To a greater or lesser extent, we are all selfish in some ways. However, there are people who are excessively so and their behavior attracts a lot of attention. When others are selfish we usually detect it quickly, but when we are the ones who show this attitude, it is difficult for us to recognize and detect it.
But, Is it worth being selfish? The truth is that selfishness can ruin many interpersonal relationships. If you think you are being selfish and want to change your behavior, this article will interest you.
We all know what it means to be selfish and no one likes to be around one of those guys who doesn’t take our needs into account. When we have one of those people nearby who only look out for their own benefit and rarely lift a finger if they are not going to get something in return, we are hardly going to establish a deep friendship or give them our trust.
Selfish people do not exactly enjoy great sympathy from others. In short, selfish people:
And those individuals who are “me first and then me” create toxic relationships, whether as a couple, at work or as friends. Selfish individuals are not always aware that they are selfish or of the harm they do but they end up manipulating their environment to get what they want.
What to do if you are selfish
Selfishness is a more or less common behavior of people, but that does not mean that we cannot adopt behaviors to be more aware of how we behave with others, in order to improve the quality and quantity of our relationships.
If you think you are behaving selfishly and want to change the way you act you can follow these tips.
1. Reflect and accept it
In order to change it is necessary to be aware of what you don’t like. This is key to taking action and transforming yourself. Therefore, to stop being selfish, the first step is to reflect on how your behavior harms others and yourself.
And selfishness breaks relationships, causes suffering and can lead to an intense feeling of discomfort To avoid this, you must examine your selfish actions and how they affect the people around you. Now, when he regrets being selfish, guilt can take over. So it is necessary to accept this behavior and recognize this attitude is not beneficial for either party.
2. Change your perspective
Once you recognize that you are being selfish, it is necessary to change your perspective, and this may require effort and will. Changing your perspective means assuming that you will not always be right and that the opinions of others also count. Once you understand this, you can start offering something to others and not just think about receiving all the time.
Remember that when we give to other people we will feel better, because helping others is also beneficial for the one who provides help and not only for the one who receives it. This is what a study based on brain images concluded by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA).
3. Stop believing that you are the center of the world
Egolatry, egocentrism and selfishness are the same thing for many people, but in reality they are not. For example, you can be selfish without being egotistical. Now, these concepts often go hand in hand. The selfish person wants everything for himself, it is behavior and an attitude. However, while egomania is that one loves oneself very much. Egocentrism is that people think that the center of the universe and that the opinions of others are below their own.
Although these concepts do not always appear together, in many cases people who think so much about themselves do not take others into account or think about their needs. The result is that they are also selfish. Letting go of this way of thinking can help you stop being selfish
4. You must be empathetic
Therefore, it is important to put yourself in other people’s shoes and pay attention to how they feel. A person who can believe that the other person suffers will hardly hurt him (unless he is a psychopath).
Many times we act negatively towards others because we think they want to hurt us or because we are victims of prejudice, and we do not stop to think about the pain we can cause to others. Being empathetic is understanding others, and therefore, feeling open to their feelings and emotions.
5. Listen actively
To understand the emotions of others it is essential that you listen to them But listening is not the same as hearing. To listen, you have to pay attention not only to what the other person verbalizes, but also to what he or she expresses through his or her nonverbal language and behavior.
This is what is known as active listening, which is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice.
6. Don’t just receive, you must also give
When you understand the feelings of others and their needs, then you can open your heart and offer them something. Human beings need to surround ourselves with other people to feel happy. Therefore, Anticipate the needs of others and show them that you care. Sure will thank you
7. Make the effort
It is not always easy to act in a compassionate and altruistic way, because selfishness has a lot to do with how we have been educated and the society in which we live, which encourages these types of practices.
Human beings want immediate pleasure, and this often means that we do not take into account others and the consequences of our behaviors. That is why it is necessary to do your part, because willingness is key when it comes to being compassionate and friendly Better that people remember you as a good person than as someone selfish.
