Your Partner Could Be A Psychopath: Keys To Identifying Him
Generally we have the word “psychopath” associated with the typical serial killer in novels or movies such as Hannibal Lecter, or with real and famous psychopaths such as Ted Bundy or Edmund Kemper.
However, this association is a mistake, since not all psychopaths commit blood crimes; In fact, there is a disturbing number of people who have a markedly psychopathic personality and have never killed anyone and will never go to jail
Given the statistics, It is very possible that you know some of these people with strong psychopathic traits, and it is likely that you do not have the slightest suspicion of the true nature that hides behind that charming smile and that impeccable image.
These “integrated psychopaths” function like a virus that has managed to circumvent society’s immune system; They are skilled at hiding their true nature, making them difficult to detect. One of the leading experts on psychopathy, Dr. Robert Hare, refers to them as “snakes in suits.”
They are aware of the damage they cause
A psychopath is a being with a perverse personality. Something is wrong with your way of empathizing , is aware of the damage he causes, but far from feeling pity or remorse, he gloats about it. Unlike most of us, we do not enjoy the good of others (rather, we feel envy and resentment) and, even more, we tend to enjoy causing suffering in others, whether for fun or out of pure boredom. Any appearance of compassion you can show is a show, a mask.
The psychopath has a certain intuition that something is not working well in him, he knows that he is different knows that most people are good and assume good in others, and takes advantage of this, pretending to be an ordinary person.
How to identify it
Some people, If they know it, they enter into romantic relationships with a person with these characteristics Now, if your partner is a psychopath, you will realize this while living together.
The beginning of the relationship with these people is usually intense and at a faster pace than the rest of your relationships have been. The psychopath will try to live with you as soon as possible, generally he will move into your house.
The way of thinking of a psychopath is deviant relative to most of us. Your emotional world is much more restricted; However, they have a good adjustment to reality (that is, they do not suffer from hallucinations or delusions) and they do not feel fear like most people. In fact, some barely feel fear, which often leads them to reckless behavior.
Pay attention to their behavior
If you think your partner is a psychopath, don’t try to understand how he thinks, he is too different from you for you to understand, and he won’t really show you his way of thinking. It is much more useful for you to pay attention to how he acts and the contrast between what he says and what he does
At the beginning of the relationship, he will use a manipulation strategy known as “love bombing.” This seduction technique is typically used by cults, and generates a state of almost drunkenness in the victim when he or she is showered with signs of interest, praise, positive attention, closeness and affection In the case of your psychopathic partner, it is all a lie, it is a screen that hides some perverse intention. He’s not really interested in you.
This initial experience, this bombardment of love, is burned into the victim’s mind It’s like a high, like a drug. This feeling of initial ecstasy is very difficult to erase and victims will desperately seek to feel the euphoria of the beginning again. The psychopath will play with this.
A psychopath is a person who He is unstoppable when it comes to getting what he wants The end justifies the means, he will do whatever it takes to have what he wants, and it is better that you do not get in the way of his desires, because if you get in the way and he cannot avoid you, he will simply get you out of the way without the slightest remorse.
On the other hand, a psychopath does not assume responsibilities, He doesn’t feel guilty or apologize for anything if you do not see it necessary for your interests. He justifies his faults, blames others (he blames you) or circumstances, anything rather than asking for forgiveness.
Besides, wants and needs to be in control, does not accept the feeling of feeling vulnerable If you see her cry, be sure that her tears are fake; You can cry out of frustration, out of pure anger, but not out of grief or guilt, because you don’t feel these things.
The psychopath believes that he deserves everything, that he is special and has more rights than others. His narcissism and sense of grandiosity make him believe that he will never be caught and some of the most relevant criminals have been hunted thanks to this oversight.
Also It is typical that psychopaths never completely trust anyone ; They transfer their perverse nature to others so that they never completely let their guard down.
He will buy you with false promises. He lies compulsively, even when cornered. You never know what he really thinks. He will deceive you with so much brazenness and conviction that you will come to doubt yourself.
In addition, he often talks about his old relationships, calling them crazy, unstable, toxic or any other label he can. suggest that he has had very bad luck with relationships and that, finally, you have appeared in his life so that you both can be happy Then his speech will change and he will begin to question you, devalue you, disrespect you and send you negative messages towards you. This is the discard phase, it indicates that he has already tired of you and most likely has already changed you for another person. And you are not in his plans, now what he wants is to hurt you.
Will use triangulation and projection : will try to generate jealousy in you, introducing a third person into the relationship, but generally in a subtle way. He will intentionally make you suspicious of him and then deny everything and accuse you of your jealousy and your need to control. Many times he will question your mental stability and try to unsettle you. He will accuse you of being unfaithful.
They may try to isolate you from your family and/or separate you from your friends , or maybe he gets along very well with your family and everyone finds him charming, implying that you are “the bad guy” in the relationship. When he gets tired of you, he will begin to denigrate you, attacking your self-confidence with a first subtle and then direct bombardment of disqualifications, gradually undermining your self-esteem.
Teamgood He will manipulate you through guilt and dependency to have you at his mercy , this is what he has always wanted since the beginning of the relationship. He needs to feel powerful and exploit others.
You will notice that he maintains an impeccable image, maintains a way of being that It looks charming from the outside and it is likely that if you tell the people around you about the way he treats you, they will not believe you. It seems that only you see the hidden side of the psychopath, and that increases the feeling that you are going crazy, but that is not the case.
To do?
If you observe several of these traits in your partner, it is likely that you have found an exploitative person of the worst kind. Maintaining a relationship with a person like this puts your mental health in serious danger
You can overcome the trauma of continued abuse of this type, but it is very difficult for you to do it alone. The more time you have shared with such a person, the more likely it is that this relationship has left significant psychological consequences. Seek specialized professional support.
Piñuel, I. (2019). Amor Zero, how to survive loves with psychopaths. Madrid: The sphere of books. Junker, S. (2017). Victims of destructive cults. Mind&Brain, 87: pp. 62 – 68.
