Falling in love is always something mysterious, since it appears as a deeply irrational phenomenon based on emotions. It appears suddenly, often without us being able to foresee it, and it changes everything: both how we behave and the way we behave. that we perceive what happens to us.
But something as strange as the desire to form a bond as a couple is the end of that emotional impulse. It is not easy to give an answer about why love ends given that being a phenomenon based on emotions, it is not based on ideas or beliefs, something static and relatively easy to study, but on a combination of unpredictable neural activity, hormones, and interaction with the environment and with those who do it. they inhabit.
However, it is possible to identify different elements that influence the chances of love ending. We are going to talk about them in this article.
Love is one of the human dimensions that has generated the most interest over the centuries, inspiring all types of research and explanatory proposals in both the arts and sciences. It is not for less, since it can become one of the main sources of motivation and meaning for our lives
Naturally, many of these questions focus on the way in which falling in love arises, that phase of life in which it seems that we stop being ourselves and start thinking about something bigger than ourselves, our partner. However, it is also important to wonder about what makes love end. In a way, seeing what can weaken or even kill that loving bond tells us, in retrospect, what the true nature of those feelings was.
Now, love It is a complex phenomenon because there are an almost unlimited number of situations that lead to it The state of not falling in love is the one that occurs by default, in which we have all been, so in practice, almost any context in which one lives relatively well, it is possible for love to appear. However, once falling in love has occurred, it is easier to identify main causes of the end of love. Let’s see what they are.
1. It was just in love
Although it may seem strange, love and falling in love are not the same. The second is a much more specific phenomenon, of short duration, that It usually lasts no more than a few months, between four and six while love lasts much longer.
The fundamental difference between the two is that falling in love is based on a certain tension based on uncertainty about what will happen to the other person and, in general, ignorance about what they are like. In practice, that means that we idealize it.
Thus, it is relatively common that when infatuation fades, and with it goes idealization , there is no love left. In these cases the relationship was probably based on the expectation of having a relationship with an idealized version of the lover.
2. Poor living conditions
The idea that love conquers everything is a myth. Love, like any psychological phenomenon, is linked to the context, and if the situation in which we live is not conducive, the love bond will weaken.
One of the clearest examples of this has to do with harsh working conditions. If you have to work many hours and invest a lot of effort in it it will be more difficult to dedicate time to your partner, and that will generate clear wear and tear that, in the long run, can end the relationship.
3. Monotony
Love always entails significant sacrifices, such as having less time for oneself, investing in common expenses, or exposing oneself more to conflict situations.
This wear and tear, which is guaranteed, can be combined with a feeling of monotony that, in the case of life as a couple, is more noticeable, because when living with another person there are fewer excuses to experience the same thing every day, the same things. habits, the same routines. It should be a lifestyle where opportunities arise to do new things together but this does not always happen, and that is very frustrating.
And living single, monotony can be seen as something over which you have more control, but if it appears in the context of a romantic relationship, the feeling that nothing is going to improve and that boredom is part of the “contract.” ” that unites those two people becomes very evident. Expectations of change for the better lose strength and with them the enthusiasm for the relationship can also go.
4. Communication problems
Living with your partner makes it very easy to turn communication problems into serious problems that end up becoming chronic If significant misunderstandings are generated and these are not managed correctly, a state of suspicion and paranoia may be feeding that goes completely against the logic of what a fluid and functional emotional relationship should be.
