10 Tips To Encourage A Person With Depression From A Distance
Supporting someone with depression is challenging—but when you’re not physically close to them, it can feel even more overwhelming. You may wonder if you’re doing enough, saying the right things, or making any real difference at all. The truth is, your presence—even from afar—can be incredibly powerful.
Depression often isolates people, making them feel unseen or disconnected. Whether you’re separated by cities, countries, or simply living different lives, you can still be a lifeline for someone you care about.
Here are 10 practical tips to help you encourage and support someone with depression, even if you can’t be there in person.
Consistency is key. A simple message like “Just thinking about you” can mean the world to someone who feels invisible. Don’t wait for them to reach out first—they often won’t.
Make it part of your routine to send a text, voice note, or short message every few days. You’re not trying to fix them—you’re reminding them they matter.
Avoid minimizing their pain. Phrases like “it could be worse” or “just try to be positive” can unintentionally invalidate their emotions.
Instead, try saying things like, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you,” or “That sounds really hard—thank you for trusting me with this.”
3. Encourage Small Wins, Not Big Changes
Depression makes even the smallest tasks feel monumental. Instead of suggesting big solutions, celebrate small efforts.
Say things like, “You got out of bed today—that’s a big deal,” or “I’m proud of you for texting me back.” These affirmations can help rebuild a fragile sense of self-worth.
4. Send Thoughtful Messages or Gifts
Physical distance doesn’t mean emotional distance. Sending a handwritten note, a playlist, or their favorite snack can show you care.
Even sharing an uplifting meme, a calming video, or a photo of something that made you think of them can create a sense of connection.
5. Avoid Toxic Positivity
People with depression don’t need to be told to “just smile” or “look on the bright side.” That often worsens the guilt they already feel.
Instead, offer your presence, not platitudes. Say, “You don’t need to feel okay for me to be here. I love you as you are.” That reassurance goes a long way.
6. Help Them Connect to Professional Support
From afar, you might not be able to intervene directly, but you can still guide them toward help.
Gently ask, “Have you considered talking to a therapist? I can help you look for one.” Or, offer online mental health resources, crisis lines, or directories tailored to their country or region.
When someone is depressed, time can feel endless and hopeless. Making gentle, low-pressure plans can give them something to look forward to.
Say things like, “Let’s do a movie night over Zoom soon,” or “I’d love to visit you when you’re ready.” Future-focused plans—even loose ones—can plant seeds of hope.
8. Respect Their Silence—but Don’t Disappear
Sometimes, they might not respond. That doesn’t mean they don’t care—it just means they’re struggling. Don’t take it personally.
Keep showing up in small, non-demanding ways. Send a heart emoji, a “thinking of you” note, or a photo of your dog. It reminds them they’re not forgotten, even when they go quiet.
9. Educate Yourself About Depression
The more you understand the condition, the more supportive you can be. Learn about symptoms, treatment, and how depression can affect thinking and behavior.
This helps you avoid common mistakes like giving unhelpful advice or assuming they’re just “lazy” or “overreacting.” Empathy comes from understanding.
10. Take Care of Yourself Too
Supporting someone with depression—especially from a distance—can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to feel helpless or frustrated.
Set boundaries when needed, and lean on your own support system. You’re not abandoning them by protecting your energy; you’re ensuring you can keep being there for the long haul.
FAQs about 10 Tips to Encourage a Person with Depression from a Distance
Can I really help someone with depression if I’m far away?
Yes. Your consistent presence and emotional support can be incredibly meaningful. You don’t have to “fix” them to make a difference.
This is common. Don’t pressure them to reply. Just keep showing up gently and consistently. Their silence isn’t a reflection of your value—it’s a symptom of what they’re going through.
Should I confront them if I think they’re in danger?
If you genuinely believe they’re at risk of self-harm or suicide, seek emergency help in their area. Contact a family member or a local crisis service. It’s better to overreact than to miss the signs.
Is it okay to recommend therapy?
Yes, but do it gently and supportively. Avoid making it sound like an ultimatum. You can offer to help them find a therapist or send links to online therapy services.
How often should I check in?
There’s no perfect frequency, but regular, thoughtful messages—even every few days—can create a sense of safety and connection. The key is consistency, not pressure.
References:
Parra Hernández, P. (2021). Treatment of depression in digital media. Miguel Hernández University of Elche. Faculty of Social and Legal Sciences of Elche.
I’m Emily Williams Jones, a psychologist specializing in mental health with a focus on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. With a Ph.D. in psychology, my career has spanned research, clinical practice and private counseling. I’m dedicated to helping individuals overcome anxiety, depression and trauma by offering a personalized, evidence-based approach that combines the latest research with compassionate care.
