It is possible to be sad for no apparent reason; It is a more common sensation than we think and, therefore, we should not feel guilty about this. Having everything is not enough reason to be happy.
Sadness is a basic emotion that we can feel when some aspect of our environment or some internal state affects us, generating an unpleasant sensation in us. But this does not mean that it is not functional or that we should avoid it, since it can help us know what is happening to us and thus be able to work on it and deal with it. Allow yourself to be sad and don’t feel bad about it.
In this article we will describe what is meant by sadness and what its functions can be, and why many people reach a situation in which they ask themselves: “Why am I sad if my life is good?”.
Society sets us goals or achievements that we must achieve to be happy, but… Is it really what we want? In the same way, we live a fast-paced life that hardly allows us to have time for ourselves and value what we have. They teach us to always want more and never reach a level where we are emotionally satiated.
Sadness is one of the six basic emotions; This term refers to the fact that it is an emotion that has its own characteristics, different from others and that everyone knows how to identify when they perceive the expression of sadness. Thus appears a state of apathy, lack of motivation; anhedonia, lack of sensation of pleasure; decreased hunger… which, as expected, generates an unpleasant sensation in the individuals who suffer from it.
But contrary to what one might expect, we will not consider it a maladaptive emotion. All emotions, both those considered positive and negative, are functionalThat is, they act as a sign of how our environment is and how we are internally. In other words, they help us realize how we are, what positive or negative aspects surround us or how we feel inside.
So, It is very important not to confuse sadness with depression, since this confusion is very typical in the society in which we live, since one term or another tends to be used interchangeably, as synonyms, “I am depressed” and “I am sad.” These do not really refer to the same thing, since unlike sadness, which as we have seen is a basic emotion and can be functional, depression is considered a disorder, and as such, it can present sadness as a symptom, but also It will have to meet the criterion of non-functionality, of impact on the subject’s life.
So it is very important not to confuse the terms, sadness It is a necessary emotion that will help us know how we feel and what we like and what we don’t like, what makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad… On the contrary, depression is not functional, it affects the well-being of the individual, and is therefore considered a pathology. .
If I have everything… Why am I sad?
In this way, sadness It can act as a signal that something is wrong, but it can also appear for no apparent reason.without there being a visible or clear cause that generates it.
Thus, the causes of being sad can be multiple and sometimes these are not so clear. For example, what makes us sad may be events that happened a long time ago and we have not overcome or healed well, or events that did not affect us at the time but from which discomfort developed some time later.
The appearance of sadness does not respond to a simple cause-effect mechanism nor does it have a specific duration; this means that An unpleasant or negative event may happen to us and sadness does not show right after, but after a while and in the same way each person and situation is different; Therefore, the duration of sadness may vary depending on the individual who suffers it or at the moment of life it occurs, it may vary.
In the same way, on many occasions we tend to only value what we have or how we feel externally without taking into account how we are on the inside. That is to say, Sadness can be caused by both external and internal events.so the situation may arise that we have everything, work, housing, partner, friends… but we feel sad, since the problem may be due to the fact that we are not well internally.
Thus, If we are good with ourselves we cannot be 100% even if externally We are not missing anything.
Another point to consider is whether “having it all” is what really makes us happy. Many times, what people consider to be having it all depends on a social construction and the culture to which they belong, that is, what is socially valued as an achievement and as an objective to achieve.
Since we were little we grow up surrounded by beliefs that influence us, the world we live in sets us goals that we must meet if we want to be happy, such as finding a partner with whom we can have children and start a family, getting a job. stable, becoming independent and having your own home, among many others. But, what if what we have been told that happiness entails is really not what makes us happy, and if I am a woman and I don’t want to have children, and if I want to be single.
These are considerations that we must take into account, since We tend not to question things and accept them as they tell us.and maybe even having everything that is supposed to make us happy, we feel sad because it is not what we really want but what society has established or marked for us.
Another factor that could be causing us sadness is the lack of enjoyment of the situation; We may have everything we really want and it would make us happy, but We do not dedicate time to value it and enjoy it. We live fast, with a pace of life that does not allow us to rest, society constantly requires us to do things to achieve our achievements, without being able to enjoy what we already have, we continually think about the future, we act to achieve something but Let’s not stop to live in the present, to be happy with what we already have.
Therefore, it is not strange that we lose interest when we have already achieved a goal, that we stop valuing what we have to focus all our forces on achieving what we do not have. As we have said, society requires us to get things, never being enough, causing what we have to lose value and we only want what we do not have.
How to deal with the feeling of sadness
In order to manage and face sadness, it will be necessary for us to stop, to stop focusing on the outside and focus on ourselves, inside, on What is it that prevents us from being well or what is it that we truly want?.
Human beings like or need to have the feeling that we control everything and that we can know the cause and reason for all the things that happen. But there are events, facts, sensations that do not have such a clear explanation that it does not depend on us whether they occur or disappear. Factors that we cannot modify influence, such as genetics, there are people who are more predisposed to have a type of sensations, since they present certain traits. In the same way, there can also be biological deregulations in hormones, in neurotransmitters… that affect how we feel.
So, not everything depends on us and, therefore, we should not blame ourselves for it. We tend to blame the person themselves when they are sad for no reason, causing them to enter a loop of blame and sadness, since the more we blame ourselves, the sadder we will feel and as a consequence it will also make us continue to blame ourselves more for it.
Therefore, It can help to take time for yourself: listen to yourself, know yourself, know what you really want and value what you have, live in the present and not continually think about the future, about achieving new achievements.
In the same way, allow yourself to feel sad; It is a functional emotion that we should not avoid. Don’t try to deny or feel bad or guilty for being sad, as this will only make the situation worse and make you worse, without allowing you to properly cope and handle the situation. We have to learn to destigmatize sadness, it is not bad and it is impossible and dysfunctional to always be happy.
Finally, note that we can always ask for professional help if we see that we cannot face the situation and we notice that it is beyond us. Coming to the conclusion that it is time to go to psychotherapy is not a failure; The psychologist can give us more specific tools and strategies and take better control of our situation.
