In a fluid and changing world, increasingly individualistic and in which interpersonal relationships tend to be increasingly superficial, maintaining a stable relationship over time is a task that can be difficult for a large number of people.
Determining whether a couple is going to last over time can be highly complex, although some aspects can allow us to partially predict where the relationship is headed. For this reason, below we offer you a series of 5 keys to know if a relationship will last
It is difficult to establish whether or not a couple will last and for how long, taking into account that each person thinks, feels and acts differently and has different needs and conceptions of what it means to be a couple. However, as a general rule we can identify Some aspects that make a relationship tend to last Five of them are as follows.
1. Relationships of equality, respect and empathy
An essential element for a couple to last and maintain a healthy relationship is that both parties maintain a relationship of relative equality. That is, the two components make an effort, negotiate and know how to find a balance between their own needs and satisfactions and that of the loved one. There must be a give and take, a give and take. Respect and be respected truly contemplating and taking into account what each person wants is one of the basic pillars of a good relationship.
For the survival of a relationship it is necessary to take into account how the other feels based on what we know about him/her and what emotions and thoughts he/she may experience depending on what happens or what we do, even if these issues are not expressed directly. It’s about taking the other into account.
The existence of positions of superiority and inferiority in a relationship makes one of the parties feel aggrieved and undervalued , weakening the union between the members of the couple. The fact that one person gives everything for the other while the second contributes nothing, or that one of them always has to give in to the other’s demands causes unhealthy relationships that in the long run will end up breaking up, or causing a lot of suffering in the partner. case of being maintained due to some type of dependency.
2. Together, but independent
In many movies and novels we can see or hear the phrase “We are one.” Although this phrase is beautiful in the sense that it reflects a feeling of unity with the couple, taking it to the extreme is highly harmful. The people who make up a couple are still independent beings with their own lives. Although spending time together is also essential for the couple as such to exist, it is necessary to maintain the individuality of each of its components.
Do separate activities allows the world not to be limited to a single relationship In addition, sharing what each person experiences separately is an enriching element that helps strengthen and introduce new things into the relationship.
Otherwise, patterns of behavior and even thought can be established that promote a dependency relationship, which can lead to serious problems when there are conflicts or even if one of the members decides to end the relationship.
3. Basic characteristics or values are shared
In the study of emotional and romantic relationships, one of the most discussed points is whether it is a better predictor of marital happiness to have similar traits or whether it is better for there to be large differences. Although it cannot be applied to all cases, the conclusion of this debate and of various research related to this topic reflects that although it is true that characteristics very different from one’s own can be attractive at the beginning, in general those couples tend to last longer. that have elements in common.
It is not about being identical or having the same personality, but rather sharing some elements such as expectations regarding what their union entails, the level of interest in the other or life expectations and being able to make compatible the characteristics that differentiate us.Personality traits that are directly opposed for example, usually (we repeat that this is a generalization, there are cases in which the opposite happens) end up destabilizing and wearing down the relationship.
4. Dedicate time and effort
A healthy relationship requires that each person have their space, but it is necessary to keep in mind that the partner is not an accessory in our life either. It is necessary to dedicate time to make it work correctly.
Spending time together, experiencing new things, laughing and enjoying each other’s sense of humor and company, talking and communicating, having sexual relations and ultimately doing things together and counting on each other is necessary for our relationship to last.
If, on the other hand, you choose to avoid contact The person will feel unimportant and not valued, wearing down the relationship and having an unfavorable prognosis.
5. There is fluid communication
One of the basic pillars of any relationship (and even in other types of relationships) is communication. But this should not be understood by talking a lot, but rather by expressing our doubts, fears, thoughts, beliefs and deep emotions. Communicating how we feel or what we think helps the other person participate in our life, while making them feel valued and trustworthy. Likewise the couple can help you adopt different points of view or motivate us to act in a certain way, overcome problems or simply enrich our own lives while helping us understand each other better, strengthening the relationship.
Making others feel supported and valued, worthy of trust, is essential. However, one aspect must be taken into account: Communicating does not only refer to telling us the good things. The existence of conflicts is normal and even healthy in the couple, given that the presence of elements that make one of its parts not feel completely good is being communicated. In fact, many couples end up breaking up due to not having communicated harmful aspects of the relationship in time. Of course, said communication must be carried out with respect for the feelings of the other and trying to put yourself in their place.
