When the partner becomes one of the most important people for us since it is not only a couple but that person also becomes a partner, a friend, a confidant, therefore we must put pay attention to the type of relationship we establish with it. It is essential that any relationship, especially as a couple, has an atmosphere of tranquility and harmony where respect is a fundamental pillar for both.
With respect we not only mean not verbally or physically attacking the person since there are also other attitudes that, although they seem subtle, are also considered a lack of respect towards the other, such as criticism, ridicule, among other situations that We’ll see later. So if you can’t identify whether or not there is a lack of respect in your partner, in this PsychologyFor article: when there is lack of respect in the couple we are going to let you know what aspects you can base on to know and finally you can put a stop to this situation.
Some of the signs that you can base on to analyze whether there is truly a lack of respect in your relationship, whether on your part, on the part of your partner or both, are the following:
Destructive criticism. When criticism appears towards the other, for example, attacking aspects of their person, their appearance, their way of dressing, etc. They can also be other types of criticism related to the other person’s economic situation, their cultural level, criticizing their attitudes, among other things. Many times the way of saying things to others can be quite frivolous and hurtful and we must take into account the intention with which things are said.
Mocking and humiliation. These can range from making fun of the other’s way of thinking, their beliefs and ideology. For example, when the other person’s religion, his or her perception of life, etc. are criticized. There can also be mockery related to what the other person does or doesn’t do, when they make mistakes and even when they don’t, but the person who attacks always tries to ridicule the other. For example, saying things like: “what a fool, you never do things right”, using the word “sermos”, etc.
Speak ill of the family. Another way to disrespect your partner is to speak badly about their family for whatever reason, when the other party makes fun of one or more of your family members or simply criticizes them.
Don’t accept your differences. It is normal that they do not share the same tastes and preferences, however, the lack of respect begins when one or both despise the other’s tastes to the point of judging them for having them and messing with them.
Give nicknames. Many couples like to give themselves nicknames to call each other as a way of showing their affection, however on many occasions these nicknames or nicknames can be quite offensive to the other person that, even without realizing it, they can deteriorate the other’s self-esteem.
Reveal each other’s secrets. Another way to disrespect your partner or in which they may be disrespecting you is to tell others your personal secrets. No matter who it is, whether they tell their best friend, their family or whoever, if it is something that you have confided in them and that you do not want anyone else to know, the fact Talking about it with someone else already implies a lack of respect.
Lie. When lies are involved in a couple, there is already a huge problem of lack of trust. When your partner constantly lies to you, it is evident that he is not respecting that pact of union and trust that every relationship must have.
Abuse. When a couple gets angry they can end up offending and insulting the other if they don’t think before speaking. This lack of respect is quite serious since once you start insulting others it will be increasingly difficult to stop it.
How to regain respect in a relationship
When there is a lack of respect in a couple, it is important to work to recover a healthy dynamic and heal a toxic relationship. For this reason, we offer you some key tips so that you can prevent a lack of respect from arising on the part of both of you in your relationship:
Think before speak. When both of you are angry and start arguing, it is necessary that you do not act or say things on impulse, try to stay calm, if necessary, leave and go to another room where you can be alone, breathe deeply and when you feel calmer, talk. again. This will reduce the risk of being offended and insulted considerably since they will allow themselves to think things through better before speaking and not get angry impulsively.
Express what you feel to your partner. Let your partner know how you feel about their way of acting, tell them what bothers you and when they are offending you, even without realizing it. Don’t say it as an argument or a reproach, just talk to her and tell her what it makes you feel and how you would like her to treat you from this moment on.
Give the example. Show your partner that you respect them because if you demand respect and you don’t, it’s more likely that they won’t comply either. Therefore, it is necessary that you act accordingly and respect your partner at all times since this increases the chances that she will also do so and if she has begun to disrespect you, she will also begin to change her attitude.
Put a stop. If your partner constantly disrespects you, you have already spoken to them on several occasions, you have expressed your feelings and you have set an example by always showing them respect and continue like this. It is necessary that you make a determination and value how much good that relationship is for you, since if it is affecting you more than what it gives you, it will increasingly hurt you to be there. However, before making your decision, you need to stop your partner and not allow him to continue disrespecting you. You can say things like: “I don’t like it when you talk to me like that,” “I’m going to ask you not to talk to me that way again,” “I’m not disrespecting you so don’t do it either,” etc. You have to tell them all this seriously and confidently, without joking or hesitating. In this case, you must learn the psychology of communication as a couple.
Empathy to avoid disrespect
Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is something that is difficult for many people since on certain occasions we only worry about our personal interests and leave aside those of the other. In the case of a couple, being able to put ourselves in their place is something essential in the relationship, especially when we are talking about respect. It is highly recommended that empathy be practiced within the relationship since in this way, over time the relationship can become increasingly solid and stable.
So every time we intend to intentionally hurt another, the first thing we have to do is imagine how we would feel If our partner were to treat us like this and on the contrary, we have to think about what type of behaviors we would prefer him to have with us that would make us feel much better. At first this exercise may be difficult to carry out, especially if you are not used to doing it, however over time it becomes a kind of positive habit that without a doubt the more we put it into practice the more it will enrich the relationship with Over time.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to When there is a lack of respect in the couple we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.
