Why Does Sexual Inappetence Arise? 9 Methods To Increase Your Sexual Appetite
Do you suffer from sexual loss? Do you think you have a lack of sexual appetite? Discover the reasons behind this lack of desire to have sex and how to solve it through psychology.
The sexual inappetence It can happen at certain times in your life. On many occasions the desire to have sex with your partner or in other types of relationships can almost disappear. When a person has a low sexual appetite, there can be many reasons behind it. Do you come here to find answers about your lack of sexual desire? The first thing you should know is that your sexual appetite is unique, just as you are unique as a person.
Why do we believe that our lack of sexual appetite is bad?
In it desire or sexual appetite Although it may seem otherwise, comparisons are hateful and are usually the beginning of discomfort. Several aspects are what generate the beginning of a concern that only exacerbates what happens to you: references, expectations, vital moment, and of course, physiological issues that we cannot forget.
On many occasions the loss of sexual appetite It happens when we take references incorrectly, as in porn: what the porn industry offers us is still unreal and when used well, it is very good, since you can bring fantasy to your real life; Adapt what you see by doing it your way and depending on your situation, whatever it may be.
Another reason why we can believe that the sexual inappetence It is bad, it is when our expectations are unrealistic, in terms of quality, quantity, duration, etc. of the sexual relationship: when you forget the moment, the here and now, when you focus on the genital and forget the erotic, when you believe that you are a better lover if you last longer or if you have as many orgasms, etc.
What is sexual appetite?
Desire is the interest you have in making-feeling-having something, whether it is an experience, something material, etc. Therefore, the sexual appetite It is when that interest or energy is oriented towards the sexual, towards pleasure, either individually or with other person(s). We also call this type of desire libido.
He sexual appetite Its ultimate goal is procreation, and also communication and pleasure. Nowadays, communication, the exchange of experiences and the obtaining of pleasure are more present.
He sexual appetite As a means for procreation it has been used by religion and different cultures to limit or reduce sexuality to the purely biological. This idea limits sexual desire to a heterosexual couple of childbearing age and forgets the individual person, and the multiple ways of relating sexually, since it forgets masturbation, homosexuality, that our elders also have sex, etc. .
In this way, when there is sexual appetite This leads you to relate, to interact, to express emotions, feelings and affections.
How is sexual appetite triggered?
In it sexual desire Biological, psychological and sociocultural factors intervene and there must always be a stimulus, whether external or internal: A thought, a caress, a look, a fantasy… That stimulus is very personal and depends on the person, the moment, the context, etc. .
Internally, the stimulus activates your brain so that it understands that it is a sexual signal and triggers a series of physical responses, the excitement of your body. If you add more stimuli, or enhance them, the sexual appetite will increase arousal.
I insist on this point that you sexual appetite It’s unique. It is very important that you observe what stimuli trigger your sexual desire and to do this, I invite you to pay attention to how you react on a physical, mental and emotional level in your daily life. Take note, explore and browse. Of course, there are some limits: respect for the integrity of the other and the certainty that you explore your sexual desire from your freedom, guaranteeing that whoever you do it with also does so from their own freedom and with consent.
Why does sexual loss occur?
There are a series of factors that can contribute to having a lack of sexual appetite or sexual inappetence Among the most common, psychologists highlight the following.
1. It does not appear naturally
A very common mistake is to think that the sexual appetite It arises naturally and spontaneously. Sexual desire must be sought, encouraged and cared for. In this way, when faced with a loss of sexual appetite, you can always work to encourage sex with your partner or in casual relationships.
2. Your beliefs and previous experiences
At a sociocultural level, and due to religious heritage, many people believe that sex is bad, that it is only for procreation, that masturbating causes blindness, that you can only desire your partner and a very long etc. These beliefs can lead to a sexual inappetence and if you are aware that they are not yours, you will reduce their influence. If you have linked your sexual appetite to an unpleasant or painful experience from the past, your sexual desire may be affected. In both cases, the help of a psychology professional will help you recover your sexual desire, working on beliefs and possible traumatic experiences.
The situation you are in is important for the desire to arise. Sometimes, the situation is what generates a lot sexual morbidity and therefore, a lot of sexual appetite. Other times, if you consider that it is not the time, place, or person, this can generate a certain lack of sexual desire.
4. The object of desire
If you know which one it is; whether it is real or, however, unattainable; If it is healthy and acceptable for us and/or for the person with whom we want to put it into practice…
It is essential, therefore, that you know yourself to manage, as you wish, your own sexual appetite
Causes of sexual inappetence
There are a series of causes that can contribute to a person expressing phrases like ‘I don’t feel like sex ‘. According to psychologists we can differentiate the following.
On a biological level
He sexual appetite It is affected by metabolic or chronic diseases, hormonal alterations, stress, overweight, etc. Some diseases such as diabetes, cancer or cardiac pathologies. Menopause also affects sexual desire in women.
On a psychological level
What you want, how much and how is closely related to your emotional state: if you are in a stressful situation, facing a life change, if your emotional state is low or depressed, if you suffer from anxiety, etc. sexual appetite is reduced. If you are in a relationship and what it is like, at what time, etc. It affects the state of tiredness, monotony, wanting to satisfy the other person, previous unpleasant experiences, etc.
Certain pharmacological treatments, such as antidepressants, affect both desire and orgasm. Lack of vitamins can also cause this sexual inappetence
Can I lack sexual appetite?
In order to know if you really suffer from a problem that requires professional consultation, you must understand that sexual loss of appetite has different degrees.
Primary
If you have no capacity to have sexual fantasies and there are few behaviors with a sexual purpose. It occurs from adolescence and worsens in adults. It especially affects women who have never had a sexual appetite enough.
Secondary
Those people who have enjoyed a normal desire, but they lose interest in sexual behavior.
Generalized
The affected person experiences sexual inappetence both towards your partner and towards other people.
Situational
The person does not experience a sexual appetite towards your partner, but towards other people.
Because multiple factors affect it, you cannot prevent sexual inappetence Knowing the factors and being an active part in which you can manage will help you maintain your sexual appetite at an optimal level.
The point is that you compare yourself based on your own experience. If you have had one lack of appetite that you think may be affecting you on an emotional and personal level, it is advisable to go to a professional psychologist.
How to recover sexual appetite?
There are a series of tips that you can follow to end your sexual inappetence and re-experience the desire to have sex. Among the most recommended are the following.
In order to leave sexual loss behind, it is important that you focus on investigating why it arises. The reasons behind this lack of sexual appetite They can be useful for many other aspects that may be affecting you in your daily life.
2. Get out of your comfort zone
Give yourself time, look for the erotic, the preliminaries, the signs of affection, the invitation to contact, look for soft and conscious contact and avoid focusing on the purely sexual and genital. Seek pleasure for pleasure’s sake, enjoy it without further pretension, removing the orgasm from the focus of attention: The key to reaching orgasm is not to chase it.
3. Research your sexuality
If you don’t have a stable partner, research your sexuality. Reserve a weekly time to explore your sexuality through the 5 senses with the aim of discovering your body, its sensations, your own pleasure beyond the genitals.
4. Cultivate sexual appetite
If you have a partner, look for quality time to cultivate sexual desire Have a date, reserving the time you dedicate, seduce, propose subtly, and let whatever happens happen. Look for the erotic more than the genital. As a couple it is very important to communicate without demanding.
5. Get to know yourself
Know your body, what you like, what excites you, learn to see yourself, value yourself, and like yourself.
6. Communicate
Express what you like, dare to ask for it and accept your sexual partner’s requests; negotiate the conditions for joint desire and pleasure to arise.
7. Choose the type of relationship you want
In a relationship, pleasure, tenderness and affection are shared. So avoid toxic relationships or those that do not allow open communication.
8. Have healthy habits
Keep your physical body healthy and active by doing regular physical exercise. Physical activity improves mood and with mood, improves libido. Avoid tobacco and alcohol, as they are depressants of the nervous system. Maintain a balanced diet, low in fat.
9. Manage your stress
Stress can lead to a situation of sexual inappetence Therefore, it can be a good help to practice emotional self-control techniques to manage stress. Meditation, yoga, mindfulness, etc.
Can I treat my sexual loss?
The good news is that yes, whatever happens to you. First, check what is generating it. As you have seen, there are many factors that are within anyone’s reach and that, with enthusiasm and proactivity, you can work on without help. For everything to work well, the transition from desire to pleasure must be full of pleasant stimuli, both individually and if you want to find sexual desire with someone. People with a lack of sexual desire do not feel these reactions on the road. Couples therapy and sex therapy can be helpful. In these cases, sexology specialists will help the patient, as well as psychology specialists who are experts in these areas.
The sexual inappetence It can arise for many reasons and reveal information about our mental and physical health. Therefore, it is important to pay attention to this lack of sexual appetite. Enjoying our most intimate relationships is also an important part of our lives.
