Why Knowing How To Take Care Of Yourself Is Key In Parenting

Self-care is a concept that is increasingly talked about. It seems that, fortunately, we are beginning to understand and validate the importance of taking care of ourselves, taking care of ourselves. This, without a doubt, is not selfishness, although for a long time it has been able to generate certain conflicts or arguments.

However, the topic of self-care sometimes gets complicated, especially when parenting also comes into play. At this point, it is common for many mothers—especially—to feel guilty if they allow themselves these spaces or that they do not allow them for various reasons.

Throughout this article we will explain why it is so important to know how to take care of yourself during parenting. We will talk about self-care and its relationship with parenting, as well as the benefits that self-care can have for the entire family.

What do we call self-care?

There are many people who justify not taking care of themselves due to lack of time or resources of any other kind. It is a common mistake to think that self-care is synonymous with great acts and investments of both time and money..

While it is true that spending a day at a spa receiving massages or doing any other pleasant activity can be a good way to take care of and care for ourselves, they are not the only ones. It is crucial to understand that self-care goes beyond all this and that we can take care of ourselves in many ways in a short time and with few resources as well.

Taking care of ourselves basically implies being able to listen to us and observe us. This allows us to know what our physical and emotional needs are depending on the moment and the situation. Becoming aware of our real needs is what allows us to carry out optimal self-care.

In this sense, self-care includes all those things we do to promote our physical, mental and emotional health. With this in mind, it is possible to understand self-care as something quite broad that ranges from our lifestyle habits – including aspects such as nutrition, hygiene, physical activity and sleep – to spheres such as the emotional and spiritual.

Why is knowing how to take care of yourself key in parenting?

Despite the great change that is taking place at a social level, both in gender roles and in the conceptualization of parenting, there is still a long way to go. As we mentioned before, on many occasions it is still thought that, when there are children, they are the only and exclusive priority, especially in the case of mothers.

However, it is important to understand that it is key that the adults in charge of these creatures can take care of themselves because this directly affects their parenting skills. While it is true that the physical and emotional well-being of minors is the responsibility of adults and must be prioritized, it cannot be the only thing that matters and “at any price.”

On the one hand, it is necessary to emphasize that listening to ourselves allows us to know what we need and only in this way can we try to serve ourselves. For example, identifying that we are becoming saturated will allow us to ask our partner for help – if the situation allows it – and to be able to withdraw for a few moments to return to our state of regulation.

There are many mothers—especially, although it also happens to some fathers—who They feel overwhelmed and exhausted because they prioritize their children and parenting so much that they forget about themselves. There are many messages that women have heard and internalized about motherhood and the need for absolute sacrifice that it entails.

All of this has a strong impact on all aspects of your life. The exhaustion that occurs also interferes with the way they care for their children. This fact can contribute to intense and unpleasant emotions, such as guilt or the feeling of not doing well enough. It is easy for this to become a cycle that is difficult to get out of..

As if all this were not enough and generated little pressure, it is also crucial to internalize that our children learn more from what they see than from what we tell them. In other words, seeing that caregivers prioritize their care—without neglecting the children’s real needs—is a great, very positive example that helps them understand the importance of self-care for themselves as well and allow themselves to do so without guilt when they are older.

Benefits of self-care for the family

We have already seen that adult self-care, or lack thereof, has a strong impact on family well-being. Whether for or against. If we focus on the benefits we see when fathers and mothers allow themselves to find moments to take care of themselves, we will see that they are not few.

On the one hand, when adults can take care of themselves—whether dedicating themselves to 5 minutes a day or an entire afternoon a week—greater emotional regulation is observed in them. This allows them to more adequately manage stress and adverse or challenging situations that may arise on a daily basis.

On the other hand, this greater emotional regulation in parents allows them to care for their children in a more regulated, loving and compassionate way. This, without a doubt, generates a calmer and more harmonious environment in the home that encourages the strengthening of intra-family ties.

Another of the great benefits of parental self-care is the message it transmits to children. In addition to integrating the importance of taking care of themselves, they are also allowed to explore different ways of doing so and this, without a doubt, enhances their self-knowledge and autonomy.

Strategies to integrate self-care during parenting

We have already commented previously that it is not necessary to make large investments of time or money in self-care. It’s great that we allow ourselves certain care if we can, but it is not a sine qua non condition.

Self-care can also occur in “small” everyday details and, in fact, these usually have a noticeable impact in a short time. In this sense, You can consider aspects such as exercise, nutrition, meditation or having quality time for yourself in which to carry out a pleasurable activity..

For this to happen, it will often be necessary to delegate certain tasks or even ask other people for help. Sometimes it will be possible with the collaboration of the couple and, in other circumstances, other people may be required.

For some people this point can be really complex for various reasons. However, we cannot forget that, despite the fact that it is the most common thing in our society, it has only been a very short time since parenting falls solely on the parents – in the event that there is more than one. Until then, parenting took place more in community. Hence the importance of having a good support network to rely on.