Why Does Knowing How To Set Limits In Relationships Reinforce Self-esteem?
Many times we are not aware of the importance of setting limits in our interpersonal relationships. We try to be the best at everything and please the people around us and this makes us feel really exhausted. It is difficult for us to say the word “no” because of guilt and shame for being “bad people.” Therefore, establishing healthy limits is crucial to respecting yourself, taking care of yourself, feeling safe with yourself and, ultimately, raising self-esteem.
Limits are considered expectations or needs that help us feel protected and comfortable in our social relationships Ultimately, these reflect how you want people to interact with you and vice versa. As we mentioned, learning to say “yes” and “no” is a complicated task for many of us, but at the same time, it is essential to know how to establish good limits.
We must normalize setting limits as a form of self-care since it brings with it various benefits such as not allowing others to make decisions for you, not acting based on what other people think to avoid conflicts, understanding that we are not capable of pleasing everyone, Enjoy personal space and do not ignore disrespect.
In today’s article, we will discuss the importance of knowing how to set your own limits, knowing what is permissible for you and what is not, and ultimately, what it means to put these imaginary barriers in your self-esteem. stay to describe How poorly established boundaries may be affecting your self-esteem
There are different types of limits since each person establishes their own and this is something completely normal and necessary. They are forged based on the values and principles of each individual. In this regard, We can classify them into different types that we will mention below:
When we mention limits, many people misinterpret it and directly think that this refers to imposing our ideas, values, ideologies and criteria on others. It is not about using words as a weapon and forcing the people around us to act as we want Quite the opposite. It’s about establishing healthy boundaries and letting others know exactly what we need without fear of rejection. Likewise, we want to highlight that we cannot forget what others feel and need from us.
How we see others and how we see ourselves has a lot to do with the limits we set. Ultimately, these imaginary lines make up our identity, and consequently, our way of acting and being in the world. Furthermore, it frees us from the aforementioned need to be liked and liked by every person in our environment and thus we manage to make negative feelings such as guilt, anger, or shame disappear and, in turn, increase self-knowledge and self-esteem.
Self-esteem begins to be built during childhood and according to experts, it depends largely on the information that comes to us from our environment, which generally, in the first years of life, is understood from parents and siblings. And indeed, not knowing how to say no is closely related to low self-esteem. Of course, without limits one constantly boycotts oneself and this has negative consequences.
An individual with low self-esteem feels that he or she does not have the right to defend his or her own needs, and therefore, it simply reacts by inhibiting their presentation. Consequently, the person, feeling without this recognition, comes to consider that his or her needs are not as important as those of others and his or her inferiority complex increases.
Going one step further, the lack of limits due to low self-esteem leads to the person not taking their needs into account, doing favors that they do not really feel like doing, establishing relationships of dependency and even abuse and ending up affecting their quality of life. life and personal well-being. Deep down, they are people who do not know each other and are therefore not aware of what they want and need at any given moment.
It is clear that it is a process that needs time and perseverance and, perhaps, the keys to being able to draw the necessary limits and thus improve self-esteem are good communication, respect and empathy.
How to set healthy limits?
First of all, it is important to know ourselves to be clear about our limits. We have to keep in mind that these change depending on the situation and the person we are with. However, it is crucial to have an immovable axis in order to realize when another person or even ourselves are crossing it. Once you have achieved this, it is important to activate the alarms and pay close attention. You must identify those moments that make you feel bad Or, in other words, be aware of the situations in which you are allowing something that takes you off your aforementioned axis.
When it comes to expressing your limits, do so clearly and concisely. Don’t justify yourself, or beat around the bush and look for the right moment to do it. Also, don’t expect people around you to understand your limits right away. Not everyone will react the same way and there is nothing wrong with that. Accept the reaction that the other person may have and avoid feelings of guilt. Remember that it is not your job or your responsibility to constantly make those around you happy.
