Why Willpower Is Not Always Enough To Deal With Psychological Problems

We can understand “willpower” as that social construct that is so often referred to, very similar to “good attitude”, “working hard for something” or “putting desire into things”

In recent years, an attitude of positivity has been widely promoted that sometimes goes to the extreme, reducing the chances of success of any company to a mere matter of “getting into it.”

Most people don’t have problems with their “willpower.”

The truth is that Many people with psychological problems of any kind have perfectly normal willpower, a very good attitude, etc Managers of large companies who develop anxiety or cocaine addiction problems, mothers and fathers.

Would you say that people in charge of a large organization or a family have little willpower? Most of us would answer a resounding “No” for an answer, because to do what they do on a daily basis, a lot of that social construct called “willpower” is needed.

So, The source of the psychological problems that these people may have in their specific context does not seem to be their lack of willpower

A position of blame

Many people who come to therapy (for almost any issue), when asked what they believe is the origin of their problems, They say that it must be their willpower, that they are not strong people, and that they have come to therapy to “learn to be stronger.”

Due to socialization, many people come to therapy with these postures of self-blame, low self-esteem, and low sense of self-efficacy.

These situations could also be explained from the perspective of the negative internal locus of control. This means that, when faced with determining events, the person has a tendency to point to themselves as primarily responsible for the events and their results, but mostly when the events are negative, and very rarely with victories or positive results.

Explained in a more colloquial way, a person’s internal dialogue can often be similar to things like “I am weak”, “it’s all my fault”, “if I were different, everything would be different”, “I have no willpower”. “, or “I haven’t put enough effort into it, that’s why this happened.” But Things are usually much more complex than a simple question of “wanting.”

Not everything is a matter of desire

Yes, motivational phrases can encourage us and make us feel good at certain moments. In many cases, in a very subtle way, That speech of “if you want you can” can make the person think “I couldn’t, that’s because I didn’t want enough.” And unfortunately, not everything always depends on our attitude.

Having a proactive and energetic attitude towards life helps, it can improve things in many contexts, but it does not always explain most of the success. In any situation, there will be a multitude of factors that are far from our control.

So, No matter how much we want to do something, there is always the possibility that things will not turn out the way we would like

Not everything depends on our attitude, the context is important, and sometimes there will be elements of the context that it will not be up to us to change. We can, we must change elements of our contexts, but it will not always be under our choice. Sometimes things simply go wrong.

Anyone can say beautiful phrases, a professional can do much more

A psychologist is not going to reduce his years of training and experience to repeating motivational phrases from books and social networks If these things were enough to achieve significant changes in people’s lives, the world would be very different right now.

If you have psychological problems of any kind, a competent psychologist will help you put a proactive attitude towards events, yes, but they will also help you to Identify those elements and factors that do not depend on you , and thus develop an attitude of acceptance and realistic optimism. Not only that, but to establish patterns of change adapted to the unique context of the person, taking into account the latest scientific consensus regarding human behavior.

Sometimes, despite trying hard for something, we may not achieve it. And with this attitude, the person will not fall so easily into blaming and punishing self-talk

I wish all things were just a matter of willpower. We can’t do everything. We can do a lot, but not with everything.

Real psychotherapy, more than motivational phrases

If you are going through a bad personal moment, a good psychology professional can help you improve things. If you think you need help, visit my website luismiguelreal.es to learn more about my psychotherapy services (also online).