Is physical punishment a useful tool to educate? Discipline helps us correct and have control of our children’s behavior. Discover the disadvantages of physical punishment.
Discipline helps us correct and have control of our children’s behavior. However, many equate the discipline concept with punitive methods such as physical punishment.
Smacking, spanking, slapping are forms of physical punishment that are frequent and accepted by parents to correct and control their children. Furthermore, since the immediate effect of physical punishment is usually the child’s obedience, it is likely that parents will tend to use it in the future.
But this types of punishments for children Are they really effective? Does not using them mean permissiveness and lack of control? Although physical punishment or corporal punishment has an immediate effect on a child’s behavior, it is not the best way to instill discipline.
Why is physical punishment bad?
Spanking or slapping teaches the child that aggression is a good way to get what we want and to modify the behavior of other people. If a child receives a slap for touching something that is not his, the child will most likely repeat that behavior. When someone takes something from him, he will respond in the same way that he has seen at her house. For this reason, the children punished They receive a model that is not good for the development of their personality.
1. It is perceived as unfair
He punishment It is perceived as unfair and arbitrary by the children. Which makes the minor appear increasingly defiant. It also damages the child’s self-esteem and causes them to distance themselves further from their parents. Corporal punishment is seen by children as a challenge to parental authority.
2. They get used to it quickly
Children quickly get used to slap or slap which is why they are becoming less and less effective and parents have to progressively increase their frequency and intensity to achieve the initial effects.
3. It doesn’t help you understand the message
He corporal punishment It does not help the child internalize and understand the message that you want to convey, but rather it teaches him that he should not behave in a certain way, that he should not touch something, etc. And only in the presence of the people who apply the punishment.
How does physical punishment affect children?
There are no arguments in favor of physical punishment since this is a resource that parents should not use. Corporal punishment can affect children not only physically but also psychologically.
1. We damage your self-esteem
With the use of the violence to educate We only manage to reduce their self-esteem, generating feelings of little worth. In the long run it influences the mental health of minors who end up developing anxiety or depression, along with very poor expectations about themselves, who they are and their abilities.
2. Violence is normalized
He physical punishment It does not educate, it only serves to make them submit to the rules, for fear of greater punishment, or on the contrary they may develop a feeling of wanting to transgress the rules, adopting violent behavior towards those who attack them and by extension towards those who attack them. others, because by hitting what we are transmitting to them is that the law of the strongest prevails, of the one who prevails. In this way, violence is incorporated as a lifestyle, having a negative view of people and society as a whole. The world is perceived as threatening, since distrust has been fostered.
3. Deteriorates family relationships
He physical punishment It deteriorates family relationships and there is no communication between its members, since impulsive behavior and reflection prevail. You grow up with difficulties in self-control of your emotions.
How to educate well without punishment?
More and more, society as a whole is becoming aware that punishments for children They are not useful for educating. We are beginning to understand that it is still a violent act to perhaps correct another violent act, which is an inconsistency. Being coherent is a basic principle for adults to take into account as educators. Consistency with what we say and what we do, because it is often more polite with our behavior and how we resolve conflicts. In case there is still any doubt, the use of physical punishment or insults are humiliating acts that provoke in children feelings of inferiority, anger, sadness, feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Also guilt.
He physical punishment and the humiliations occur due to the lack of educational resources to face a challenge that their children set for them with their inappropriate behavior. Some parents justify their attitude as an educational correction, but hitting or humiliating can never be educational, it is a violent act by an adult towards a minor, with very negative consequences that mark evolutionary development forever. The psychologist is the professional in charge of helping parents find resources to face the educational challenges that their children set for them with their behavior.
Many parents believe that not using physical punishment is synonymous with a lack of discipline, excessive permissiveness, or their children not learning to respect authority. All of these are erroneous beliefs, there are many other more effective strategies to correct and control the behavior of children such as positive reinforcement, explanation of what is right and wrong, response cost, the appropriate establishment of rules and limits, which do not They damage family relationships and promote the autonomy of the minor. Furthermore the corporal punishment They do not make problem children learn what is wrong with their behavior. It is for this reason that these types of punishment do not have good results.