Why Do We Feel Jealous? 3 Effective Methods To Overcome Them
Do you think you feel jealous? Do you know that there are different types of jealousy? Find out if you are a jealous person and solve this problem through psychology.
Everyone knows that jealousy is bad Despite this idea, it is very common to find either a jealous man or a jealous woman. Although there is a degree of jealousy that can be seen as normal, the reality is that you could say that jealousy is unhealthy. This is because any of the types of jealousy that exist are signaling a problem with ourselves.
Jealousy is an emotional response that arises when we perceive a threat towards something that we consider our property. Jealousy is an emotion that arises from the need to want to possess exclusively, out of fear of losing another person. It doesn’t have to be between the couple, jealousy also appears between siblings, with friends. The jealous men or jealous women They tend to feel these emotions in many different situations. Jealousy can arise in very different contexts and with different people, but they usually glimpse certain problems in the jealous person that must be solved.
What can we consider normal jealousy?
It is very difficult to establish the line that separates normal jealousy from so-called pathological jealousy. On many occasions, calling a attitude is jealous or not, depends both on the culture and on what society considers acceptable at all times. Therefore, knowing if someone suffers from jealousy and distrust can be a somewhat subjective question.
Despite this, what does make a clear reference to the fact that we have unhealthy jealousy is when it continually interferes with our relationships. So much so that you could say that a jealous person It is one whose jealousy prevents her from leading a healthy life with others.
And you, are you jealous? Find out in this test:
Jealous person: Characteristics to detect them
The jealous people They are characterized by having difficulties in managing their emotions, insecurity, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and the need for possession due to fear of loss. They express these emotions in a defensive way, sometimes blaming the other person for their own feelings and behaviors. In this way, obsessive jealousy or an attack of jealousy can be preceded by a specific attitude. Some of the actions carried out by a jealous person can be:
Distrust is one of the characteristics of feeling or being jealous. Whether it be their other friends, co-workers or even people who may be around them in a public place. Distrust in a couple or in relationships of all types can cause jealousy arise in many moments. Trust is a fundamental basis for a relationship to flow.
2. Check social networks
Checking social networks, telephone, mail, wallet, car or anything that can arouse the jealous person from their suspicions. In many cases an attack of jealousy occurs only due to the imagination that a cellopath may have in your mind. In this way, a compulsively jealous person is usually a person accustomed to constantly thinking negatively.
3. Exercise control
Constant control of where and who your partner is with. This control can be carried out in many ways. Some of them may even include not letting the partner go out alone, which entails accompanying them everywhere, constantly calling or writing to them, following the person without them knowing, among other attitudes. The evolution of this need to control others is the pathological jealousy or unhealthy jealousy In these cases, it is vital to try to treat the reason why jealousy arises.
4. Comparison with others
You constantly compare yourself with other people close to your partner, your friends or your family. The jealousy and distrust usually arise from judging and comparing oneself with all the people around the source of jealousy. Furthermore, it is very likely that in this comparison with others, the jealous person will always end up losing. In this way, controlling jealousy is much more difficult through this recurring use of imagination and comparison with others.
A jealous person and its symptoms can come at any time or situation. Jealousy is based on things you imagine or assume and not on real evidence. This does not imply that the partner of the jealous person has to constantly justify everything he does or says so that the other person does not imagine what he is not. So much so that jealous men or jealous women will not react even if you give them all the explanations you think are appropriate. The basis of jealousy is precisely in your mind.
There are different ways in which jealousy arises. In this way, when a zealous attitude is not stopped, the so-called pathological jealousy or unhealthy jealousy Specialists talk about various types of jealousy, among the most common we find the following.
couple jealousy
They are the ones we know best and can be fatal, especially in those cases in which they are linked to a pattern of violence and aggressiveness. In all cases, behind them lies a feeling of possession and insecurity that clearly affects the couple. Jealousy in a couple must be remedied immediately, otherwise the relationship may come to an end. Distrust in a partner is a cancer that ends up destroying the relationship completely.
Professional jealousy
They are also quite common. Mainly these happen when you get jealous by seeing the professional progress of others. They are related to feelings such as envy, self-image and low self-esteem. In some cases, they can lead to a passive-aggressive attitude and even evolve into the well-known mobbing.
Childish jealousy
It’s what we call fluff and it occurs between siblings. Normally, the eldest suffers them when a younger child is born and feels displaced in every sense (emotional, material, lack of time…). In most cases, they pass as the years go by, but there are children who feel jealous of their siblings all their lives. There are many cases in which jealous children express these feelings of envy through the so-called jealousy attacks
These are the main types of jealousy that can exist. Behind each of these situations, people who suffer from jealousy usually reflect an emotional lack that they mistakenly seek in others. In this way, if there is a way to know how to treat jealousy and it is precisely by ending that emotional lack.
Causes of jealousy
The jealousy according to psychology They are preceded by a mental pathology. So much so that in many cases they precede problems that we have within ourselves. Among the main reasons that we can find in cellopathy are the following.
Unsafety
When a person is not self-confident, it is impossible for them to trust others. Thus, jealousy They can arise in any of your relationships. Therefore, to stop being jealous in this sense, you must work on personal security.
Perfectionism
People who are excessively perfectionistic may experience an attack of jealousy due to comparing themselves too much with others. In this way, these types of situations become Sickly jealousies since you can never be the best at everything. These types of attitudes can influence the person’s own performance, making it more difficult to achieve success.
Low self-esteem
A person who does not love himself can have many problems in his relationships. Furthermore, for this profile, jealousy is unhealthy in many ways. A jealous woman or a jealous man If you suffer from low self-esteem, you will not only feel inferior to your friends, family or partner but you will also feel bad due to recurring thoughts drawn from your imagination and past situations.
These are the most common causes for mistrust to arise in a couple or in any type of relationship. In this way, in order to leave aside the jealousy, it is very important to put an end to these thoughts and attitudes that only cause harm to us and to others. If you think this is your situation, it may be a good idea to consult with a professional psychologist.
How to control jealousy?
As we see, these are emotional reactions that we cannot avoid but we can control so that this jealousy does not cause us pain or affect other people. If you are you want to know how to stop being jealous or jealous here we will give you some guidelines that you can follow to help you cure what causes jealousy.
1. Analyze what makes you jealous
Is what I feel justified? Do I really have reasons to distrust the other person?
2. Talk to someone about it
The ideal is that you do it with your partner, your friends or your family, but we can also talk about it with a friend and ask them how they see it from the outside, if the situation is really as dramatic as we think. This also goes for the professional jealousy
3. Work on your self-esteem
In addition to the feeling of possession, jealousy is a symptom of insecurity and low self-esteem. By considering ourselves inferior, we fear that our partner will notice another person or that they will not give us that position we want. It is, therefore, important that we learn to love ourselves and grow as people.
As you see, jealousy Unjustified they only indicate a lack that is in us. That is why it is so important to work with our mental health. Love only flows when people love themselves.
