What is a controlling person like? Why does someone have a controlling personality? Discover the signs that reveal controlling people and what to do about it.
A controlling person He usually tries to take control of any person or situation. In many cases, controlling people tend to do it out of anxiety since they worry that if they cannot maintain this control, things may go wrong for them. On the other hand, some adopt this control to dominate and subdue their victims, being a form of emotional abuse.
We all at some point or another try to control what is happening around us. However, when people try to control elements of others’ lives it can end up damaging the relationship. Then how we can detect a controlling person ?
A controlling person It is someone who tries at all costs to maintain control, authority or power to make decisions over other people and situations. This controlling behavior can include everything from directly telling someone what they can or cannot do as well as more discrete actions such as making others feel guilty. Controlling people often end up completely dismissing the needs of those who are being controlled.
Although excessive control over others can harm a relationship, the reality is that everyone can have tendencies and behaviors typical of a relationship. controlling personality. Therefore, being controlling does not mean being a ‘bad’ person.
Where does the need for control come from?
Controlling another person is generally synonymous with personal insecurity. In fact, the controlling people They usually have this type of attitude because they do not feel secure enough in themselves, so they must exercise control over another person.
Another reason why people are possessive and controlling It is insecure anxious attachment, that is, it is a product of anxiety and fear of the unknown. For people who have this type of behavior, they may distrust themselves or do not feel enough security to face any challenge or tolerate an unknown situation. So, to regain some security, controlling people exert their will in any way they can to achieve it.
What are controlling people like?
There are a series of behaviors typical of controlling people Among the most common, we find the following:
They make the decisions: A controlling person It can end up controlling all the decisions that exist within a relationship (whether romantic or not). In fact, they will end up deciding everything from where you eat to who other people’s friends can be.
Lack of respect for privacy and boundaries: Repeatedly denying others’ need for space or time alone is a controlling person attitude.
Constant registration: someone with a controlling personality He will try to know at all times who you are with, what you are doing and where you are. In addition, they usually ask for evidence to check if you are really telling them the truth.
Will look for unnecessary fights: The possessive and controlling people trying to pick fights out of nowhere, which can be a control tactic to get the attention of the person they want to control. For someone who is a controlling man or woman, negative attention is better than lack of attention.
Control of expenses: Financial control can be one of the quickest ways in which a controlling person Make sure someone depends on her. In this way, you can control everything the other person does.
He wants to isolate you: If someone is actively seeking to isolate you from your friends and family, this is a sure sign that they want to control you. The reason is that the controlling man or controlling woman Seek to limit the support resources you have, so that you can only depend on them.
Use gaslighting: The controlling people They often make others question their own experiences in order to deny or divert attention in order to manipulate them.
Jealousy: A controlling person She is usually jealous due to the insecurity that is usually associated with this type of attitude. Excessive jealousy must be stopped in time because it can lead to abusive situations for the person controlled.
These are the main signs that will allow you to identify a controlling person. In the event that you feel represented by these attitudes typical of a controlling personality, it is necessary that you go to a professional psychologist.
How to act when faced with a controlling friend, family member or partner?
The way we should treat a controlling person It will depend on the dynamics of the relationship:
Controlling couple: In the event that you are in a relationship with controlling man or controlling woman, the big question is whether to continue or leave this relationship. If the controlling person has been abusive, it is important that you seek help immediately. On the contrary, if there is no abuse and you believe that your partner can adjust her behavior, it is important to talk about it with her.
Friend/controller: If the controlling person is your friend, we should try to talk about this type of attitude with them. The reaction to this request will determine whether the relationship can be saved or ended.
Controller Family: Deal with a controlling parent it can be difficult. Despite this, the best way to do this is by establishing strong, firm and consistent limits.
When a person seeks to control you, these types of attitudes do not come from love but from fear. Controlling someone’s behavior and using manipulation is a toxic attitude that must be stopped. In these cases, it is important to go to a psychologist if you do not know how to act when faced with controlling people.
