When we talk about grieving, it may seem like we’re talking about death, but we’re actually talking about life.. Because mourning is done so that our life, our projects and our future are better and fuller.
At first it may seem counterintuitive, but that is because it is a process contrary to what society teaches us. And it is not a problem of people: it is a problem of society.
- Related article: “What is sadness for?”
Why we must take into account the importance of grief
Since we were kids They teach us that life has to be a continuous accumulation, growth and achievement.. Anything that isn’t like that sounds like failure. Therefore, when many people suffer a loss in their life, of any kind, they do not know how to react.
It is as if we have been trained only for one part of life, the one that always implies the word more: more money, more status, more relationships… But when we face the other half of life, the one that implies lose and let go, we are totally disoriented.
Furthermore, it must be taken into account that The myths that circulate regarding this topic do not help at all.: You have to grit your teeth and hold on, asking for help is for the weak, if you let things go you will forget them, if you get over the loss of someone it is a sign that you didn’t love them very much, etc.
But none of these myths are true. Grief is a way of doing things, it is the best way to get over a lossthe one that shortens the process the most, the one that most reduces the pain you suffer in a healthy way and the one that gives you a map of the phases that you will have to go through to leave the loss behind without it hindering your future.
The consequences of not doing it well can be devastating and go beyond what one would expect: mood disorders, addictions, worsening or loss of social relationships, suicidal ideations… And sometimes, unfortunately, entire lives. failed.
Furthermore, we have to know that grief is not only necessary when we lose a loved one. It is also essential to successfully face many other situations:
- Losses of employment and professional status.
- Deterioration of health and diseases.
- Worsening of social networks or disappearance of significant relationships.
- Transition from one period of life to another.
- Abandonment of plans and projects…
- Economic losses.
- Situations that involve the feeling of loss of security.
- The great social changes that we are experiencing after which some things will no longer be as they were…
Managing a good duel
The grieving process is far from being mechanical or automatic.. It is always a deeply personal process.
There are several things to learn, and the main one is that, whether we like it or not, there are several phases that we have to go through so that the loss is resolved in the end.
Sometimes these phases are experienced one at a time. Other times they are more intermingled. And, of course, each person experiences them differently: it is a deeply personal process. And it is necessary to invest time, patience and kindness with yourself. And of course, have knowledge about the process that we are going to experience.
We have to know what conditions in our own life and character favor or hinder overcoming the loss. We also have to know in advance what each phase entails, to know what we can expect and so that our own reactions do not catch us by surprise.
But let’s broaden the perspective: until now we have been talking about what each person needs when they are experiencing a grieving process. But the thing do not ends there.
Have you thought about what you would do if a person around you was experiencing a loss? Do you know what to do when someone you care about finds themselves in a situation where they don’t know how to face the fact that a part of their life is over?
It is very important that people know how to lend a hand to other people in a process of this type. We are not talking about knowledge at a professional level, but it is always very helpful if those around a person in a state of loss (which is always a state of fragility), know at all times what is appropriate and what should not be done. . It’s a great way to help family, friends, and other people we care about get on with their lives.
But let’s also be clear about one thing: when you need qualified support, a useful and effective guide to overcome these times in life, There is nothing comparable to the support of a professional who carries out an accompaniment task.. And let us not forget that, sooner or later, whether we like it or not, times of loss come to us all.