one person. Listen to your instinct and if you have ever felt that the person is not trustworthy because he talks badly about you behind your back, you may be right.
What to do when a person is envious of you?
It is clear that surrounding yourself with people who are envious of you ends up being detrimental not only to your relationship with said individual, but can also harm yourself. Throughout life, yes or yes you will have to deal with envious people. Therefore, it is important to know what you can do to try to cope with this situation in the best way possible. The best thing for your personal well-being is to walk away and distance yourself from that person since it is beneficial for both parties. However, we understand that this answer is not easy in all cases. Therefore, below we offer some guidelines that you can follow:
1. Reflect on what relationships you want to care for
Many times we cling to someone because we have known them for a long time, because we share other common bonds, or simply because we prefer to be with that person rather than be alone.
Knowing where and with whom you want to invest your time is a huge reflection exercise that you should practice Decide what types of bonds you want to care for in your life and don’t be afraid to let go of those that only bring you negativity, sadness and worries. Therefore, we recommend that you be next to those people who contribute to you and that you contribute to them.
When an envious person responds with a negative comment to your success, silence, a smile, or responding with humor can eliminate or reduce their envious behavior.
3. Practice empathy
It is interesting to try to understand why the envious person is feeling this way. Is it a bad streak? We advise you to practice empathy and try to put yourself in the person’s skin to know what is really happening behind all those frustrations and hatred.
4. Avoid entering their game
Even if he tells you negative things, do not try to justify yourself since nothing you say will help him because above all there is the feeling of envy.
5. Perform some acts of kindness towards yourself
Spontaneously try to do favors or other acts of kindness in order to break down his envy of you.
6. Talk about it with someone else
Many times we see things from our perspective and we may be making a mistake by not having a broader and objective vision of the subject.
7. Talk about it with that person
If nothing is working for you, talking to the person may be a good option However, do not turn the conversation around the fact that he is envious of you since it is very likely that he will deny what he feels. Keep in mind that it is one of the sensations that is most censored and repressed on an emotional level. Therefore, whenever he makes a hurtful comment, instead of ignoring it, let him know without mentioning that he is envious.
Conclusion
In short, envy is a human feeling that we have all experienced on our own skin at some point. The attitude we take towards envious people is important since it can make us solve the problem quickly and effectively, or on the contrary, it can make the problem much bigger. The pain of an envious person begins when their actions or words habitually hurt you. Therefore, if you have identified with this article and do not know how to properly manage the situation, we recommend that you go to a professional. This is because if you do not know how to stop the situation and set appropriate limits, it can significantly affect your mental health.
