How To Deal With An Unwanted Pregnancy: 5 Psychological Keys
Many women see becoming pregnant as a gift from heaven, especially if they have been trying to get pregnant for years. However, sometimes this event is accidental and experienced in a highly stressful way, full of uncertainty and fear.
Facing an unwanted pregnancy is a delicate matter in which the mental health of the potential mother must be taken into account, what resources she has to cope with it and whether she has support in the decision she has decided to make.
Whatever she decides, which is ultimately what matters, below we address this delicate issue with some recommendations to help any woman who finds herself in this difficult situation.
It is common that, when talking about unwanted pregnancies, the prototypical image of a teenager who has become pregnant or a woman who has been raped, survived, but now has a clearly unwanted child immediately comes to mind.
It is true that these cases exist, but it must be said that unwanted pregnancies are more common than it seems, happening to couples who have been dating for many years, marriages or between two people who, one day, simply did not take the necessary precautions.
Emotionally managing an unwanted pregnancy is quite complex. When this event happens, Both the pregnant woman and her partner (if she has one) face a situation full of dilemmas, uncertainty and fears An unwanted pregnancy can occur at any age and in any type of relationship and, if this is your delicate case, you may be interested in continuing reading. Whatever the case, if your partner has threatened to leave you because of the option you are going to take or has already done so, keep in mind that that person did not deserve to be in your life, regardless of whether you are pregnant or not.
No woman wants to be in the difficult situation of having to decide whether to move forward or not. Although in most developed countries the interruption of pregnancy is legal, as long as certain requirements are met and too many weeks have not passed since fertilization, from the emotional, moral, psychological and relational point of view it represents a before and after. after.
The decision to continue with the pregnancy or terminate it is a very personal experience and there is no right answer for everyone. In fact, the same answer may not be valid at different times in a person’s life, since the economic situation, the people who support them, and the knowledge they have about parenting vary throughout life.
In any case, below We will see a series of tips and recommendations so that everyone who finds themselves in this situation has a small guide or guidelines from which to orient themselves.
1. Identify emotions and attitudes about pregnancy
First of all, we must understand what is the difference between unwanted pregnancy and unplanned pregnancy. The first can be understood as not considering the possibility of having a child at all, while the second is not that the idea of having children is rejected, but it is not considered that this is the most ideal time to have a child.
Having understood this, the pregnant woman You should ask yourself if the problem really is that you don’t want to have children at all or that you do want to have them, but you don’t consider that the time has come yet We should try to identify the feelings associated with the unwanted pregnancy and to do this we can ask ourselves a few useful questions that the father can also ask:
2. Tell your partner
Many consider that the most appropriate thing in this situation is for the woman to tell her partner, since this person has the right to know. It should be said that this recommendation is somewhat debatable, since it will depend on many factors such as, for example, the sentimental situation between the two.
Nevertheless, If the couple is based on trust, respect and fidelity, it is best to communicate this to your partner since the worst that can happen is that you experience what is happening to you alone, even though it is the responsibility of both of you.
If you don’t have your partner to tell you or you don’t consider that he or she is a person who will support you or who will try to manipulate you to make one decision or another, consider talking about it with another person you trust.
3. Your opinion is what matters
Unplanned pregnancies are a topic that raises many points of view, especially the question of whether to continue it or not. There are multiple visions that our religion, friends, family and partner can have, often in conflict with each other. However, The most important opinion is not yours, but that of the pregnant woman herself It’s your opinion that matters.
The only thing that matters is what you think and feel. Obviously, it is important to take into account what your partner thinks and feels, since this is a decision that involves both of you, but you are the one who has the final say. It’s your body, your life and your decision Only you are the one who knows what is best for you because you are the person who knows you best.
If you are afraid of the opinions that may exist in your close circle, keep in mind that you cannot please everyone. In fact, that is impossible not only in this question but in any other, so do what suits you best.
Related article: “Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication”
4. Identify the pressures and isolate your decision from their opinion
As we have commented in the previous point, several people in our circle of loved ones may have a different opinion regarding unwanted pregnancies. Each of their positions can become a form of important pressure that can lead us to make the wrong decision which we will regret for a lifetime.
For this reason, the best thing we can do is understand that the answer to how to deal with an unwanted pregnancy can only come from the people who are directly involved, who are the pregnant woman and her sexual partner. It is the parents who must take control of the situation and try to evaluate all the factors independently of what others think, since at the end of the day they are the ones who will later have to live with what they have decided.
You may be interested: “The 6 main types of toxic relationships”
5. Get informed and talk to a specialist
Finally, it is very important to be adequately informed about an unwanted pregnancy, documenting the next steps to take and doing so through reliable sources. It is highly advisable, especially if you decide not to continue with the pregnancy, Consult with a specialist, tell them about the specific case and have them tell you what methods are available to interrupt the process
Going to a specialist is a very useful option, especially when there is disorientation and confusion regarding the legislation of the country in which we find ourselves regarding the issue of termination of pregnancy. It is not advisable to consult a friend or the Internet in these matters, unless we know that they have reliable and truly useful knowledge on this matter.
There are cases of mothers and fathers who supposedly want to continue but in reality want to terminate the pregnancy by sabotaging the pregnancy by not applying the necessary care This alternative can bring with it very dangerous consequences and, therefore, it is preferable to abort directly no matter how bad it may be for us.
If you decide to continue with the pregnancy, we recommend that you research the care that pregnancy requires to make it safe. It is advisable to inform yourself about the physical and psychological changes that motherhood or fatherhood brings with it and about the development of the fetus and the baby in the early stages of their life.
Related article: “The 8 benefits of going to psychological therapy”
Psychological therapy and unwanted pregnancies
As we said, facing a pregnancy of this type is a complicated task and, whatever decision is made, it is important to learn to manage the emotions associated with the process. This is especially important if the pregnancy is continued thinking about both the health of the mother and the baby.
Making the decision not to continue with the pregnancy, even if it really was not wanted, in most cases usually leaves a deep mark on the mental health of women that requires some type of psychotherapeutic intervention. Through psychotherapy, women will be able to overcome this critical period of their life without developing psychopathology fear of becoming a mother in the future or suffering from any other type of mental condition that calls into question their psychological well-being.
If the decision is made to continue with the pregnancy even if there has not been adequate prior planning, it is important that the woman also attend psychotherapy both before and after giving birth. Thanks to the therapy, the future mother will go through a process in which she accepts her new reality, becoming excited about what is to come and awakening within her her maternal instinct.
And above all, It is essential that throughout pregnancy the woman is as stable as possible, not only physically but also psychologically, since this will have an impact on the baby’s health and its training. The better the future mother is cared for, the less likely she is to develop postpartum depression.
