How Can We Know When a Relationship is Healthy?

PsychologyFor Editorial Team Reviewed by PsychologyFor Editorial Team Editorial Review Reviewed by PsychologyFor Team Editorial Review

How can we know when a relationship is healthy?

Relationships can experience many ups and downs, but that does not necessarily tell us if it is going well or not. Each relationship is unique and the tools they have to deal with problems can be very varied.

Nevertheless, There are certain behaviors and attitudes that can tell us if a relationship is on the right track These signs that a relationship is going well are sometimes subtle, while others are very obvious, such as respect or both getting along with each other’s families.

Below we are going to discover several of these signs, understanding their importance with respect to how healthy the relationship is.

    The 15 signs that a relationship is going well

    Each couple is different and unique, as are the people who make them up, therefore, multiple variables will intervene, individual, social, cultural, family, etc., which will influence the dynamics established in the relationship, how we relate to each other.

    However, we can affirm that there are a series of universal signs that tell us if the relationship is on the right track or, on the contrary, has some problem that should be overcome if it intends to continue in the long term.

    Naturally every couple goes through stages, but there are certain behaviors and attitudes within them that can tell us how healthy the relationship is. Next we are going to know in detail what are the 15 signs that our relationship is going well.

    1. Mutual respect is practiced

    Every healthy love relationship is based on mutual respect. If teasing, pejorative comments, manipulation, control of space and privacy appear in the relationship, it will indicate that the relationship is not in balance. In extreme cases in which there is no type of respect, we would find situations of physical and psychological abuse

    Long toxic relationships

      2. There is active listening

      A fundamental aspect in any relationship is good communication, and this is evidenced in the form of fruitful feedback. That is to say, Our partner responds to what we say in the form of gestures of support and understanding, in addition to answering what we ask and showing emotional reactions consistent with what we are telling you.

      An example of not being actively listening, in tune, would be if our partner often starts looking at their cell phone when we want to share experiences or have a conversation with them, since this will increase the disconnection between us.

        3. There is strong complicity

        Complicity is one of the best signs that a relationship is going well. In good relationships, the point of knowledge about each other becomes so great that a knowing look is enough to know what our partner feels or thinks about a certain topic or situation.

        But this does not happen through divination, mind reading or magic, but because Both have allowed themselves, throughout their relationship, to know and understand how the couple feels, what you are thinking about, what worries you and what makes you happy. Because complicity implies a feeling of solidarity, loyalty and absolute trust with the person we love.

          4. The happiness of the other is experienced as one’s own

          The other person’s happiness brings us joy, happiness and pleasure. Without forgetting ourselves, we enjoy and want our partner to be happy, since Both your own well-being and that of others are of vital importance As long as this happiness and well-being is not at the expense of our state of health or happiness, it will be indicative that the relationship is going from strength to strength, because we must not forget that a couple is a team and both have to feel and be in balance.

            5. The transparency law applies

            There is transparency in the relationship, that is, honesty defines the couple, to the point that they both trust each other and this is evident in the decisions that are made. You are sincere with the other in what you say and do.

            6. Own things are shared

            The concept of mine and yours fades in a healthy loving relationship It is not that private property is renounced, but rather that each person’s things are respected, but that is not an impediment to sharing them.

            There is no misgivings or fear that one could break or misuse the other’s things, and if it happened by accident nothing would happen either because it is known that there have been no bad intentions.

            • You may be interested: “The 13 rules of communication in a couple”

            7. There are no secrets

            In healthy relationships based on trust there are no secrets. Both members of the couple know each other’s low moments and vulnerabilities. Recrimination is not present but support and respect for the times that the couple needs to be able to share difficult moments or situations that you have or have lived.

            8. Shared interests are cultivated

            Good couples do everything possible so that those interests that unite them are strengthened. That is why a sign of a good relationship is that time is dedicated to the topics that unite them, such as sports, going to the movies, listening to music, traveling…

            Whatever both partners enjoy, working on it together and strengthening it shows an interest not only in keeping alive what brought them together, but also in spending meaningful time together

            • Related article: “23 things to do as a couple (interesting and fun)”

            9. You think long term

            It is evident that a good relationship has plans for the future. Project yourself for the long term It is a sign that this relationship has its hopes established in continuing the relationship by planning a life together

            In tuned couples there is enthusiasm for establishing and creating projects together, and they do not get scared or evade the issues that have to do with what direction the relationship will take in the distant future.

            10. See your partner’s family as your own

            healthy couples They try to consider their partner’s family as if it were their own There is respect for parents and other siblings, and the aim is to establish a bond with them of unity, acceptance, harmony and tolerance.

            In couples in which there are tensions with the in-laws, although this is not indicative that this relationship is toxic, it is observed that these disagreements generate conflicts and disconnections within the relationship.

            11. You are in the good times and the not so good times

            Couples who are on the right path are not only together in good situations, but also in bad times. The relationship It goes well if you don’t abandon the other when you feel bad or have a serious problem

            In fact, a sign that the relationship is promising is that in both difficult and mature times, support is given to the other.

            • You may be interested: “How to provide emotional support, in 6 steps”

            12. Different points of view are accepted

            No matter how couple you are, It is inevitable that everyone has their own point of view and there are points of disagreement That is not a bad thing, in fact, it is a sign that the relationship is healthy because even though you continue dating someone, you have not lost your individuality.

            Now, it is also healthy to respect the points of view of others, treating them delicately without resorting to personal attacks or undermining the other’s opinion. There is mutual respect, accepting that one cannot agree on absolutely everything.

            • Related article: “How to give constructive criticism: 11 simple and effective tips”

            13. One rejoices in the successes of the other

            The other person’s achievements are experienced and celebrated as your own There are no personal successes, but now it belongs to both of them and joy floods the two lovers in an equally intense way when one of them achieves something that she had longed for.

            14. Decisions are discussed before being made

            The couple is conceived as an environment of dialogue, in which one cannot do what he wants at the expense of the other or without consulting him

            Naturally, there are small aspects of the relationship that the other person does not need to be aware of, but others do need to be discussed before making a decision. A sign that the relationship is not going well is when one makes decisions without consulting the other, imposing it on them and hoping that the other ends up accepting because it has already been decided that way and there is nothing more to talk about.

            • Related article: “How to learn to listen in a conversation in 5 steps”

            15. Own mistakes are recognized

            It is desired and seen as an ideal that there are no arguments within the relationship, but it would be living a utopia because conflicts in relationships are inevitable Both members of the couple are different, they make mistakes and sometimes they also argue, but it is totally normal to disagree on an aspect and for it to end in an argument.

            Naturally, this is not a good sign that the relationship is going well, but rather what comes next. If, after discussion, the member of the couple who made the mistake (or both) recognizes it, this is a sign that the relationship is mature and healthy.

            Trying to reach an agreement after the conflict is also a sign that you care about each other, that you do not want there to be winners and losers in this discussion, but rather for both to be comfortable and reach a new situation in which there are concessions. and efforts in equal parts.

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            • This article has been reviewed by our editorial team at PsychologyFor to ensure accuracy, clarity, and adherence to evidence-based research. The content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. In case of a mental health crisis or emergency, call your local emergency services or contact a licensed professional immediately.