Why Do I Find It Difficult To Relate To People? Causes, And What To Do
Interpersonal relationships are partly related to each person’s attitude; Some may find it easier than others to relate appropriately to their peers within the framework of social norms. This responds to the individual differences that exist between some people and others.
Therefore, it is relatively common for the question to arise: “Why do I have a hard time relating to people?” In this article we are going to see what factors may be behind this type of social difficulties, and what can be done about it.
Related article: “I have a hard time making friends: causes and solutions”
Why do I find it difficult to relate to people? Possible reasons
The causes may be varied, and may be mixed between the personality characteristics of the subject and the social environment in which he or she has been developing since childhood. To answer the question of “why do I have a hard time relating to people?” It is necessary to understand both causes.
For example, a child who has a tendency toward extroversion but who develops in an environment where excessive composure predominates he will grow up restricted, and will most likely have difficulties relating to others during his adult stage.
The same thing happens in the opposite case, when children are introverted and the significant people in their environment They try to force them to relate to others in an arbitrary way The child will grow up remembering aversive experiences linked to social relationships, and later in his adult life it will be more difficult for him to have meaningful and lasting relationships.
It can be said then that difficulties in social relationships depend largely on how these two factors (environment and nature) are balanced, so that the subject develops and grows with good self-esteem, and also knows how to recognize and manage their personality characteristics. . In this way, personal factors such as extroversion and introversion can be prevented from playing against us when establishing and maintaining social relationships with others.
The ideal is that people acquire the necessary skills to moderate their personality characteristics within the framework of social norms, without this affecting them in any way in terms of their natural development.
Factors that affect social relationships
Next we will see the factors that affect the psychosocial development of people.
1. Natural factors
The natural factors that influence social difficulties are all those that come from the genetic predispositions of the subject Depending on the family history, they could be hereditary, although in many of them the learning history also has a lot of influence. These are some of the most common:
All of these are just propensities whose negative social impact we can overcome if we modify our habits, as we will see.
2. Social factors
Social factors, which are mainly learned, have a high impact on the social relationships that we are able to establish. Let’s see how our environment can influence in this aspect of life:
It must be taken into account that the presence of the factors seen above only represent a higher probability of presenting problems in social relationships, but are not absolutely decisive That is why they are known as risk factors.
In the same way that there are risk factors that can lead the subject to present difficulties in their interpersonal relationships, There are ways you can avoid these types of limitations They are the following
1. Be selective regarding the social group
The fact that you do not relate well with a social group It doesn’t mean it should be like that with everyone ; Keep in mind that it is not worth forcing the interaction. If you notice that to fit into a group you have to distance yourself too much from who you really are, then maybe it’s time to stop fitting into that scheme.
2. Set goals
The goals They greatly help to gradually overcome our social limitations ; It is about escalating our fears in a controlled way. For example, if we are anxious about talking to people; We set a daily goal of starting at least 3 conversations a day.
Do this It will allow us to overcome our insecurities , and the time will come when we can do it naturally. These goals must have a deadline, to be able to measure how well we have done over that period of time.
3. Share experiences
Dare to share personal experiences with people close to you It’s okay if you sometimes say things that make you feel vulnerable. Contrary to what many believe, being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness in all contexts.
If you are able to open yourself up to telling negative experiences to others, they will feel a greater degree of trust with you, and the interaction may become more meaningful for all members of the group. Of course, keep in mind that they must be trustworthy people.
A resource little used by people is psychological therapy , probably due to the stereotypes that still exist towards the figure of these sessions. But the reality is that going to therapy can clarify the outlook regarding what is limiting you socially, and will serve to propose “training” plans to relate better to others.
