Seeing a psychologist can be a deeply transformative experience. For many people, it’s a space of emotional relief, personal insight, and healing. But while therapy encourages openness, some individuals feel unsure about what they “should” or “must” disclose. Contrary to popular belief, not everything needs to be shared with a psychologist—at least not immediately or at all, depending on your comfort level and therapeutic goals.
This doesn’t mean avoiding important issues or hiding aspects of your mental health. It simply means that therapy should be a space that respects your pace, privacy, and autonomy. There’s no moral obligation to share everything on the first session or to discuss matters that you feel are unrelated to your therapy objectives.
Here are ten examples of things you do not have to tell a psychologist unless you feel ready, or unless it’s directly relevant to your mental health work.
Psychologists are trained to provide a nonjudgmental space, but that doesn’t mean you need to share your deepest secrets right away. Whether it’s something you regret or a shameful moment from your past, you’re not required to divulge anything that feels too painful or premature. Therapy works best when trust is gradually built over time.
2. Irrelevant Details of Your Sex Life
If your therapy isn’t related to sexual health or relationship counseling, you’re not obligated to go into the specifics of your sexual behavior or preferences. While topics around intimacy can be part of therapy, you can choose when and if to bring them up—and only if you believe it’s important to your emotional growth.
3. All Your Opinions About the Therapist
It’s normal to have thoughts or even criticisms about your psychologist, but you’re not obligated to share everything you think or feel about them. That said, if something is affecting your trust or comfort in the therapeutic relationship, it can be helpful to address it. However, superficial opinions or discomforts don’t need to be voiced if they aren’t interfering with your progress.
4. Past Criminal Activity (If Irrelevant)
Unless it directly relates to your treatment (e.g., guilt, trauma, anxiety), you are not required to discuss past minor criminal actions, especially those that are not ongoing or dangerous. However, if there’s an active threat to others or yourself, psychologists may be legally required to intervene.
5. Religious or Political Beliefs
Your faith and politics are personal. Unless your beliefs are a source of distress, conflict, or identity-related concern that you wish to explore, you don’t have to explain or justify your ideological views in therapy. Your psychologist is there to help you—not to agree or disagree with your worldviews.
6. Your Social Media or Digital Activity
Unless your use of social media is part of your reason for seeking help (e.g., cyberbullying, digital addiction, self-image issues), you are not required to reveal how you spend your time online or to share your digital behavior in detail.
7. What Others Have Told You in Confidence
Your therapy is about you—not others. If someone has entrusted you with private information, you do not need to share it with your psychologist unless it directly affects your mental well-being. Confidentiality matters in both directions.
8. Childhood Experiences You Don’t Remember Clearly
Some people feel pressured to dig into their childhood—even when they can’t remember much. While early experiences can shape emotional development, you are not expected to provide accurate childhood details. Your current experiences and emotions are just as valid.
9. Diagnoses or Labels from Unverified Sources
If a friend, online quiz, or self-help book “diagnosed” you with something, you don’t need to report it unless you find it relevant. A psychologist can conduct their own professional assessment, and self-diagnoses often lead to unnecessary anxiety or confusion.
10. Every Single Thought or Feeling
Therapy is not about confessing every idea that pops into your mind. You can prioritize what you want to focus on, and filter what feels useful, manageable, and safe to explore. You are in control of the narrative.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology For we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What should not be told to a psychologist, we recommend that you enter our category of clinical psychology.
FAQs About What You Don’t Have to Tell a Psychologist
Can withholding information hurt my therapy process?
It depends. If you’re withholding something that’s central to your struggles, it might delay progress. But pacing yourself and choosing what to share when you’re ready is completely valid.
Is it okay to lie to my psychologist?
While honesty builds trust, it’s not uncommon for clients to avoid or mask certain truths early in therapy. If you’ve lied out of fear or shame, you can always revisit that topic when you feel safer.
Do psychologists expect me to talk about trauma right away?
No. Most therapists understand that trauma takes time to process and won’t push you to discuss it until you’re emotionally prepared.
Can I have a successful therapy experience without revealing everything?
Absolutely. Therapy is most effective when it’s a collaboration—not a forced interrogation. Many people achieve healing and insight without diving into every personal detail.
How do I know what I should share?
If something is causing you distress, confusion, or recurring emotional pain, it’s worth exploring. Your psychologist can help guide you through what matters most, but you always set the pace.
References
American Psychological Association. Understanding psychotherapy. Retrieved from: https://www.apa.org/topics/psychotherapy/enentando-la-psicotherapy
Rogers, CR (1951). Client-Centred Therapy: its current practice, implications, and theory. HOUGTON MIFFLIN.
