8 Keys To Know If You Are The Negative Party In A Relationship
All couples have their ups and downs. There are moments of great happiness and others in which one is not so happy, but if the relationship is strong and there is mutual understanding, it is a matter of time before the small problems of coexistence end up being solved.
Naturally, a couple is the union of two people who have different personality traits, but who are supposed to be comfortable together. Now, sometimes it happens that one of them is excessively negative, so much so that it can make the other not enjoy the relationship.
Here Let’s explore how to know if you are the negative party in a relationship in order to know where to start when overcoming a relationship crisis.
How do you know if you are the negative party in a relationship?
In a relationship, not everything is always perfect, since as in any type of relationship there are ups and downs, moments in which the two of you grow together, learning and facing adversity.
Criticism and complaints are normal in every couple, something that if they appear from time to time and are responded to appropriately, they serve to improve the relationship. If there is something that is wrong, it is best to assertively say that it is wrong, but of course, with the intention of finding a solution and get down to correcting it.
Spending too much time complaining over and over again about how bad our boyfriend/husband is doing and pretending to do absolutely nothing is, without a doubt, a toxic attitude. If it happens that you are one of those who behaves like this with your partner, it is quite likely that you are part of the problem in the relationship or, at the very least, the one who plays the negative part. Focusing on the bad all the time and doing nothing to bring about the good will end up, sooner or later, being a problem for the relationship.
One person’s negativity acts as an inevitable destroyer of the other’s happiness , even causes depressive feelings. Negativity bias is a factor that increases the possibility of the self-fulfilling prophecy of thinking that sooner or later the relationship will come to an end. To make matters worse, being a pessimistic person is the worst thing for anyone’s libido, causing the frequency and quality of relationships to be diminished.
If you want to find out if you are really the negative party in a relationship or confirm doubts if you have them, below you will see 8 subtle signs that indicate if you are this type of person (although they do not have to be all obvious). time).
1. You argue all the time
It is normal (and inevitable) to argue from time to time with our partner, since no relationship is perfect and small scuffles can always occur. Now, If it happens that we argue every now and then, the problem is not what is being discussed but the attitude we have, prone to starting these discussions
If you are the one who constantly starts arguments with your partner, this is a clear sign that you do not bring much coexistence to the relationship. If it is argued more frequently and the conflicts are not adequately resolved, it is a mere matter of time before the relationship ends up collapsing and falling apart.
2. You always complain to your friends
It is certainly not a good sign if you are complaining about your partner to your friends, instead of talking to them about the problems and trying to solve them together. It is true that your friends can advise or help you, but If the complaint is constant and you do absolutely nothing to remedy the situation, you are not exactly a facilitator
No one wants to hear constant complaints about your relationship. Do you have a problem with your partner? So give it a solution once and for all. It’s a matter of time before your friends, fed up with your endless complaints, tell you to break up with your partner once and for all (and they may do so thinking more about them than about you).
3. Your partner no longer opens up to you
Another sign of negativity on your part is that your partner no longer feels comfortable sharing their intimate life, opinions and experiences. Instead of sharing the things that happen to him on a daily basis, he prefers to keep them to himself, keep quiet about them, or comment on them to other people. He doesn’t tell you for fear that you might say something negative and make something she was proud of stop making her proud.
People are not beings of light 24/7. There are times when we are happy and others when we are sad. It’s totally natural not to be happy all the time because in life the normal thing is to experience the ups and downs of the roller coaster of emotions.
However, being dissatisfied in general, sad all the time, or unhappy with practically everything is not good for our relationship or for ourselves. This may be a symptom of a mental health problem for which we should request professional help, thinking about both our own good and that of the relationship.
5. You are sexually dissatisfied
There is everything when it comes to sex. There are couples who do not have any sexual relationship, and that is not necessarily a problem There are many asexual couples who maintain a deep, satisfying and complete romantic relationship without resorting to carnal pleasure. Sex is not everything in love.
However, it must be recognized that for most couples this is important and that, if they are not taken care of or taken into account, it is a significant handicap. There are even couples in which the simple fact of not having a full sex life can be the beginning of the end of the relationship
If you are a couple who has had sexual relations before and now you no longer have it, it is clear that there is a problem. Your partner’s attraction to you may be fading because, although you have not changed physically, you have changed emotionally or he or she has discovered a psychological side of you that has destroyed his or her libido. Negativity does not invite you to have sex.
6. You always have to give your opinion
You are one of those people who has the enormous need to give your opinion, although absolutely no one has asked you knowing that they are not usually very pleasant Saying bad things, even if they are excused as “it’s just my opinion”, does not stop hurting, something that your partner will take especially badly. It is painful to date someone who criticizes us, even if they do so unintentionally.
Your partner may tell you what happens to him on a daily basis, but before doing it with you, he does it with people such as co-workers, friends, family…
It is inevitable that on more than one occasion I will tell certain things before other people than to you, this is not in itself a problem; The problem comes when you tell absolutely everything beforehand to people with whom you are not supposed to have as intimate and personal a bond as the one you are supposed to have with you.
The most likely reason for all this is that Every time he tells you something you react negatively and end up undermining his morale Therefore, before receiving your unpleasant comments, she prefers to load herself with the positivity of other people and, thus, when she ends up telling you the things she has done, her opinions or perspectives, your pessimistic comments do not end up sinking her into complete misery. .
You may be interested: “Active listening: the key to communicating with others”
8. Stop doing special things with you
At the beginning of any relationship it is normal to make more plans together than after some time. The spark of passion and excitement to see that special person ends up decreasing in intensity a little with the passage of time, but in every good relationship it never goes out They always do something like, for example, cooking together, meeting for dinner, going on a hike… things like that.
When the time comes when absolutely nothing is done together, it’s time to worry. It may be the case that you no longer feel like doing anything new and, of course, he or she is not exactly excited about sharing his or her time and energy with someone who has stagnated or who sees every new plan as something that will help him or her. it’s lazy If you are a person who no longer wants to try new things with your partner or, at the very least, have experiences together, that is a sign of negativity.
Related article: “Take advantage of boredom to promote creativity”
What to do in these cases?
The most effective way to address this type of relationship problems is to go to psychotherapy. If you are looking for psychological assistance services, I invite you to contact me; My name is Javier Ares and I serve both individual patients and couples in person and online.
