6 Strategies to Address Infidelity in Couples Therapy

When the love bond that unites two people is cracked due to infidelity, the courtship or marriage enters a state of declared crisis, evident to both parties, which is impossible to ignore. Therefore, if this experience does not lead to an immediate breakup, it is very important to seek professional psychological support in the form of couples therapy.

In this article We will see several of the intervention strategies used in couples therapy in the face of this type of crisis linked to infidelity, based on the cognitive-behavioral therapy model. In this way you will see that by combining different techniques, it is possible to provide very valuable support to those who are looking for ways to reconfigure their way of living, communicating and loving each other.

How are infidelities addressed in couples therapy from the cognitive-behavioral paradigm?

Infidelities are usually one of the saddest and most unpleasant episodes in the lives of millions of people who have suffered one throughout their lives, but that does not mean that it means the end of the relationship in all cases.

In this sense, going to couples therapy is one of the best ways that exist for those couples who have suffered infidelity on the part of one or both parties and wish to move forward together. In fact, infidelities are one of the most common reasons for consultation in this area

As in any other type of therapy, the couples therapist is a specialist in providing a series of behavioral guidelines, key ideas and contexts of honest communication that can help the couple in their most difficult moments and solve any type of problem. conflict or psychological blockage that infidelity has caused.

Through cognitive-behavioral therapy, we seek to help people modify patterns of behavior and management of thoughts and emotions to, through this double path, live the relationship in a qualitatively different, better and more adapted way. to the needs and difficulties of both, also in cases in which infidelities have occurred.

Psychological professionals who are based on cognitive-behavioral therapy have established, based on long decades of studying this phenomenon, a series of strategies to use to successfully addressing infidelity in the context of couples therapy; We will see them summarized below.

1. Identify the type of infidelity

It is evident that not all infidelities are equally painful nor do they share the same characteristics. That is why one of the first tasks that must be carried out in therapy by the therapist is to help Identify the type and nuances of infidelity

This is necessary so that both members of the couple are aware of what happened, how far the infidelity has gone and what behaviors are considered a betrayal by one part of the couple or another.

In this way we can clarify what happened, both members will be aware of the other person’s behaviors and intentions and we can start working from a shared base.

2. Clarify the intensity of the damage

Clarifying the intensity of the damage received by both parties is also a good way to share what happened and make it clear who is in a position to try to repair the damage caused, in the event that the couple wants to stay together.

Since Not all people experience the damage of infidelity in the same way it is necessary for each member of the couple to share everything they feel after the infidelity, what their degree of affectation is and their reasons for feeling this way.

3. Explore underlying causes through dialogue

Dialogue is the best tool we have in couples therapy so that each party can express themselves and reach a common understanding that helps save the relationship.

In this section it is necessary let the person who has been unfaithful express himself freely to understand his way of seeing what happened and the type of needs he was trying to cover, not necessarily of a sexual nature.

The fact that the person who has been unfaithful feels that his feelings and intentions are also taken into account will contribute positively to clarifying the causes of infidelity.

4. Have awareness-raising as the main objective

Awareness of the problem, that is, realizing what happened, especially for the person who has been unfaithful, should be one of the main objectives of therapy.

Besides that, also More involvement, effort and dedication should be expected to solve things on the part of the person who has been unfaithful than from someone who has suffered infidelity, as long as there is a will to save the relationship.

5. Goal setting

During therapy it is also important the establishment of sub-goals to qualitatively transform the couple’s cohabitation routine and start a new cycle of hope for both parties in which any new problems that may arise can be resolved in a healthy way.

These sub-goals to which both members of the couple commit can be of various kinds, whether behavioral or behavioral patterns or related to acquiring greater cognitive flexibility and being predisposed to having a more positive attitude in discussions or exchanges. of opinions.

6. Monitoring of the process during the following sessions

Monitor the therapy process in the successive sessions that it goes through It is the best way for the therapist to detect possible concerns, frustrations or unforeseen problems that arise in any member of the couple.

Likewise, it is also advisable to assess the progress made by the couple towards the final goal and find ways to motivate the couple and encourage each other regarding the progress made.

Are you looking for couples therapy services?

If you are interested in starting a couples therapy process, contact me.

My name is Diego Sebastian Rojo and I put at your disposal more than a decade of experience caring for patients.