To start this narrative I wanted to put into practice the uncomfortable question, the one that invites us to talk about ourselves, in the first person ; That is why today I wanted to look in the mirror for a few minutes, trying to find, formulate and construct an answer that gives relief to the anguish that appears on the path of the search for meaning through identity, a construction that is built every day. , brick by brick; sometimes dark, pastel, and lucid colors, other days, colorless and uniform.
I tried to accommodate several responses and I realized the temporal value of my words, that what I cared about yesterday and defended feverishly, today goes unnoticed like the drizzle on a summer afternoon. This is my story.
I’m Lina. No. That’s my name, but it has a very important emotional charge. That does not belong to me properly but that gives meaning to my existence through the eyes of my parents, my ancestors and my culture.
I am the daughter of Oscar and Lucy. It’s not my identity, it’s my parents.
I am a psychologist and coach. No. That is my profession. And so on, until I ran out of all possible answers to the quest for my identity. So…
I am my stories.
I am the narrative of my identity.
I am my memories. I am my culture, I am my language.
Today I am what I thought yesterday, tomorrow I can be what I think today. I am a subjective construction that responds to my concept of happiness
One of the robust dilemmas that most determines our existence is explained by this question: Who am I? We try to respond during our lives and we adjust to our realities and perceptions and thus, we are empowered with a sonorous and constant discourse that takes on shades and nuances around our reality.
To focus on this question, we are going to try to understand the logic of our narrative. Let’s start by understanding what identity is.
The identity
Identity is not something fixed, it is mobile and dynamic It has a temporal dimension; That is to say, it is a story told, nourished by stories, the same ones to which I give meaning with my words. Furthermore, it is the result of a life told, examined, taken up again. We are narrativity.
Memories, ours, give meaning to identity. The identity that inhabits us. We are words. So, the first word that inhabits me is my name. That name that comes loaded with expectations, dreams, ideals, some labels that can become stereotypes and other generational burdens that come with that word that will speak about me all my life. So, saying that “I am Lina” responds to the meaning and logic of my identity? No. But it does burden me with those borrowed words, which do not belong to me but unfortunately accompany me until I am aware that they are not mine.
I am the legacy We are what we collect from previous generations. I am my language, that sound identity, the one that gives meaning to the way I see the world. Legacy refers to cultural determination, that call of belonging.
I am the screenwriter, narrator and protagonist Be determined with your words, because they will determine your character. Words define and give shape and meaning to who I am, who I want to be and how to achieve it. So, from the logic of building a narrative that reflects what I want to be, we are going to identify the key elements we have to make our own identity sustainable.
I am the engineer, builder and architect of the house I am going to build. I am the one who tells the story. What story do you want to tell?
I am going to build a house that will be the order of my identity, the answer for the “I”; The challenge is to identify the words that determine the stories that inhabit me and which of these are mine by definition; Understanding this difference will determine the path to freedom and adjustment to happiness in terms of subjectivity and enjoyment.
The foundation words They are the foundation of the house. You can make them as strong as you want; Remember that everything depends on your words.
The words column They are our values, and values are what matters to us; Think about those non-negotiables, and you will know that right there are your columns.
The words ladder They are those that drive us to pursue our dreams and challenges. It is those stairs that lift us up but from time to time also leave us in the storage room; and it is right there in the storage room where we find what does not serve us and that in fact hinders us (in the storage room you find even your greatest fears).
Once you arrive at the storage room, sadness, anguish, loneliness, meaninglessness and disorder inhabit you. What is the movement that accompanies you once you arrive at the storage room? Do you clean it up, or do you move forward without looking back? Those stairs are the impulse you have to always move forward.
The Windows ; These words are decisive for the house. The words window give an account of the subjective meaning of happiness. Here is our enjoyment, inspiration, flow experiences that nourish our soul. They are those memories that we collect, our hobbies.
How many windows do your house have? Do you find these closed or open? Are they easy to open? They are questions that bring us closer to the moments that are worth living over and over again.
Last but not least, there are the words door These doors are what allow us to open new cycles, and also close them. How many doors do I have open today in my house? What key am I opening the doors with?
There is one key that is the only one that works for all the doors; that is the key to trust, which allows me to come and go freely. After all, I am the result of my stories, of my memories, of that narrative that I tell myself every day and that references me to who I am and how I relate to my environment.
Concluding
Once I am able to identify the borrowed words that inhabit me and by the way I have the courage to eliminate them from my narrative, I can be certain of freedom, and freedom is the word that is closest to happiness.
Freedom; She is there willing to be part of your experiential discourse, but you have to appropriate what is truly yours to do yourself the honor of living it. After all, today you are the result of the stories you told yourself yesterday; Tomorrow you will be the stories you tell yourself today.
For this, make sure you build stories and narratives that inspire you that connect with your purposes, with increasing certainty and security.
When you are able to take responsibility for the consistency of your words and your stories, then you are ready to live, and life is worth living.
