4 Keys To Finding Harmony In A House With Children
“Come on, hurry up, we’re not there, come on! “,” “You haven’t finished the snack yet, what are you waiting for?” everything, voooooy, what do you want to play? Why don’t you want to play with me? But I’m not angry.”
Children soak up the energy we transmit and they end up imitating our emotional responses. Our children do not live in the world of rush like we do, nor do they feel overwhelmed by excess responsibilities. However, they give similar responses of nervousness or restlessness, because they mimic our emotional states. We infect them with our mood and our stress, and then we are surprised when they have tantrums, become irritable or more disobedient.
As adults we get angry and we don’t understand why in the worst moments children disobey even more Possibly we are causing it ourselves without realizing it. For this great reason, harmony in the home begins with our own serenity.
The answer is simpler than you might expect. Creating habits and routines.
Nature has a seasonal rhythm, and people also have it with sleep-wake cycles. Children who live in an environment of habits are calmer because they are certain of what comes next.
However, in homes where parents do not maintain certain routines, children are expectant, accelerate and cannot flow harmoniously.
How can I do it?
Below we will see several keys to achieve create a harmonious environment within our own home:
1. Make sure that the activities to be carried out in your home are predictable
With small children it is better to warn them of what is going to happen, always using the same “previous signals.”
For example, if it is time to wash our hands before eating, we can always sing the same song that indicates that we are going to do so. After the song and the hygiene, They will associate that the time has come to sit down to eat After several sequences, just by hearing the song, children will know what moment it is and what is expected of them.
Although it seems to us parents that it is always the same, it is good for children to live in an environment where they know what is going to happen; Their restlessness subsides and a certain harmony is breathed. When children learn these rhythms, unexpected events decrease, there are fewer disputes, bonds are strengthened, and there is more choice and even time for play.
If routines are altered, tension will appear and haste will boycott harmony. For example, if they call us on the phone, return the call at another time, if the children want to extend park time, know how to politely say that it is time to go and prepare dinner. Although these guidelines may seem rigid, they will help us avoid shouting, anger and disputes.
Children between 6 and 12 years old need to sleep, according to the WHO, ten to twelve hours a day. Those little ones who sleep the amount of time appropriate for their age They have better academic performance and score higher in intelligence. In addition, sleep stimulates growth hormone and promotes the child’s good metabolism, helping her memory and concentration.
At Psicode, we meet parents who come with the demand to reduce their children’s bad behavior. In some cases, as the child’s sleep regulates, she rests more and has an environment of routines, The results observed are surprising
Many times the guilt that parents feel for sending them to bed early and not having time to be with them is the reason for postponing bedtime. However, then those extra minutes cause fatigue the next day to break the harmony at home.
We invite you to do the test, advance your little ones’ bedtime by one hour. You will be surprised not only by how your relationship with them improves but also with your partners.
3. Teach gratitude
Teach them the habit of thanking, being kind and practicing it with the whole family Let them observe how asking for things please or saying thank you helps generate more harmony in the environment.
Being grateful, even internally, for the small things that happen to us, will help them become more optimistic, happier children and capable of looking for challenges and possibilities where others only see problems.
We propose, as an activity, that before going to sleep, we give thanks for several things. We can do this with questions such as: “Why has it been a lucky day for you?”, “What good things have happened to you today?”, “Why would you give thanks today?”
4. Teach to know how to listen to silence
In the society we live in, with access to the Internet, we are constantly overstimulated. Children experience a bombardment of stimuli that makes them intolerant of silence They continually look for that frenetic pace to which they are accustomed, continually asking questions, turning on the television, having “brazed” thoughts that later become mental ruminations.
From time to time, you can enter silence. It is a gateway to serenity. Another way to find harmony.
We advise helping children to collect themselves. If we see that they are quiet or thoughtful, respect that moment without interrupting them with questions or instructions. Also we can play at being silent for 5 minutes and enjoy the sounds of the environment (especially in nature).
Enjoying the silence we obtain serenity in our home
If you think that harmony is lacking in your home and you don’t know how to handle conflicts with your children or your partner, do not hesitate to ask for advice at the Psychode Psychology Institute of Madrid (Tel: 910000209).
