Everyone wants to be happy and live a full life; However, many times we carry out behaviors that do not benefit us or we think in a way that does not help us at all in this regard.
Although there are a series of events beyond our control that we cannot control and that influence how we feel, we do. we can control the way we relate to them
Things we do to ourselves and should avoid
And many times we are ourselves our worst enemies Therefore, in this article, I have prepared a list of things we do to ourselves that can negatively affect our well-being.
So, if you want to be happy, you must stop:
1. Obsess over happiness
We all want to be happy; However, when we become obsessed with happiness, we achieve the opposite. Happiness is found in oneself, not in others, and has a lot to do with valuing what we have, following our path and our desires, and having rational expectations.
2. Being emotionally dependent
Emotional dependence is a consequence of having low self-esteem By depending on other people and giving them your happiness, we feel addicted to their presence. It is a phenomenon that usually occurs in some relationships. If you want to avoid it, you can read this article: “12 tips to overcome emotional dependence”
3. Thinking that you always have the absolute truth
We all have our way of thinking and we have all had different experiences. Believing that everything we think is the only truth is a mistake. This mentality does not allow us to grow and, furthermore, it does not allow us respect other people’s opinions Even if you don’t agree, others may also have valid opinions.
4. The past directs your life
The past is there and we cannot change it, but we can change the way we relate to that moment in our life. We all make mistakes and, therefore, to be happy it is necessary to accept them and learn from them. There is no point dwelling on something that has already happened.
5. Being so hard on yourself
And when we live in the past, it is easy to be hard on ourselves. Therefore, it is necessary to accept (not forget) and stop blaming ourselves for the things we have not liked in our lives. Acceptance is key to grow as people and to enjoy greater emotional well-being.
6. Not being proactive
To enjoy greater emotional well-being it is necessary to be on the move; that is to say. fight for our goals and not standing still waiting for things to happen by themselves
7. Being afraid of uncertainty
One of the most common fears is the fear of uncertainty. It is the fear of not knowing what will happen if we take a risk, so we prefer to stay still, even though we are not having a good time
8. Complain
Complaining is not going to change your life, so there is no use doing it. It is better to analyze why things went wrong and try to change. If you cannot change, it is necessary to accept it.
9. Think negative
Thinking negatively immobilizes us, therefore, we must be optimistic and look to the future with a positive mindset.
10. Control everything
The fear of uncertainty often makes us want to have everything under control so as not to have to expose ourselves to the anxiety that uncertainty creates.
11. Stay in the comfort zone
And this fear of uncertainty forces us to stay in the comfort zone, that is, in that place where we feel comfortable, and which, although it does not benefit us, invites us to stay there indefinitely.
12. Pay attention to your limiting beliefs
Sometimes we think that what we believe is right; but, in reality, it prevents us from growing. These thoughts are called limiting beliefs and we must avoid them. Sometimes we have a belief about something that makes us pessimistic about our possibilities, and when we put ourselves to the test, we realize that it wasn’t that big of a deal. You have to avoid these types of beliefs to be happy.
13. Think about what others think of you
Thinking about what others think of you prevents you from being happy and, furthermore, it makes you waste a lot of energy To be happy it is necessary to look inward and not outward.
14. Blame others
Blaming others can be an excuse for not recognizing that, sometimes, we can be wrong We must keep our feet on the ground and be realistic.
15. Look problems in the face
And blaming others is a way to avoid facing problems. Therefore, if we want to solve things, it is always better to face the problems and be aware that it is possible to change.
16. Blame yourself
Not blaming others does not mean that we should blame ourselves, but rather that we should analyze problems or difficult situations as they are, without looking away, and learn from them to improve our situation. We should not blame ourselves, but rather accept that things happen, whether good or bad.
17. Getting involved in toxic relationships
Toxic relationships can do a lot of damage, but It is not always easy to recognize that we are in a If we tend to go from relationship to relationship and always have the same problem, perhaps it is not someone else’s, but ours.
18. Being afraid of relationships because the previous ones didn’t work out
We can’t go from one extreme to the other either, that is, not having relationships with others because the previous ones have not worked. Each relationship is a world, so if we want to be with someone, it is necessary to work on it.
19. Compete with others
Competing with others can make us extremely unhappy, because Each one has their own virtues and their own defects It is important that we value ourselves as we are and not try to be better than others, but rather follow our own path.
20. Be jealous
Being jealous not only hurts the victim of jealousy, but also the person who is jealous. We must avoid being jealous, and if the problem is in one’s self-esteem, measures must be taken about it
21. Being envious
Envy must be avoided. Although to a greater or lesser extent we can all desire something that another person has, envy cannot be a constant in our lives, because negatively affects our self-esteem and it is not positive for our interpersonal relationships.
22. Being spiteful
Resentment is also not good for ourselves, because It makes us have a lot of anger inside us and causes great suffering to ourselves.
23. Be vengeful
It may seem that resentment and revenge are the same; However, resentment is a thought and revenge is the action that results from that thought of wishing harm to someone who has harmed us. Revenge is usually a bad option.
24. Being afraid of changing
The fear of change is paralyzing and it is not adaptive at all To be happy it is necessary to eliminate it from our lives.
25. Always do the same things
Always doing the same thing can be a symptom of wanting to stay in the comfort zone, therefore it is good to try new things that stimulate us and make us learn new ways of seeing life.
26. Evaluate yourself negatively
Valuing yourself negatively has a disastrous consequence on your emotional balance and psychological well-being. Therefore, you have to accept yourself, just as you are.
27. Be a perfectionist
Perfectionism may seem like a positive behavior and way of thinking, but thinking that everything must always be perfect is an unrealistic belief that causes a lot of suffering.
28. Procrastinate
Procrastinating is not a good option, because… why leave for tomorrow what we can do today? Get used to procrastinating It can have negative consequences, such as causing excessive tasks that can cause stress.
29. Judging others
Judging others is not beneficial for us or for them, especially if we live with prejudices of race, sex, etc.
30. Live far from the present
One of the keys to well-being is to live in the present moment and not in irrational expectations To learn to be in the here and now, it is possible to practice Mindfulness.
- Related article: “What is Mindfulness? The 7 answers to your questions”
31. Not respecting the opinions of others
Another mistake to avoid is being intolerant and not respecting the opinions of others. The lack of tolerance generates unnecessary conflicts
32. Not loving yourself
If tolerance generates conflicts between people, not loving oneself creates internal conflicts that make us feel really bad.