Why Don’t I Feel Comfortable With My Friends? 7 Reasons Why You Feel This Way

Friends are there to let off steam in those moments when we don’t feel good about ourselves or to gain strength in the face of adversity. But, sometimes friendships don’t make us feel completely good, and this may indicate that something is wrong in the bond.

‘I don’t feel comfortable with my friends’: How to detect it?

Not feeling comfortable with friends It may mean some problems that you should try to solve. But, to know if this sensation may indicate a problem in the relationship, you must look at what you experience:

• You feel exhausted: If your friendship means that you constantly feel exhausted in front of this person, it is possible that there is a problem in your relationship that you need to solve.
• You make too many sacrifices: When the sacrifices are too ‘uncompensated’ in a friendship relationship, it is normal for you to feel uncomfortable with this person.
• You experience anxiety: One of the signs that may indicate that you feel uncomfortable with a person is precisely experiencing anxiety, fatigue or frustration when you are with this person.
• You worry too much: It is normal that, in some cases, people worry about others. But, when this feeling ends up being constant, perhaps there is a problem that you should face.
• You can’t be yourself: Discomfort around friends can also come from feeling like you are not yourself with these people or even that you have to censor thoughts and feelings to feel ‘accepted’.
• You don’t enjoy time with them: Obviously, discomfort also makes you stop enjoying time with these people.

These could be some signs that indicate that you really you are not very comfortable with your friends In these cases, the problem with the relationship can be both on your part, since perhaps you are in a bad time or facing a mental health disorder, or on the part of the connection itself. Therefore, when in doubt, it is always advisable to go to a professional psychologist, especially if this discomfort is affecting you.

Why don’t I feel comfortable with my friends?

Maybe your friend seems to have more problems than others. Or, on the other hand, he is going through a difficult time in his life and is not coping too well. In fact, maybe you are not feeling comfortable with this person because it shows these attitudes:

1. It is always in crisis: As we have said, it is normal that sometimes people go through ‘bad times’. On the contrary, if this person is constantly in this situation, it is normal that you end up feeling uncomfortable in front of them.
2. He is not interested in you: If a friend is not interested in you, it is normal that you end up becoming exhausted when you are with this person. The reason is that you see that in the event that you have a problem, you cannot count on this person.
3. Always the center of attention: Even if your problems are the reason for a conversation, this person will always try to end up being the focus of all the attention. That is, his problems will always be bigger, worse or more extreme than yours.
4. Makes you feel guilty or manipulates you: When someone makes you feel guilty or manipulates you into making your own decisions, this can lead to this relationship tiring you out mentally and physically.
5. He is not happy for you: Because he struggles with envy and jealousy, this person is never happy about your achievements.
6. He doesn’t show you gratitude: If even though you do a lot for this person, they do not show you any gratitude, this can also make you feel tired of continuing with this relationship.
7. You have self-esteem problems: People with very low self-esteem often need constant reassurance. This can end up making you feel exhausted because they require a lot of your attention.

In these situations, it is completely normal that you may end up tired of your relationships with others. Therefore, if you feel this way with your friends, it is important that you talk to them or take control of the matter.

What to do if you don’t feel comfortable with your friends?

Although having empathy and compassion for others are positive skills, when they end up affecting you because others take advantage of you, you should try to stop this situation. In fact, if this happens constantly, it can be really very exhausting, especially if you are a very sensitive person. In this situation, we recommend that you take the following into account:

1. Refrain from fixing: Don’t try to solve other people’s problems. This is an attitude that will take its toll on you and your relationships in the long run. Therefore, you can always offer support, but you must keep in mind that you are not in charge of solving their problems.
2. Talk about it with the person: If you feel that the relationship with this person is important to you, one of the first steps should be to try to talk about it with this person. In these cases, you should try to communicate it from ‘I feel’ and not from ‘this is reality’.
3. Empower your friends: If your friend has self-esteem problems and therefore turns to you to feel better, try to show him or her that he or she can improve things without you. This does not mean that you do not help him in certain cases, but if this problem continues, perhaps you should recommend that he go to therapy, since this situation is exhausting you.
4. Know your limits and respect them: When a friend is making you feel uncomfortable, perhaps it is precisely because you don’t know how to set limits or perhaps you haven’t thought about what you don’t like being done to you. Given the feeling of discomfort, it is vital that you try to gain some self-awareness and try to respect your own limits.
5. Practice self-care: If you feel that this relationship is affecting you more than it should, it is important that you try to focus on your self-care. For example, going to therapy can help you if you don’t know how to set limits or if you don’t understand why you feel that way with your friends.
6. Consider distancing yourself: In some cases where this discomfort is not affecting you more than it should, perhaps a good alternative would be to distance yourself from this friendship for a while.

Although it is important to be empathetic with others, when this goes against you it is vital that you try to take measures to take care of both your mental and emotional health. You must keep in mind that before others, the priority must always be you.