8 Attitudes Typical Of A Psychologically Abusive Mother Or Father
How do you know if your father or mother is psychologically abusing you? What to do about psychological abuse by parents of adult children? Discover the keys to identifying this type of abuse.
He psychological abuse from parents to children, whether adults or children, it is more common than we can imagine. In fact, there are many attitudes that we sometimes take for granted as ‘normal’ but are typical of a psychologically abusive mother or father. These types of attitudes can damage the self-esteem and mental health of children or adult children, something that has consequences in all areas of their personal and professional lives. But, how can we know what attitudes are typical of parents who mistreat their children?
A psychologically abusive father or mother exercises attitudes where they ridicule making a person feel bad, especially if that person is weak like a child.
All who psychologically abuse approving and bragging about this abuse to their children, it is because they grew up in an environment where these behaviors were tolerated, and so they believe it is the right thing to do. This control is your banner of discipline.
But, behind a abusive mother or father there is not really the discipline, but the fear of loss of control; That is to say, if as a parent I don’t get my way, and I don’t get the child to do what I want or what I’m asking for, then I’m going to achieve it the hard way, and there are many bad ways.
How do you know if a father/mother is a psychological abuser?
There are a series of actions that can be characteristic of psychologically abusive parents Although we can all make mistakes, it is important to keep in mind that these types of attitudes can be harmful to the mental health of our children and correct them in time. Among the examples of attitudes of a verbally abusive mother or father we can highlight the following:
Repress excessively: When parents repress or scold excessively for their children’s mistakes, this can negatively influence their children. In fact, this is a common attitude of parents who abuse their children
Scold in front of everyone: Shouting or scolding in front of other people are also attitudes that damage the mental health of children. This type of abuse from parents to children can have a big impact on your personal confidence and security.
avoid affection: Another way that damages children mentally is the lack of constant affection. Not giving hugs or saying ‘I love you’ to your children is also one of the behaviors typical of children. parents who are psychological abusers This type of attitude creates children to feel completely emotionally disconnected from their parents.
Lack of support: They discipline without empathy, without knowing the child’s inner world, and they do not show love. They remain distant. Children need support, especially when they are facing stressful moments or suffering from emotional problems. When parents deny this type of support they are also psychologically abusing their children since they should be the first to provide them with support.
Using comparisons: Another of the attitudes typical of parents who abuse their children psychologically It is usually the use of constant comparisons. In fact, telling children that they should be like others makes them lose self-esteem and feel bad about themselves.
Exercising too much control: A abusive mother or father He usually exercises excessive control in the upbringing and discipline of minors.
Aggressiveness: They use discipline techniques based on aggressiveness as a standard of discipline (yelling, hitting, intimidating, threatening or abusing insults).
Achievement-oriented: Some Behaviors typical of a psychologically abusive mother or father They tend to be those that are oriented only towards achieving an achievement. For example: “Study if not, no snacks“.
There are adults who, even having learned these behaviors from psychological abuse In their homes, as parents, they have become aware of how painful it is, and they stop the repetition of those situations that harm children, learning other strategies and forms of interaction.
Examples of phrases from psychologically abusive parents
On many occasions, when a parent hits, insults, or yells at his child for being disobedient, we say that he is disciplining him, that it is “education.” It seems that parenthood is a kind of permission to bother the child, to be a bully or an abuser, and society allows it and often favors it. So with this definition bullying is fulfilled since the father/mother is stronger than the child.
Some examples of psychological abuse of children are:
““Keep crying and I’m going to call the police to take you away.”
“If you misbehave, I’m going to take you to the doctor so he can give you an injection.”
“Keep crying and I’ll give you one so you can cry more”
“Be good, if not, I’ll give you that man who’s there.”
“Silly, the others are enjoying themselves and you are sitting here”
“If you continue, I’ll put you in the car and take you to the witch’s house.”
“You’re scared, go ahead, scared,” and the father throws him into the wind, shielding the terrified child’s scream.
“Either you get in the pool or I’m not going to love you”
“Either you shut up or I throw this in your face so that everything goes away”
He psychological abuse from parents to children, whether adults or children, is a very tolerated phenomenon, unfortunately. There are fathers and/or mothers who treat their children badly, producing future bullies with other people such as their classmates, friends, neighbors, and even with themselves, because they repeat the same pattern of aggressive behavior.
How do you know if your father or mother is psychologically abusing you?
To identify the different types of attitudes typical of psychologically abusive mothers or fathers, You can base it on the different types of abuse or bullying that exist. Among the types of Bullying by parents to their children, we have:
Emotional Bullying: It consists of a form of intimidation that humiliates and provokes fear, through actions such as:
Threaten or insult, especially in public. “You’re a fool,” “You’re an idiot.”
Use obscene language. “Look at that ass, what tits.”
Making negative comments regarding gender (“you play like a girl”).
Disregard the child’s tastes. “How could you like that…”
Disqualify your skills. “You don’t run that fast either, it’s no big deal.”
Make fun of or yell at him. “You have a head like a melon… hahaha.” “You read like a retard.”
Constantly criticize him. “We are always the same, you don’t do anything right.”
It occurs in different situations such as forcing them to eat what is served on the table, although others consider that it is educating them so that they learn to value money and health. Every time a father harasses his children “he lays the groundwork” for a problem in their physical and emotional development and can even affect his cognitive development.
Physical Bullying: These are acts of aggression that cause harm.
Slap
Give a spanking so he learns.
My father/mother abuses me psychologically: What do I do?
If you are facing a psychologically abusive mother or father It is important to try to stop this type of attitude and, if you are an adult, go to a mental health professional to address the damage that this type of relationship can cause. Additionally, we advise you the following:
Make yourself a priority: Stop trying to please the mother or father who psychologically abuses you. Take care of your needs and your mental health.
Set limits: Firmly tell your parent that they should not insult you or yell at you. For example, if you are insulted or yelled at, you should end the conversation and leave the room. With this, you let them know that they must respect your limits.
Build a support network: Sometimes it is difficult to face these types of situations, for this reason it is important to try to have someone who can help you. Talk to a friend or other family member to let them know that these types of attitudes are harming you.
Sometimes mothers or fathers who mistreat their children do not realize that they are having a harmful attitude. For this reason, it is important to communicate it to other people or talk about it with a professional psychologist who can advise you in these delicate situations.
