Why Does The Same Thing Always Happen To Me In My Relationships?
After several failures in relationships, there comes a time in life when you can allow yourself the luxury of wondering why the same thing always happens to you in love…
After several failures in relationships, there comes a time in life when you can allow yourself the luxury of wondering why the same thing always happens to you in love, why it always goes wrong, why you can’t find that person with the one to share your laughter, your crying, your caresses, those moments when we need to lean on someone, why it always seems like everything is going great and suddenly love ends, why she seemed like the person to spend the day with. rest of your life and suddenly it changes… All these questions should lead us to a single question, could it be that the problem is not them and it is me?
When we start a relationship, everything is wonderful, blindly believing that we have found the ideal love that combines passion, the desire for the unknown, the desire to possess the other person… and it is at this stage where we are no longer honest with ourselves. that we tend to idealize the other person, building in them what we would like them to be and they are not. That is where the biggest problem lies, that we are living an idyllic and fantasy relationship but not real and therefore the probability that it will work could be questioned.
In this first stage, falling in love absorbs us in such a way that even if someone tried to open our eyes, it would be very complicated, since we do not want to listen because the moment we live is a dream from which we do not want to wake up, although unfortunately that is going to happen. Sooner than later. We could call it a time of cognitive irrationality or emotional debauchery in which we only want to love, spend a lifetime at your side and for time not to run out.
One of the reasons why falling in love decreases its intensity, apart from all those already known on a physical level, is because we cannot live forever with that mask on in which we want to show the best of ourselves, and even show a person that we really are not, and therefore little by little we are lowering our guard and above all, we are decreasing all the fantasy that we had projected towards our partner and seeing them as the perfect person, to begin to know the real person with whom we have shared this honeymoon
It is at this moment when we leave falling in love behind to move on to a more rational love accepting what we dislike, negotiating what we want to modify, officially introducing ourselves to a new person that we do not know because now we see them without the blindfold on, and it is in that moment and not in another where we will decide Whether to continue on a path of personal and couple growth or we will renounce all of this and enter a stage of reproaches and blaming, excusing ourselves with phrases like: “it has changed”, “it wasn’t like that before”, “it’s just that…”
And we?
And this is where I wanted to get to, do we ever stop to think about how we are in the context of a relationship, instead of talking and criticizing the other? If we start to analyze all our past relationships, it is very likely that we will find a common pattern in all of them, which could be the reasons why we get angry with our partner, how we react when something upsets us, what bothers us about the other person, why we decide to end a relationship that we think is not working, etc.
So, if we observe that history repeats itself, is it a coincidence that we always find people with the same characteristics to make us angry in the same way or is it that we have a problem that has not yet been resolved and that we were not aware of?
It is evident that we can all suffer heartbreak or that a relationship does not work as we thought, but if your case is one of those that repeats itself over and over again with different people, you should consider listen more to what your insides say and why he says it, there you can find many answers.
Finally, I would like to invite all of you who are having a difficult time with your partner to become aware of yourselves in your relationship to be able to understand the person who accompanies you on this path that no one said was easy and grow together towards a serene and conscious love.
