The Art Of Rebirth: How To Learn To Embrace New Beginnings?
We learn from childhood that part of success in life is educating ourselves to efficiently manage the art of control. Intervene on our emotions, our reactions, our actions and so we could continue. In other words, ultimately the implicit request would be not to be who we really are, but to be beings adapted to different realities. I don’t think that’s the essence of change.
The traditional idea of change can be interpreted in many ways, for example, we could say that if there is so much to control it means that something is not right with us, another slightly more profound way is to ask ourselves why what is happening to us disturbs us and why. it anguishes us.
What underlies these concepts about change is a judgment, which surreptitiously says that our way of being may not seem so good in the eyes of others, which makes it necessary to disguise it or pretend that we adapt to a certain situation. more socially acceptable way. In other words, in principle what we find is a prejudice of how we should be for others.
In this way, what we really end up understanding is that we must learn not to be ourselves, what I mean is that there is a norm within us of who we should be beyond our own aptitudes, preferences and particularities that make us unique. In this way we perpetuate a childish way in which to be loved we had to be adapted to how we were expected to be. Then we were able to put aside our pure essence, so any change today is experienced in an unfriendly way or with few hopeful expectations.
The flow of life takes us along unexpected paths, where sometimes we find ourselves facing situations that force us to start over. Whether due to the loss of a loved one, the termination of a job, or a radical change in our circumstances, these moments mark a turning point in our lives. How could we access this change if we are ancestrally asked for an adaptation that entails an implicit norm? “Be who you are meant to be, no matter if it is who you are or who you want to be,” that is the adaptive response.
Faced with this paradox, we are placed between the idea of being loved for being consistent with the norm, or for being who we are out of love for ourselves. From the perspective where the norm is equal to being loved or accepted, facing and adapting to these new beginnings involves a complex process that can trigger a series of emotions and challenges, for which we lack a manual.
When we find ourselves at the crossroads of a new beginning, it is natural to experience a wide range of emotions that can plunge us into a state of sadness and despair. The sense of loss leaves us feeling vulnerable and disoriented, questioning our identity and purpose in life. At this point, it is crucial to allow ourselves to feel and process these emotions in a healthy way, without judging ourselves. Denying or suppressing our emotions will only prolong the grieving process and hinder our ability to move forward.
On the other hand, facing a change in our circumstances can trigger anxiety and fear of the future. Being disengaged from work, retirement, or facing a sudden change in our living conditions can shake the foundation of our security and stability. We are faced with the uncertainty of how to adapt to this new reality, and the fear of failure can paralyze us. At these times, it is important to remember that adversity also brings with it the opportunity for growth and transformation.
Embracing the changes
As human beings, we have a remarkable capacity for resilience that allows us to face challenges with courage and determination. The psychology of the new beginning teaches us that the adaptation process is not linear, but is characterized by ups, downs and setbacks. It is normal to experience moments of pain and nostalgia as we adjust to our new reality. However, it is essential to adopt a mentality of acceptance and openness towards the unknown. Instead of clinging to the past or fearing the future, we are challenged to learn to live in the present moment and embrace the opportunity to reinvent ourselves.
Social support plays a crucial role in the process of adapting to a new beginning. Seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can provide us with the strength and perspective necessary to overcome the challenges we face. Sharing our experiences and emotions with others helps us feel understood and validated, and reminds us that we are not alone on our journey toward recovery and personal growth.
Additionally, it is important to encourage self-compassion and self-empathy during these difficult times. Instead of criticizing ourselves for our supposed flaws or weaknesses, we should treat each other with kindness and understanding. Recognizing our own humanity and allowing ourselves to make mistakes allows us to learn and grow from our experiences, rather than getting stuck in an endless cycle of self-criticism and self-condemnation.
Finally, the process of starting over gives us the opportunity to rediscover our passion and purpose in life. By freeing ourselves from self-imposed limitations and external expectations, we can explore new opportunities and pursue our dreams with renewed vigor. Each new beginning invites us to redefine what is important to us and chart a new course toward personal fulfillment and lasting happiness.
An exercise that I work with my patients is to imagine a funnel, in which they can see themselves as if they were the water trying to enter and sneak towards the smallest hole that will take them to that new dimension, to identify with the liquid, Try to see yourself surrounding and sliding along all the walls of it to decant, to continue and find that new space that will contain you and that when the time comes to cross it will not be so foreign to you since in that circular coming and going you will gradually leave. friendly to that new reality that will surely be for a while, until the process repeats itself.
We must not fear or stop raising awareness about this process of growth that will allow us to see ourselves in a different way and feel included, because we were part of it, just like the liquid that fluidly lets itself be carried away to find the way out to a new way of feeling and see us. In short, facing a new beginning from a psychological perspective involves accepting and embracing the complexity of our emotions and experiences.
It is through the process of grieving, adaptation and personal growth that we can transform adversity into an opportunity to be reborn and flourish. By cultivating self-compassion, seeking support from others, and maintaining a mindset of openness and acceptance, we can embrace the future with confidence and determination. Ultimately, the art of rebirth lies in our ability to find meaning and purpose in the challenges we face, and in our willingness to embrace the opportunity to begin anew, once again.
