5 Keys to Confront and Overcome the Injustices of Life

Many of the complaints that psychologists address with people who come to consultation refer to “how unfair it is that my partner has left me”, the injustice of seeing how “the job has been for someone else and not for me.” “, or to think that “there is no right for so-and-so to behave that way with me.”

Injustices: a painful reality with which we must live

They abound in our daily lives these types of reflections that lead us to evaluate what happens to us in terms of justice, as if the personal fulfillment and happiness of each of us could be measured in our perception of the fair and unfair events that happen to us. And some of the most renowned authors in the world of Psychology (Albert Ellis, Wayne Dyer) explained to us a few years ago how the so-called “justice trap” works and they already told us that it works as a cognitive distortion or , in other words, as an error in thinking.

The call fallacy of justice consists in the tendency to value as unfair everything that does not coincide with personal desires Through this type of thinking we consider that everything that does not coincide with our way of seeing things is unfair.

Reframing our perception of injustice

And in this assessment of established injustice, many remain immobilized, gripped by frustration and resorting to the internal dialogue of complaint and apathy in which when one settles only one obtains sadness, dejection…

At this point, it doesn’t make much sense to change our way of seeing things, if I start from the basis that “it’s not fair that this place is not mine with what I have studied” and we repeat it to ourselves in each failed call to pass. my competitive exam, are we favoring a solution to our problem? Are we generating a constructive dialogue with ourselves aimed at improving the aspects that are necessary to pass that exam? No! We’re just complaining! And that complaint can fulfill its therapeutic function in the short term as a way of relief, but when we normalize and establish it, that’s the problem …

5 strategies to confront injustice

Studying hard for an exam or behaving well with others cannot be the passport to not getting a place in competitive exams or a bad reaction from a friend being perceived as unfair. They are realities that simply happen and that we cannot have 100 percent under control

What alternatives could we consider?

1. Differentiate what I want vs. what is unfair

Wanting something with all our might doesn’t make it more possible for you to have it. This reality would have certain implications for our internal dialogue, It would therefore be advisable to change “it is an injustice” to “it is a shame.” or for a “I would prefer it.”

2. Things can happen differently than we would like

Work with our unachieved goals as an excuse to improve and not to use them against us. If wanting something directs you to fight and work for that goal, Complaining about the injustice of not achieving it and tormenting yourself about it takes you a long way from your goal

3. Others have the right to present opinions different from mine

Why do we so often embark on trying to change the opinions of others? It would be advisable for us to free ourselves from the yoke of single thinking and that we promote everyone to give their opinion what they want on any matter. Egocentrism is not going to help us.

4. Choose to act not to observe and analyze

When we stop analyzing what is happening and do not get out of it, we are blocking ourselves. Betting on action will lead us to choose what we want If you need your partner to change something, ask him/her! If you want that competitive exam position, study and keep trying!

5. Stop seeking equity in our relationships with others

If I choose to behave well with someone and be generous I cannot get frustrated repeatedly when others do not act as I would like, when we look for that equitable distribution of “I give you” and “you must give me” we are losing our way. If I choose to be generous I have to keep in mind that it is a personal choice, and that it is my responsibility to decide to change my attitude towards said person or continue being as I am.

Reflections and possible conclusions

Above all of the above, It should be noted that in order to escape the slavery of perceived injustice, we can only do so if we regain the protagonism of our lives and we stop comparing ourselves all the time with others.

Taking into account the reality that surrounds us in which not even the judges themselves have a single and objective vision of what is fair and unfair, why insist on wasting time dispensing justice around us?