Grieving the loss of a child during pregnancy, also called “perinatal grief,” is one of the most painful experiences that parents can go through, whether they are first-time parents or have had other children previously.
Grief consists of a series of psychological symptoms that can also be physical and that affect each parent differently, since no one experiences the same grief in the same way as another person. Of all the variants of duel, the one that occurs after a miscarriage It is among those that have the greatest capacity to destabilize a person’s mental health, among other things because of the doubts it raises about how we should feel.
Therefore, in this article we will explain several key ideas to understand and overcome this form of discomfort.
Understanding grief over pregnancy loss
All grief follows a certain process until the person manages to overcome it and the case of grief over the loss of a baby is particularly painful, since society tends to minimize it due to ignorance, considering that it is a minor grief, since the unborn child has not been known.
At the same time, it can be a grief that is difficult to resolve due to the stigma that still exists socially and the fact that some families tend to hide the sad news when a baby dies in the family.
Grief over the loss of a baby during pregnancy shares some characteristics with other grief; However, it contains some elements of its own that make it even more painful, such as the fact of losing a child, the trauma it represents for new parents and the impossibility of creating or having memories with the deceased.
In any case, it is essential that parents go through all parts of perinatal grief and thatthat they express their feelings without keeping anything inside assuming that the passage of time “will heal it”.
Psychological strategies to overcome grief over pregnancy loss
Below we present the main key ideas that can help us understand grief over the loss of a baby during pregnancy.
1. The importance of saying goodbye
As in any other grief, to overcome it successfully it is necessary for both parents to say goodbye to the deceased baby, in order to begin the process and be aware of going through each stage turning the page. For example, you can perform a symbolic act such as making a memory box with all kinds of goals for the baby as a goodbye. Likewise, photographs of the baby or other objects can also be kept to have some souvenir with which the grief will be passed in a less painful way and reducing the possibilities of making the discomfort chronic.
2. Express your own feelings
Expressing the most painful feelings is of great importance during the first phase of grief. At these times it is vital that each parent can share everything they feel at all times and not keep anything inside. And what is known as emotional labeling, or put into words what we feel even when we are bad helps to overcome processes linked to anguish and/or trauma.
There are many ways to share the pain you feel and this can be done by talking to family, friends or psychologists, writing a diary, painting a picture or through any other form of artistic expression.
It is also important to cry when necessary, without feeling guilty about it (because of that deep-rooted and harmful idea that you have to “be strong” and not discourage the rest of the family), something that should often be reminded of parents, who They have more difficulty expressing themselves.
3. Do not hide what happened
As stated above, perinatal grief is usually silent grief which is not talked about in some families that is usually hidden in public.
To prevent the pain from being even greater, it is advisable to talk at all times about everything that is necessary and share what parents feel with other people at all times, even with their children.
Talk about grief with your children and allow them to overcome it too It is of great importance especially if they are small, cases in which it is necessary to talk openly about the subject without concealments or taboos.
4. Attend support groups
Currently, there are many support groups and psychology professionals specialized in perinatal grief that can help us overcome this painful period in our lives in the best possible way.
A support group is a therapeutic space in which we can share everything we feel with other parents who are in the same situation as us and at the same time where we can listen to other testimonies, knowledge or useful strategies that can be of great use to us. aid.
5. Take the necessary time
Psychological professionals recommend that each person experience grief in their own way, since no two people experience it in the same way. This means take as much time as necessary to get over the pain and don’t rush to do it.
Throughout the process we can use the support of friends and family who will help us with everything we need, as well as our partner, the other person who is suffering the most at this time along with ourselves.
6. Professional psychological help
Whenever necessary, it is highly recommended Go to a psychologist specialized in emotional problems or problems linked to grief and trauma who will listen to us and give us the support we need.
In the consultation of a psychologist we will also be able to express ourselves with total freedom and will help us learn various techniques, strategies and knowledge that will help us successfully overcome our grieving process.
In this sense, if you are looking for professional psychological support, do not hesitate to contact us; in Cepsim Psychological Center we will be happy to help you.