Do you know what a pathological relationship is but you don’t know if your relationship is healthy? Is your relationship healthy? Discover the traits that make your relationship a healthy one.
We are more than informed about what a pathological relationship is, but how do we know if what we have is a healthy relationship? In these cases, there are a series of clues that indicate good health in a Relationship
It seems somewhat obvious that if I don’t have a problematic relationship, then I have a healthy relationship Sometimes what happens is that we often get out of relationships that were very difficult and sometimes by comparison we “settle” for what we have now. Phrases like: “at least he wants to stay with me“, “at least he values ​​me“They usually indicate that we value what we have based on the comparison with what came before instead of validating ourselves with our own criteria. So, how do we know if our relationships are healthy?
What is a healthy relationship?
When the couple relationships are healthy The two members feel connected to each other and are satisfied with how the bond is developing. Although it seems that we all identify with loving relationships, the reality is that there are more and more separations, even in relationships where the couple’s compatibility was high.
There are many factors that can help you identify if you are within a healthy couple relationship , such as commitment and trust in the other. Although these signs are noticeable, there are people who, despite being trapped in a negative relationship, do not know how to identify it. Therefore, it is vital to know if your relationship is really healthy or not.
Therefore, the first step to have a healthy couple relationship It is: listening to our own criteria, what I need in a relationship and assessing whether what my partner gives me is enough.
What are healthy relationships like?
As we have indicated, there are a series of signs that can indicate that you are really in a healthy relationship. If you are wondering, what traits characterize a healthy couple relationship ?, mainly, psychologists highlight the following.
- Independence: Each member of the couple is responsible for their own happiness and does not leave it in the hands of the couple. So that you can have a Relationship fury First you have to love and value yourself. If you undervalue yourself, blame or depend on your partner, the relationship will not be able to be equal, one of the two members of the couple will carry the weight of the relationship and that makes it a pathological relationship. In this way, the love couple It is balanced when you have good self-esteem and self-confidence. A good stable relationship is mainly characterized by members who do not feel dependent on each other and who take care of their inner selves.
- Good communication: Good communication and balance are key. Active listening and empathy are fundamental traits for effective healthy couple relationship It is important to understand the other’s point of view even if we do not agree, in addition to trying to understand why he acts the way he does. At this point it is important to be flexible, tolerant and aim to seek agreements to be on “the same side.” In many cases, the lack of communication between the couple can end with a love relationship For this reason, it is essential to know how to say things. Some people, instead of saying what they think, try to keep their comments to themselves so as not to have relationship problems, something that is a wrong attitude if you want to maintain a healthy relationship.
- Assertiveness and sincerity: Many times in couple relationships There is a tendency to believe that if the other person knows you, they will know what you think. That is one of the big mistakes in relationships. No one can 100% know what you are thinking or what you think about things. If something bothers you, say it, don’t wait for the other person to guess. Many times this type of thinking generates serious discussions and dynamics. Of course, you must try to defend your own opinion and criteria without offending or despising the other person. You can be sincere without hurting. In this way, instead of searching how to make your partner react , the key is to try to see the best way to communicate something that bothers you or hurts you about the other person. In a romantic relationship, sincerity and empathy are key for love to last over time.
- Trust is an essential element: It is impossible to have one healthy relationship if you don’t trust your partner. It is very important to believe in others, accepting them as they are, and lean on them when you need it. Likewise, you also have to be his crutch when he is lame. Giving him the vote of confidence and believing is one of the best signs of health in the relationship. Here we obviously include the topic of jealousy. It is inevitable to feel some jealousy, but you have to trust that the person is not going to betray you in order to have a good relationship; if you are not selling the skin before killing the bear. Romantic relationships cannot survive if one of the two distrusts the other. When negative thoughts begin to arise around a partner, they should be talked about before they get worse. It is very important to maintain good communication and trust so that a love relationship be successful.
- Live in the present and not focus on the past: There is no point in focusing on past mistakes. A healthy relationship is not necessarily one in which there is no discussion or serious problems. To give an example, you can have a healthy relationship after there has been infidelity; Of course, for this it is very important to have regained trust in the other and to have forgiven. In the healthy relationships There are no past reproaches nor do you live permanently in fear of when the other person is going to fail me again. You trust each other and live the present together. When people keep bringing up a couple’s past problems, this is a sign that there is not a healthy bond. Within healthy relationships, people still make mistakes, but they talk about conflicts and resolve them. Keeping hate alive makes there is no respect in the couple
- Realistic expectations regarding your partner: If your partner is lazy, don’t expect him to remember verbatim everything that you do remember. Try to understand what the other person is like and adapt to what they can provide you. Let’s not ask the elm for pears. It is important to assess whether what you ask him to give in the relationship he can provide you. The objective is not to build a “tailored” couple with what you have found along the way, but to accept how it is. your partner and ask for what you need as long as it is not demanding too much. I’ll explain it to you with an analogy: if you buy a sofa but you don’t like it, you can upholster it or put some cushions on it, but if what you do is saw it and make a sofa out of it, you upholster it and add a chaise longue, you have modified so much. its structure that has nothing to do with the original. For that, it’s almost better to buy a seat directly. Well, that’s what happens to many people who try to change their partner so much that they lose their essence. It is one thing to adapt to another and another very different thing to change who you are. The love relationships They start by accepting each other.
- Individuality: This point is very, very important. It is essential that each couple member feel that you can be happy independently of the other. It is not good to give yourself completely or expect the other to give everything for yourself. If you don’t know how to do something, learn instead of waiting for your partner to solve the problem for you. Thus, it is also important to take care of social relationships, family, one’s hobbies… that is, everything that gives you identity as an independent being in parallel with taking care of your relationship. In some relationships, not being able to do things without the other is encouraged. This is a mistake that we should avoid. The healthy couple relationships They respect their own space and individuality. That is, you do different things and you have independence from your partner.
- There is mutual respect: Both people value the relationship and want to be in it because they want to and not because they need to. That is, a healthy relationship is one that does not imply codependency. One is not with the other out of necessity but out of pleasure. In other words: the other does not give you what you lack. You are a complete being regardless of your Relationship but it does bring you extra happiness. Appreciating your partner is vital for people to feel satisfied within a relationship. That is to say, the fact that both people are grateful to the other and value them makes it a healthy relationship
- They are flexible: The changes within the Couple relationships They are normal, therefore, healthy relationships are characterized by flexibility and resilience to them. When love is maintained over the years, whether in marriage relationships or love relationships of any kind, people change, and therefore we must be open to growing together. Not changing or not making an effort to improve a relationship Over time it can end up meaning the deterioration of love within a bond. For this reason, it is vital to learn to live with changes inside and outside of a relationship.
Now it’s time to consider what points your relationship meets and what points it doesn’t. If there are any that you do not fulfill, get to work and work to foster a healthy relationship. If there are several points or you don’t know how to fix one of your relationship problems, consult a psychologist. A romantic relationship must always be worked on.