People often have to deal with uncomfortable, sometimes very painful, emotions and feelings. All of this is usually accompanied by intrusive, automatic and persistent thoughts that we want to get rid of.
Memories loaded with suffering or the constant need to move forward into the future sometimes anticipating catastrophes, sometimes trying to control any event that could break our stability.
All these phenomena (thoughts and emotions) end up conditioning our way of behaving, and thus a circle is closed in which thoughts – emotions – behavior feed off each other, potentially generating a real problem.
When you get into this labyrinth sometimes it is very difficult to get out and you need the help of a professional, this is what psychotherapy consists of.
Psychological therapy (or psychotherapy) can be understood as a collaborative process between the psychologist (an expert in the mind and its processes) and the patient (an expert in himself and his own life). In this process, an evaluation of the case is carried out, which consists of analyzing all the variables that revolve around the patient and their suffering: their current life context, their personal history, the way in which the problem has been constructed, the solutions that have been tried, the intensity and frequency of the symptoms as well as the contexts in which the problem occurs, etc.
When you have a good understanding of the case, the treatment is carried out, this part of the process is aimed at modify patterns of behavior and habits (of the behavior itself, but also of the mental processes, not so evident) that are at the base of the problem, maintaining the disorder or any other form of imbalance that is causing discomfort.
Incidentally, psychotherapy is also aimed at preventing illness, as well as maintaining and promoting health, making what already works continue to work or work even better.
The relationship between psychotherapy and suffering
Presumably, one will seek the help of a professional to overcome their problem. However, it is important to understand that The goal of psychotherapy should not be focused on the complete elimination of suffering, because this is impossible. Rather, psychotherapy helps the person understand their suffering, give it meaning, understand how it is constructed and provide them with tools to be aware of the factors that trigger and maintain the symptoms and thus be able to use this information to reduce, minimize or cushion the symptoms. symptoms, thus allowing them to lead a dignified life.
Symptoms are all those “uncomfortable things” that we have to deal with and that are informing us that something is not right. Physical pain is a good example: we notice a stabbing pain in the foot when we have stepped on an object that has caused a wound; the pain warns us that there is a wound that must be treated, washed, disinfected and protected.
But also There are symptoms that tell us about mental suffering. Insomnia, constant anticipation, obsession with body image, decreased ability to enjoy or get excited about things that were previously pleasant, different forms of addiction, outbursts of rage and frequent arguments are some examples of symptoms. . We must understand all these phenomena as a signal that is telling us that there is some issue that needs to be addressed, they may be telling us that there is something that needs to be changed.
No one is exempt from developing some type of symptom, life entails pressure, we are subject to stress and we all end up being affected by this, some will suffer muscle contractures, others will feel unproductive guilt, others will tend to isolate themselves socially, there will be those who develop hallucinations or delusions, etc.
Depending on the physiology, personal history and personality structure of each person, the way in which psychological suffering is expressed will take one form or another.
Suffering also plays a role
Returning to the previous point: suffering may be telling us something. Seeing suffering from this perspective often represents a 180º turn for people, because what we usually do with all this is “start a fight against the symptom”, without stopping to listen to what it has to tell us.
Maybe that ringing sound you have ringing in your ear (tinnitus) is informing you that you are too stressed and should reduce your self-demands.
Maybe your frequent arguments with your partner are telling you that you can’t stand your job anymore and that you are taking out that frustration with the person who supports you the most.
It is also essential to be aware that some symptoms do not go away completely, which does not mean that we are condemned to always be suffering, there are things we can do. In this sense, efforts must be directed not so much at eliminating the symptom but at controlling these three factors that revolve around the symptom:
An example of this could be the person who develops an addiction: “Maybe I have a habit of smoking and I want to eliminate this behavior from my life because I consider it harmful. So, ideally I will never smoke again – this is perfectly possible, it can be done. However, it is common in addictions that have relapses”.
Seeing relapse as a total failure can mean that one gets hooked on the addiction again “totally, since I’ve already started smoking again… what difference does it make?” And then there is all that frustration that comes with relapse and that the drug helps to mask.
Therefore, it is worth asking ourselves: What triggered this relapse? What happened just before the relapse? What is happening now in my life? What changes have there been lately?
And don’t lose sight of:
Trying to reduce the intensity and duration of the symptom and increase its latency is often more realistic than trying to eliminate the symptom completely. In this way, one learns to live with anxiety, the need for control or the tendency to procrastinate knowing that this is not “an illness from which I must cure myself” but rather a state of mind in which I can enter and I can leave, learning to manage the conditions that cause the symptom in question.
If, for example, I become aware that the intrusive thoughts of my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and the irrational feeling of guilt and shame become especially intense when I accumulate several nights of little rest, I can focus on following adequate hygiene practices. I sleep to minimize the impact of my obsessive crises. In this sense, the prophylaxis (measures to reduce the symptom) of my OCD will be along the lines of sleeping at appropriate times and being especially attentive when I have a night of insomnia, because if I accumulate several nights without sleep it is likely that the clinic that characterizes my particular way of suffering.
In this way, psychotherapy becomes a process focused on self-knowledge: knowing myself and knowing my illness (which, it is not bad to remember: we are not the same thing). And it is one thing to know the illness and another thing to know how that illness expresses itself in me, not all people who suffer from depression do so for the same reasons, they do not experience it in the same way nor do they come out of depression in the same way.
It then consists of knowing myself in all my contexts: with the disorder and without the symptoms. All this information provides the person with useful strategies and helps them better deal with life in general and with their suffering in particular.
Conclusion
Psychotherapy should be aimed at emancipating the patient from the psychotherapist and, when possible, from the medication.
The primary objective should be for each person to become their own psychologist: therapeutic discharge is that moment when the process is consolidated and the patient can manage alone and the psychologist is no longer necessary.
Although it is useful and reassuring for some people to know that there is the possibility of returning to the therapy space to reinforce what was learned or remember some issues or to learn to manage new problems that may appear.
